Long Island Lunatics Hash House Harriers

Long Island Lunatics H3Description

Founded by I-Feel Tower, Lazer Labia, Fort Orgy, A Little Dirty, Spank The Plank & Bug Juice. The inaugural running of the Mad Cows took place on Long Beach on May 6th, 2012. This hash is a celebration of the Full Moon & the vast, unspoiled acreage of Long Island. That is, until we get there.


We usually hash on the Saturday nearest the Full Moon. The exact date & time are posted here, as well as on our Facebook Group and on Meetup. There is usually a pArTY tRaIN leaving Penn Station for these events. Join us!

Receding Hareline (All Past Hashes)

Never hashed? Wondering what this is all about? Click here...

Date/Time Start / Transit Info Subway/LIRR/Metro North/Path Hare(s) OnIn
LIL Trail 93
LIL #93
Start: Ziggy's Corner Pub, 1 Central Ave, Massapequa, NY 11758
Transit: Arrive Massapequa at 2:56 via Babylon Line of LIRR
From Penn: 1:55 Babylon Train arrives in Massapequa at 2:56
From Atlantic: 1:45 Hempstead Train; transfer to 2:20 Babylon Train in Jamaica

It’s November, Trail starts at 3p the pack will probably be away at 3:30, it gets dark at 4:30. Bring a headlamp!
What A C*N+
LIL Trail 92: The Horror Of Amityville
LIL #92
Start: Amity Ales, 192 Broadway, Amityville
Transit: 5:18pm LIRR pArTy TrAiN from Penn to Amityville, arriving at 6:32pm. (If you miss this one, the 5:55pm from Penn will get you there by the time trail starts.) Or, take the 5:12 or 5:42 from Atlantic Terminal.

Don your best Halloween Costume, r*n, and drink at this year's Amityville Horror Hash.
Cheeky Bastard
LIL Trail 91: Laid From Long Island It’s Leftovers
LIL #91
Start: Valley Stream Prelube: Rail Road Inn, 151 S Franklin Ave, Valley Stream, NY 
Transit: Arrive Valley Stream: 3:19p 2:43p From Penn (no Jamaica Transfer) 2:42p From Atlantic Terminal Bk, Jamaica Transfer @ 3:03 for the Long Beach bound train, Arrive Valley Stream: 3:19p

On-In: Call the Kaptian: 516-375-3534 Follow Marks from E Hawthorne Ave and Horton Ave, Lynbrook, NY

Frank Llayd WrongCall the Kaptian: 516-375-3534 Follow Marks from E Hawthorne Ave and Horton Ave, Lynbrook, NY
Party Like It's 1999
LIL #90
Start: Wantagh, NY
Prelube: Ridgewood Station Tavern, 3231 Sunrise, Hwy, Wantagh, NY
Transit: All Transit Via LIRR Arrive Wantagh 3:21pm
From Penn: 2:25p (no transfer) towards Babylon, arrive Wantagh 3:21pm
From Atl. Term. (Brooklyn): 2:12p Transfer @ Jamaica for the 2:50p towards Babylon, arrive Wantagh 3:21pm

A 90's Theme Hash! Party Like It's 1999 Best 90's Costume/Themed wear will win a Quail-Man bobble head.  Prepare for water crossing &/or a wet on-in; bring swimsuits or cleanup your birthday suit.
Patron Taint Of The Willing Tongue
LIL Trail 89: Naughty List Most Wanted
LIL #89
Start: It's a Christmas in July hash Ya'll! Prelube: Harbor Crab Co. 116 Division St, Patchogue, NY 11772  
Transit: All Transit Via LIRR Arrive Patchogue at 3:54p 2:12p from Penn, Arrive Patchogue, at 3:54p (No Transfer) 2:12p from Atlantic. Transfer at Jamaica for 2:41 towards Speonk. Arrive Patchogue, at 3:54p Prelube is a .25 Mile west of train station.
Sir Gay
LIL Trail 88: Trail of 1000 Mermaids
LIL #88
Start: Update! Parade watching is on NE corner of 10th/Surf. Trail start:
1001 Riegelmann Boardwalk, Brooklyn, NY 11224
Coney Island, Brooklyn, NY, USA
Meeting place/chalk talk will be on the boardwalk, look for the On-On Flag &/or yell R U to find the pack.
Trail will occur AFTER the Mermaid Parade.
The event start time is when the parade occurs.
Pack will likely be away at 3pm.
Stay Tuned for updates and details.

Transit: The D, F, N, & Q Subway lines will take you to Coney Island. All run from Atlantic Terminal/Barclays Center. If you choose to drive please take note that free parking is very, very, scarce.
Kaptian Hooker &  What a €*nt.
Don't forget to bring a towel. 
LIL Trail 87: Hare with Many Names
LIL #87
Start: Half Moon Bar & Grill. 22 E Park Ave, Long Beach, NY 11561
Transit: Arrive Long Beach at 2:39p 1:43p from Penn, Arrive Long Beach at 2:39p (No Transfer) 1:42 from Atlantic.Transfer at Jamaica. Arrive Long Beach 2:39p.

