Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers

Description

Founded by Wet Connection, Noah’s Dinghy and Mean Jean the Down-down Machine in January 2009 in response to the ever increasing need of NYC hashers to always have something to do.  Sadly, the Knickerbocker was laid to rest in May of 2012.

Then one fateful night in October of 2012, something rose from within the Knickerbocker, with a need so great it throbbed and pulsed.  That need was born out of having nothing better to do on a Wednesday night and a blatant disregard for the possibility of drinking at a bar without all the complicated mess of hashing to get there.  What A C*nt!, seeing that nobody else was going to take care of this problem, took it upon herself to raise that which had lain dormant.  Employing the help of a gay man, two hot chicks and Cheeky Bastard, she vowed to make whatever strokes necessary to keep it up until its climax in the spring.

The mismanagement of the Knick then became centered around the idea that Wednesday hashes should be simple and easy to get to (hello, downtown Manhattan!), and should employ the use of many songs and lots of bare butts.  The season culminates in the Knick’s only special event, the “Knickerbocker in your Knickers,” just for folks who’ve always dreamed about r*nning around Manhattan in their underwear.

Schedule

The Knickerbocker H3 runs every other Wednesday (alternating with the NAWW) during the winter months, from October to April.

To hare for the Knick, contact our Hare-raiser, What a C*nt!.

Receding Hareline (Next 30 Days)

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Date/Time Start / Transit Info Subway/LIRR/Metro North/Path Hare(s)
Wednesday
June 14
6:59 pm
Knick #173/NYCH3 #1999 - Prince-Themed Underwear R*n!
Knickerbocker #173
Start: See Deets on the NYCH3 #1999 Event below!		Mandatory Fun, Prairie Dog'n, Obamanatrix

Mis-Management 2019-20

Grand Master

Religious Advisors

  • Geordi La Foreskin
  • What a C*nt!
  • Foreign My Twat

Hare Raiser

  • What a C*nt!

Mis-Management 2018-19

Grand Master

Religious Advisors

  • Geordi La Foreskin
  • What a C*nt!
  • Drop a Pin, Slip it In

Hare Raiser

  • Metrosweatual

Past Mis-Management

2017-18

  • Mandatory Fun, Grand Master and Hare Raiser
  • Cosmopolitits, Grand Maitresse
  • Geordi La Foreskin, Religious Advisor
  • What a C*nt!, Religious Advisor

2016-17

  • Geordi La Foreskin, Grand Master
  • Cosmopolitits, Religious Advisor
  • Piece o’ Slut, Religious Advisor
  • Massive Load, Religious Advisor
  • Mandatory Fun, Hare Raiser
  • Krispy Kringle, Scribe
  • Young and the Wristless, Fluffer

2015-2016

  • Geordi La Foreskin, Grand Master
  • Mouth Full of Gu, Religious Advisor
  • Turd Dimension, Religious Advisor
  • Mandatory Fun, Hare Raiser
  • Krispy Kringle, Scribe
  • The Young and The Wristless, Fluffer

2014-2015

  • What A C*nt!, Grand Maitresse
  • Cheeky Bastard, Vice Master
  • Geordi La Foreskin, Religious Advisor
  • Mouth Full of Gu, Religious Advisor
  • Turd Dimension, Religious Advisor
  • Mandatory Fun, Hare Raiser

2013-2014

  • What A C*nt!, Grand Maîtresse
  • Cheeky Bastard, Vice Master
  • Irish Spring, Religious Advisor
  • One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, WHORE!, Religious Advisor
  • Mouth Full of Gu, Hare Raiser

2012-2013

  • What A C*nt!, Grand Maîtresse
  • Irish Spring, Religious Advisor
  • Cheeky Bastard, Religious Advisor
  • One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, WHORE!, Religious Advisor