On-In: Food trucks and tables next to the boardwalk on Riverside Blvd in Long Beach

DogfaceFood trucks and tables next to the boardwalk on Riverside Blvd in Long Beach
LIL Trail 86
LIL #86
Start: Rockville Center
Prelube: North Village Tavern 40 N Village Ave, Rockville Centre, NY 11570
Transit: Arrive Rockville Center (RVC) 3:02pm
From Penn: 2:21p Babylon Train to Rockville Center
From Atlantic Terminal: 2:23p Far Rockaway Train; Transfer @ Jamaica 2:46p Babylon Train to Rockville Center

Last minute update: Bring a dry bag ("it rained") and DO NOT buy a round trip ticket!
Ditch Sucker &
Drop a Pin Slip It In
Mad Cow Marchness
LIL #85
Start: Bellmore Prelube: (now) KJ Farrells Bar and Grill, 242 Pettit Ave
Transit: Arrive in Bellmore at 2:48p. From Penn. 1:55P arrive Bellmore 2:48p. From Atlantic Terminal: 1:45p- Transfer Jamaica 2:20p-  arrive Bellmore 2:48p  
Patron Taint of the Willing Tongue
South Weasternton Northport
LIL #84
Start: Northport Prelube: The Laurel Bar 8 Laurel Road, East Northport, NY 11731
Transit: PArTy TrAin to Northport, arriving at 1:17p From Penn: 11:52a From Penn, transfer at Huntington (1:07p) arrive 1:17p Northport From Atlantic Terminal Brooklyn: 11:45a from Atl. Term. Transfer at Jamaica (12:15p), and Huntington (1:07p) arrive 1:17p Northport. Meet at Front of the train! For PArTy TrAin!!

Trail will be A➡B with bag / beer truck provided. Bring cash for a bar stop and a change of clothes. We will be getting muddy.  On-in is allowing us to play with fire, take that as you will.
Sir Gay  & Kim Dong Dildo
LIL #83
Start: Dang BBQ, 174 Islip Ave., Islip
Transit: Revised from BK!: 11:21 Atl. Term to Jamaica, 12:20 Jamaica to Babylon, 1:18 Babylon to Islip OR 11:55 Penn to Babylon, 1:18 Babylon to Islip. Either way, arrive at Islip at 1:29
Cheeky Bastard
LIL Trail 82: Festivus
LIL #82
Start: Gibson (Valley Stream) Prelube: Méli & Mélo Restaurant and Lounge. 153 Dubois Ave, Valley Stream, NY.
Transit: LIRR to Gibson. 3:22p from Penn, transfer Jamaica 3:45p, arrives Gibson 3:59p 3:22p from Atlantic Terminal, arrives Gibson 3:59p

Join the Mad Cows of Long Island in celebrating, in you're ugliest of holiday sweaters, Festivus!

Hash Cash: $20 or an unopened toy (to be donated to Toys for Tots). Virgins: $10
Kaptain Hooker
Hash Wedding
LIL #81
Start: Astoria. Prelube: Mad Donkey Beer Bar & Grill 32-07 36th Ave, Astoria, NY 11106
Transit: LIRR to Woodside. 1:47p from Jamaica, arrives Woodside 1:56p Subway to 36th St stop on the N line. From Woodside: 7 train to Queensboro Plaza, North N train to 36th St stop. From Atlantic Terminal: N train North to 36th St. Stop. From Penn: N Train (From Herald Square) North to 36th St. Stop. 

Its a Hash wedding ya'll! So lets have a trail, get weird, and get the two hares hash hitched.
Teal Train to Pound Town &  Just Lisa
LiL H3 Trail 80- Douglaston
LIL #80
Start: Alley Pond Sports Bar & Grill 232-01 Northern Blvd, Douglaston, New York 11362
Transit: 11:48 from Penn Station to Douglaston. 11:39 from Jamaica to Douglaston (Change at Woodside). Brooklynites: suggest taking the from Penn station train Less then a 10 minute walk to Start.

$25 Hash Cash
Coffee Queefer & Doll Vag
LIL H3 Trail 79 - Stony Brook
LIL #79
Start: Stony Brook. Prelube: The Bench. 1095 NY-25A, Stony Brook, NY 11790.  Right Across the street from the train station.
Transit: LIRR: 1:25p From Penn, arrives 3:17p (no transfer). 1:13p from Atlantic, transfer at Jamaica (1:50) and Huntington (2:42p) also arrives at 3:17p.
Hare: Shots 4 Tots Co-hare: Sir Gay
🐄 Mad Cows RGM!! ⭕
LIL #78
Start: Kings Park. Prelube and Trail Start: Main Street Pub, 21 Main St (map)
Transit: LIRR pARtY tRAiN to Kings Park leaves Penn at 11:52am (Atlantic at 11:43), change at Huntington, arrive at 1:24pm.

Note the early start time. We have a tide to catch! Bring a dry bag and a waterproof phone case if you have one. You WILL GET WET on this trail. Cum see who's taking over the Lunatics mismanagement!
A Little Dirty & Hindlick
LIL #77
Start: East Rockaway. Trail start & Prelube: Barrier Brewing, 3001 New St (map)
Transit: ParTy tRaIn to East Rockaway leaves Penn at 1:42pm or Atlantic at 1:13pm. Both trains transfer at Jamaica. Arrive at East Rockaway at 2:26 (plenty of drinking time!). (Note: train schedules from Atlantic have changed. The 2:13pm train will still get you there in time for trail.)

Bring a change of clothes AKA Dry Bag or die. P.S. Anyone in a Naughty.Cul (nautical) get up gets a prize.
Kaptain Hooker
LIL #76
Start: Wantagh, Prelube: Bunker Hill American Tap Room (1912 Wantagh Ave, map)
Transit: 1:55pm paRty trAin from Penn to Wantagh (or 1:43pm from Atlantic), arrives at 2:51.

It's a Pool Party! Bring your bathing or birthday suit.
Patron Taint of the Willing Tongue
Mad Cows' 6th An*lversary!!
LIL #75
Start: Greenlawn. Prelube: Beau's Bar, 54 Broadway (map)
Transit: 1:21pm paRty tRAin from Penn (1:13 from Atlantic) to Greenlawn, change at Huntington, arrive at 2:43.
LIL #74
Start: Port Jefferson. Prelube: Tara's Inn, 1519 Main St (map)
Transit: 12:22 pArtY tRaIn from Penn Station or Atlantic Terminal, transfer at Huntington, arrives at 2:27pm. (Hashers from Brooklyn also transfer at Jamaica)

Wear shiggy socks and trail shoes!
Jersey Steamer & Crotch Flap
LIL #73
Start: Riverhead
Transit: 1:07pm pArtY tRaiN from Penn, transfer at Ronkonkoma, arrive at 3:15pm
12:45pm from Atlantic Terminal, transfer to the pArtY tRaiN at Jamaica at 1:30.

Trail will visit at least 3 breweries with shiggy, turkey/eagle trail and possible water crossing. It's a hike to get out there and trains out of Riverhead are few and far between, so plan to stay the night! There are a few options for crash space, otherwise some hashers will be taking a cab to Ronkonkoma to catch an hourly train back.
Sir Gay & Teal Train to Pound Town
LIL #72
Start: Westbury. Prelube: Friar's Tavern, 231 Post Ave. (map)
Transit: 2:22pm pArTY tRaiN from Penn or Atlantic Term to Westbury, arrives at 3:06.
Patron Taint of the Willing Tongue
Geordi's Beer Day!
LIL #71
Start: Susan's Pub, 8 Railroad Ave, Bethpage, NY
Transit: pArtY tRaIn: 12:12AM from Penn Station, or 11:45AM from Atlantic with a transfer at Jamaica. Arrives 1:01PM at Bethpage. Note the early train time!

Shiggy socks strongly recommended.
Geordi La Foreskin, Cums Faster Than Men, & Surprise I'm Illiterate
LIL #70
Start: Jamaica LIRR, Prelube: Maloney's, 87-67 Sutphin Blvd (8 min walk from station, map)
Transit: 2:22pm pArtY tRaIn from Penn OR Atlantic. Trains 'come together' at 2:43!

This on-in is worth coming out and we have a swell avoid-the-cold trail planned! There will be beer! There will be warmth! You will get a workout but none of your parts will fall off, guaranteed*. Still, it will be VERY cold and there is a wind chill advisory, so please make sure you keep all your parts covered (wear gloves and a hat).

*As long as you don't decide to do trail with no pants on.
Grayvee Train & What a C*nt
69th R*nning of the Mad Cows!! Dec 1-3
LIL #69
Start: Montauk
Transit: Options are listed here under "Transportation"

We're doing the 69!! All weekend long. Starting with a Mad Cow pub crawl Friday night, a super shitty coastal trail on Saturday, pARty Saturday night with live music and fire pits, and wrapping it up with a fat boy trail Sunday. Rego is only $69 and includes a T-shirt! Here's what you need to do:
1. Submit your rego: https://sites.google.com/view/longisland69
2. Pay A Little Dirty $69 (check the Event Details on the url above)
3. Book your room at Daunt's Albatross Motel (631) 668-2729‬
There are only a handful of rooms left! We need a headcount to plan beer and food quantities, so please book and pay by Thanksgiving. Shirts will be ordered Nov 15.
R*n 69 Committee
LIL #68
Start: Great Neck LIRR, Prelube: Señor Nacho 31 S Middle Neck Rd (exit front of train)
Transit: 2:18pm pArTy TRaIn from Penn Station to Great Neck, arrives at 2:55. No train from Atlantic this time, Brooklyners!
Hindlick & A Little Dirty
The Amityville Horror Halloween Hash
LIL #67
Start: Amityville LIRR parking lot
Transit: 6:46pm LIRR pArtY tRaIN from Penn to Amityville, arriving at 7:50. (If you miss this one, the 7:08 will get you there by the time trail starts.)

Join the Mad Cows in Amityville on Friday the 13th to party again with the ORIGINAL Long Island H3!

On-In: Carney's Irish Pub And Restaurant, 136 Broadway, Amityville

Cheeky BastardCarney's Irish Pub And Restaurant, 136 Broadway, Amityville
LIL #66
Start: Valley Stream. Prelube: Railroad Inn, 151 S Franklin Ave (under the tracks, map)
Transit: 2:12pm pArtY tRaIN from Penn -or- Atlantic Terminal to Valley Stream. Penn stationers transfer at Jamaica this time! Arrive at 2:45.
Kaptain Hooker
LIL #65
Start: Lynbrook, Prelube: Pearsall's Station, 479 Sunrise Hwy (across from LIRR Station, map)
Transit: 2:25pm pArTy tRAiN from Penn to Lynbrook, arrives at 3:03. Brooklyn alternative: 2:12pm from Atlantic Terminal transfer at Jamaica to the Penn pArTy tRAiN!!

Good chance of getting wet on trail - bring dry everything to change into. Bring a waterproof bag to keep any valuables dry on trail. Chicken/Eagle split. Drink check.
Piece of Slut
LIL #64
Start: Rockville Centre. Prelube: MacArthur Park Restaurant, 1 Maple Ave
Transit: 1:55 pArTY tRaiN from Penn to Rockville Centre, arrives at 2:36.
Three Inch Troll Slayer & Amoeba
LIL #63
Start: Wantagh LIRR Station, Prelube: Correy's Ale House, 3274 Railroad Ave (map)
Transit: 1:55pm pArtY TrAiN from Penn, arrives in Wantagh at 2:51.

Summer's coming and we're going swimming regardless if it feels like summer. Bring suits!
Patron Taint of the Willing Tongue
Mad Cows' 5th An*lversary and.. Derby Day!
LIL #62
Start: Floral Park LIRR, Prelube: Arp's Tavern, 45 Atlantic Ave (map )
Transit: 1:42 pARtY TrAiN from Penn or Atlantic, arrives in Floral Park at 2:19pm.

Remember all that swag at the inaugural trail?? Well, we won't have any of that, but there will be a trail and beer and much rejoicing. It's Derby Day! Don't let an excellent opportunity to get drunk while wearing extravagant headgear pass you by!
The Mismanagement
LIL #61
Start: Sea Cliff, Prelube: The Crispy Pig, 243 Glen Cove Ave (GOOD BEER - worth the mile walk: map)
Transit: 12:22 PaRtY TrAin from Penn Station, arriving in Sea Cliff at 1:26pm (DON'T MISS THIS TRAIN, or.. consider a cab from Mineola)

Expect non-pizza food and non-concrete r*nning. Advance RSVP on the Facebook event greatly appreciated!
Coffee Queefer & Kim Dong Dildo
March Madness
LIL #60
Start: Bethpage, Prelube: Susan's Pub, 8 Railroad Ave (map)
Transit: 2:12 LIRR pArtY TrAiN from Penn to Bethpage, arriving at 3:01pm. Train from Atlantic Term leaves at 1:45.

$0.75 Beer and other Unbelievable Lies!
Patron Taint of the Willing Tongue
LIL #59
Start: (and prelube) Oyster Bay Brewing Co., 36 Audrey Ave (map)
Transit: From Penn take the 12:25pm pArtY tRaIn to Oyster Bay, change at Jamaica and arrive at 1:46. (Coming from Brooklyn, take the 12:22 from Atlantic Term.)
Ditch Sucker & Drawn Johnson
LIL #58
Start: Greenvale LIRR station
Prelube (and trail start): The Barefoot Peddler, 37 Glen Cove Road (map)
Transit: 12:25 LIRR pArTy tRaIn from Penn to Greenvale, transfer at Jamaica, arrives at 1:20pm. (From Brooklyn, leave Atlantic Terminal at 12:22)

Bring shiggy socks!
Teal Train to Pound Town & Just Lisa
LIL #57
Start: Ronkonkoma, Prelube: The Diamond Club, 33 Railroad Avenue (map)
Transit: 12:12pm LIRR PaRtY tRaIn from Penn Station, arriving at 1:32. (Brooklyn Lunatics can intercept this one by taking the 11:45am from Atlantic Terminal)

Local craft beer at the on-in! It's your antidote...
Cheeky Bastard and Kap'n Hooker
LIL #56
Start: Mineola. Prelube: O'Carroll's Recovery Room, 214 Station Plaza North (map)
Transit: 2:22pm PaRty TrAin from Penn to Mineola, arriving at 3pm.
Doll Vag and Krispy Kringle
The Amityville Horror Halloween Hash
LIL #55
Start: Amityville LIRR Station
Transit: 6:25pm PaRTy tRAiN from Penn to Amityville, arriving at 7:31.

It's the resurrection of the ORIGINAL Long Island H3! And both LIL and CUNT are going to help drink their beer while we drag them out of dormancy. Costumes are mandatory and spooky drinking vessels go to the first 69 hashers who RSVP and show-up! Please email Bee Fart or join the Long Island Lunatic's Facebook (closed group) or Meetup events. Prelube at 7pm in the parking lot. Bring $25 hashcash, a flashlight and virgins!
Bee Fart, PhranCruthers & A Little Dirty
LIL #54
Start: Kings Park, Prelube: Main Street Pub (map)
Transit: PaRtY tRaIn departs Penn at 11:51am, arrives in Kings Park at 1:20pm.

One word: INNERTUBES!!
Hindlick & A Little Dirty
LIL #53
Start: Bellmore LIRR station, Prelube: Third Rail, 216 Pettit Avenue (map)
Transit: 2:25pm PaRtY tRaIn from Penn to Bellmore, arriving at 3:18.

Another epic trail promised! Epic means something extra-ordinary (and the extra means hash cash will be $25-30). However, a big turnout means a better deal. Please RSVP on Facebook or Meetup (or send Coffee a wee note). And bring a swim suit!
Coffee Queefer & Little Bitch
LIL #52
Start: Stony Brook. Prelube at The Bench, 1095 Rt. 25 A (across from LIRR station, map)
Transit: 12:22 LIRR pArTy tRaIn to Stony Brook, arriving 2:15pm

Bring train beers and a change of clothes. There's an optional swim leg on trail!
Teal Train to Pound Town
LIL #51
Start: Wantagh LIRR Station. Prelube: Corry's Alehouse (map)
Transit: 1:55pm LIRR pArTy tRaiN from Penn to Wantagh, arriving at 2:51.

Expect standard summertime hashing goodness! Bring shiggy socks, sunscreen and you might want to throw in a towel and something to swim in (just in case).
Patron Taint of the Willing Tongue
Mad Cows' 4th An*lversary!
LIL #50
Start: Malverne, prelube: Connolly Station (exit back of train, cross tracks map)
Transit: 3:22pm LIRR pArTy tRAin from Penn to Malverne, arriving at 4:06pm. Transfer at Jamaica at 3:45, transfer AGAIN at Valley Stream at 4:00.
Note the later start time!
A Little Dirty & Kap'n Hooker
LIL #49
Start: Massapequa
Prelube: Ziggy's Corner Pub, 1 Central Ave (at the station)
Transit: Take the 1:45 PaRtY tRaIn from Penn to Massapequa station, arriving 2:45pm.

It's 'Spring Training' - wear your favorite sports team attire!
Patron Taint of the Willing Tongue
LIL #48
Start: Rockville Centre
Prelube: Cannon's Blackthorn, 49 N Village Ave (map)
Transit: 2:15 Babylon train from Penn to Rockville Centre, arriving at 2:58.
Pert Plus & Coneylingus
LIL #47
Start: Hicksville
Trail Start & Prelube: Smashburger (180 W Old Country Rd, 6 min walk from Hicksville LIRR Station). Hashcash will be $30. Expect the unexpected! RSVP on the facebook event page (if you're not a member, join Long Island Lunatics H3 and the link will work).
Transit: 1:12pm PaRtY tRaIn from Penn, arrives in Hicksville at 1:55.
Coffee Queefer & Kim Dong Dildo
LIL #46
Start: 4th Ave Pub (76 4th Ave, Brooklyn)
The original trail has been postponed until Feb 20. Come out for an A-B trail we're calling.. Plan B!
Transit: D/N/R/Q/4/5/2/3/LIRR to Atlantic Terminal
A Little Dirty and friends
Lunatic RGM
LIL #45
Start: Lynbrook LIRR Station
Prelube: McQuades, 275 Merrick Rd
Transit: pARtY TrAiN: 1:55pm from Penn, arrives in Lynbrook at 2:37.
Kaptain Hooker
LIL #44
Start: Forest Hills (LIRR station). Prelube: Dirty Pierre's, 13 Station Square
Transit: 2:15pm pArtY tRaiN from Penn to Forest Hills, arrives at 2:31. A one-way city ticket will get you there for $4.25. You can also take the E/F/M/R to Forest Hills 71st Av.
Bolly Woodless
Mad Cows Invade New Jersey
LIL #43
Start: Laurel Hill Park, 3 blocks from Secaucus Junction
Transit: Meet at 12:45pm for prelube at Tracks. The 1:14pm PaRty tRaiN from Penn to Secaucus Junction costs $4, takes 9 minutes and it's an easy walk to the start.

The Lunatics are taking their beers and cow print to Summit H3's Interhash 2015! You can start the weekend at Friday's Bimbos trail and reserve room(s) at the hash hotel, stay for the full event including dinner Saturday night - or - just run trail Saturday. More info at hashnj.com
Jersey Asshole & Sassy Lassy
LIL #42
Start: Locust Valley LIRR station
Prelube: Tavern on the Plaza (right at the station)
Transit: 12:25pm pArTY tRaIn from Penn, arriving 1:35pm

Live hare! Bring shiggy socks and a change of clothes if you want to take a swim.
Cum on Moses, Just Diana and A Little Dirty
LIL & C*NT Joint Hash
LIL #41
Start: (and prelube) Oyster Bay Brewing Company, 76 South St. (close to the station)
Transit: 12:25 LIRR PaRtY tRaIn from Penn to Oyster Bay (transfer at Jamaica), arrive at 1:46pm.
Cum Test Dummy
LIL #40
Start: Bellmore LIRR Station, Prelube: KJ Farrell’s Bar, 242 Petite Ave (across from the station)
Transit: 1:55pm PaRtY tRAiN from Penn, arriving in Bellmore at 2:48pm.

Bring a bathing suit! There will be opportunities to get wet on trail.

On-In: La Casa de Willing Tongue

Patron Taint of the Willing TongueLa Casa de Willing Tongue
4th of July
LIL #39
Start: Massapequa Park at 3 in the Rear's house
Transit: 12:55pm pARty tRAin, arriving at 1:58.

PLEASE RSVP for this one by joining the event on Facebook or emailing 3 in the Rear (ubiquity24@yahoo.com). Bring: sunblock, bug spray, shiggy socks, a towel, dry clothes and wear a bathing suit!
3 in the Rear & Kim Dong Dildo
LIL #38
Start: Floral Park LIRR Station
Transit: 11:45am pArTy tRaIn, arrive at 12:21.

Note the early start time. This isn't your standard trail, folks. Come find out why! Hashcash will be $30.
Coffee Queefer & Kim Dong Dildo
Mad Cows' 3rd An*lversary!
LIL #37
Start: Locust Valley, Prelube: Tavern on The Plaza (right at the station)
Transit: Take the 12:25 paRty tRain from Penn to Locust Valley, arriving at 1:35pm.
Joint PRE-Prelube at Penn (Track's Bar) at 11am with hashers heading to Tower's Stencho De Mayo.
Krispy Kringle, Coneylingus & A Little Dirty
I-Feel Tower's On Out!
LIL #36
Start: Oakdale, Prelube: McGovern's, 1487 Montauk Hwy
Transit: 12:55pm PaRTy tRaIn from Penn to Oakdale, arriving 2:37. Transfer at Babylon!
I-Feel Tower & Spank the Plank
LIL #35
Start: Long Beach LIRR
Prelube: The Park Bar & Grill, 20 W Park Ave (across from the station)
Transit: From Penn take the 1:45pm PaRTy (toga optional) tRAiN to Long Beach, arriving 2:42pm.
Bring: Dry bag, virgins, whistle, thirst for beer, extra liver, insults, etc.
Dick Shavin's Vagina Juice
The Kaptain's Virgin Lay
LIL #34
Start: Valley Stream LIRR station
Prelube: The Rail Road Inn (AKA The Rail), 51 South Franklin Ave (under the station)
Transit: 1:12 LIRR train from Penn to Valley Stream, arrives 1:45pm.
Note the early start time!
Kaptain Hooker & Ditch Sucker
LIL #33
Start: Mineola LIRR Station
Transit: 2:22pm pArTy tRAin from Penn Station, arrives in Mineola at 3pm. Prelube: Murphy's Bar & Grill, 234 Old Country Rd
R*n with the Mad Cows in... Brooklyn!
LIL #32
Start: 25th Avenue subway station on the D line.
Bring a headlamp or flashlight.
Cheeky Bastard
LIL #31
Start: Hicksville (LIRR station)
Transit: Take the 3:12 pArtY tRaIN from Penn Station, arriving 3:55.
Doll Vag
The Amityville Horror Hash is BACK!
LIL #30
Start: Copiague LIRR Station
Transit: Take the 3:57 LIRR PaRTy TrAiN from Penn to Copiague (Babylon line), arriving 5:06.

We're reviving the Amityville Horror Hash and hopefully the sleeping ancestor of the LIL kennel - the ORIGINAL Long Island H3! Come in your best zombie costume:
Condom Style, Bee Fart & A Little Dirty
The Great Gatsby Trail, Old Sport
LIL #29
Start: Great Neck LIRR
Transit: From Penn take the 2:18pm LIRR PArTY TrAiN, arriving 2:55.
Bushy, Coneylingus & Splat
LIL #28
Start: Riis Landing, Rockaway, Queens
Transit: pArTy FeRrY = CANCELLED due to inclement weather.
Take the 2 train to Flatbush, then a Q35 bus to Rockaway.

Drivers can park at Jacob Riis Beach for $10. Rides back to parking lot available. Q Train & B31 Bus are the way back home after.
Geordi LaForeskin & Just Abbie
Long Island Lunatics H3 An*l General Meeting
LIL #27
Start: Kings Park LIRR - Prelube at Main Street Pub, 21 Main St
Transit: 11:51 pArtY tRaIn from Penn to Kings Park, arriving 1:20pm. The mad cows will be reflecting on the past 12 months of LIL trails in the serene and creepy town of Kings Park. Bring shiggy socks, sunscreen, bug spray, dry clothes and wear your swimsuit on trail!
A Little Dirty, I Feel Tower & Coneylingus
LIL #26
Start: (and prelube): Sayville LIRR, Flatbush Pub, 361 Railroad Ave
Transit: 11:57 PaRty tRain leaving Penn Station, transfer at Babylon, arrive at 1:42.

Bring dry clothes and towel. You MUST RSVP to participate in the full trail. Contact a hare (amy.bittner2011@gmail.com) or better yet, join the Long Island Lunatics fb group and rsvp to the event: https://www.facebook.com/events/264658837034993/
Coffee Queefer & Spank the Plank
Mad Cows Turn 2!
LIL #25
Start: Long Beach. Prelube: Park Sports Bar & Grill, 20 W Park Ave, opposite the station.
Transit: 1:45pm LIRR PaRty tRaIn from Penn to Long Beach, arriving 2:42pm.

The on-in is outdoors so bring something warm to wear. 3-mile chicken option for those recovering from the Brooklyn Half and aftermath.
Pearl Necklace, Dogface & Baboon Ass
Doll Vag's Virgin Lay
LIL #24
Start: Oyster Bay LIRR
Transit: 2:25 PaRTy tRAiN from Penn to Oyster Bay, arriving 3:46pm.
The next train is 2 HOURS later, so don't be late!
Doll Vag
LIL #23
Start: Wantagh LIRR
Prelube: Corry's Alehouse, 3274 Railroad Ave
Transit: Take the 1:57pm pArtY TRaiN from Penn Station to Wantagh, arriving 2:53pm.
Condom Style
LIL #22
Start: Farmingdale LIRR Station
Transit: 4:12 PaRtY tRaIn from Penn Station, arriving in Farmingdale at 5:06
Spank The Plank
LIL #21
Start: Syosset LIRR station
Transit: PaRty tRaIN leaves Penn Station at 12:51pm, arriving in Syosset at 1:44pm.

DJ's Virgin Lay!
Drawn Johnson & A Little Dirty
LIL #20
Start: Seaford LIRR Station
Transit: ParTy TrAIn leaves Penn Station on the Babylon LIRR line at 12:57pm, arriving in Seaford at 1:56.

Coinciding with the holiday season, trail will be holiday themed. Come dressed in your best holiday gear. You want to be a Santa Claus or a creepy ass elf on the shelf, feel free. Ugly Christmas sweater? Sure! Good possibility of shiggy. Pre-Lube: [tentatively] Sunset Grill
Meatspin, Coffee Queefer, Just Danielle
LIL #19
Start: Hempstead LIRR Station
Transit: Take the 3:45 PaRty TrAiN from Penn Station to Hempstead, arriving at 4:37pm.

Prelube in the parking lot. Bring a headlamp, shiggy socks not required.
Kim Dong Dildo
2nd Anal Lunatics Zombie Hash!
LIL #18
Start: Massapequa LIRR station
Transit: 2:25pm ParTy TrAiN from Penn Station, arrives 3:26pm in Massapequa
(NOT Massapequa Park! Late-c*mmers grab the 2:55, arriving at 3:56.)

Prelube & Makeup from 3pm at Mugsy Magee's Bar, 24 Central Ave
Three in the Rear & Condom Style
LIL #17
Start: Oceanside LIRR Station
Transit: Take the 3:45 PArtY TrAiN from Penn Station to Oceanside, arriving at 4:31pm.

From the Hares : Please note that there is no LIRR service between Valley Stream & Longbeach. Expect LIRR bus Service from Valley Stream to Oceanside. Prelube? Maybe. If we find one, look for marks!
A Little Dirty,
& Spank the Plank
LIL #16
Start: Huntington LIRR Station
Transit: Take the 12:50 PaRty TrAiN from Penn to Huntington, arrive 1:55pm.

Bring: bathing suit, towel and bug spray. If you plan to attend, please join the Facebook event.
Coffee Queefer & Kim Dong Dildo
Long Island Lunatics Anal General Meeting!
LIL #15
Start: Main St Pub next to Kings Park LIRR station at HIGH NOON.
Transit: Meet FART at Penn Station for 10:22am LIRR pArTy tRaiN to Kings Park.

Expect an epic trail, 2 drink checks + give-aways.
Bring: bug spray, shiggy socks and dry bag.
I-Feel Tower & A Little Dirty
LIL #14
Start: Patchogue LIRR station
Transit: Take Babylon-bound PArTy TrAiN departing Penn Station @ 3:15 PM. Arrive Babylon @ 4:26PM & transfer to train to Sayville, which arrives Patchogue @ 4:56 pm.

We will have to carpool people back to the train station @ end of night or people are welcome to stay overnight at Bug Juice's apartment floor or sleep on the beach. Lol
Bug Juice & Kim Dong Dildo
Long Island Lunatics: First Analversary!
LIL #13
Start: 150 West Bay Dr, Long Beach
Transit: 1:45PM LIRR PArTy tRaiN from Penn Station to Long Beach (arrives 2:42). Walk 3 blocks west on W Park Ave. Take a right on Magnolia and walk 6 blocks north to the Long Beach Arena parking lot.
Note: Special Tshirts for sale in men's & women's.
Long Island Lunatics Committee
LIL #12
Start: Cold Spring Harbor Station
Transit: PaRtY TrAiN - From Penn Station Depart at 1:50 , arrive at Cold Spriong Harbor at 2:49 ; Depart from Jamaica Station at 2:12, arrive at Cold Spring Harbor at 2:49
Lazer Labia & Fort Orgy & Condom Style
LIL #11
Start: Babylon LIRR Station - Twisted Shamrock, 11 Railroad Ave, Babylon Village NY 11702 (accross from the Babylon station)
Transit: 3:15 PaRTy TrAiN from Penn Station arrives in Babylon at 4:12.

Pre-lube at Noon: 5th Annual Babylon Pub Crawl! http://www.babylonvillagepubcrawl.com/index.html
Note: A to A trail. Bring a head lamp and/or flashlight.
Bug Juice, Genghis Cunt & Chokes On Dick
LIL #10
Start: Oceanside Station (Oceanside, NY)
Transit: Meet at Penn Station at 3:30 to catch the 3:45 train to Oceanside on the Babylon Line

Feel free to bring beverages for the ride (it's a hr long ride)
Lazer Labia & Fort Orgy
The Mad Cows Invade Bethpage!
LIL #9
Start: Bethpage LIRR station (exit, cross the tracks and look for hashers in the parking lot on the other side of Stewart Ave)
Transit: 4:15 PArtY TrAin (towards Ronkonkoma) from Penn Station, arriving at 5:04.

Bring: Flashlight, ID & $20
Spank The Plank
LIL #8
Start: Westbury LIL RR Station
Transit: pArtY TRaiN instructions from Penn Station to Westbury: 3:25 arriving 4:05 or 4:25 arriving 5:05 pArtY TRaiN instructions from Brooklyn to Westbury: 3:12 (Atlantic Terminal), change at Jamaica, take the 3:46 to Westbury, arriving 4:05 or 4:12 (Atlantic Terminal), change at Jamaica, take the 4:46 to Westbury, arriving 5:05

Bring: Flashlights & warm clothes
Lazer Labia, Fort Orgy & Scott Foreman
LIL #7
Details about this hash were never recorded. Please update for the historical record.
Hares Needed
LIL #6
Details about this hash were never recorded. Please update for the historical record.
Hares Needed
LIL #5
Details about this hash were never recorded. Please update for the historical record.
Hares Needed
LIL #4
Details about this hash were never recorded. Please update for the historical record.
Hares Needed
Mad Cows Invade North Shore!
LIL #3
Start: Tavern On The Plaza, 4 The Plaza, Locust Valley NY
Transit: Take the 4:25 PM Long Island Railroad train from Penn Station; change at Jamaica to reach Locust Valley at 5:35 PM.
Walk NE on Elm Street.
Take a Right onto Birch Hill Road.
Take a Right onto The Plaza Arrive at the Tavern On The Plaza for the Pre-lube.
The walk to the Tavern is about 2/10 of a mile
I-Feel Tower & Lil? Dirty
LIL #2
Start: Rockville Centre LIRR Station Parking Lot
Transit: Take the 2:39 pm LIRR train from Penn Station arriving at 3:20pm.

Pre-lube: Cannon's Blackthorn at 49 North Village Ave.
Rafa & Captain Jack Swallows
Long Island Lunatics Inaugural Hash!
LIL #1
Start: 150 West Bay Dr. Long Beach NY
Transit: Take the 2:45PM LIRR Train to Long Beach from Penn Station. You will arrive at 3:42PM. Walk 3 blocks west on W Park Ave. Take a right onto Magnolia. Walk 6 blocks north to the check-in location. Google Maps Directions

There'll be Beer, Sand, Surf & Mad Cow Haberdashery in Abundance on this historical trail.
I-Feel Tower & Rafa


Grand Mattress
Kaptian Hooker
Religious Advisors
Patron Taint of the Willing Tongue
Teal Train to Pound Town
Shots for Tots
Ditch Sucker
Sir Gay
Kim Dong Dildo
Coffee Queefer
Grand Master Emeritus
I-Feel Tower
“Run With The Mad Cows!”
Dirty: reholz@hotmail.com
Tower: w.w.moore@mac.com

2013 Misman

A Little Dirty: Grand Mattress, Coffee Queefer: Religious Advisor, Meatspin: Religious Advisor, Condom Style: Fluffer, Spank The Plank: Trail Master, Bug Juice: Maven Of Mixology, FART: pArTy tRAIn Engineer

2012 Misman

I-Feel Tower: Grand Master, Lazer Labia: Religious Advisor, Fort Orgy: Religious Advisor, A Little Dirty: Fluffer, Spank The Plank: Trail Master, Bug Juice: Maven Of Mixology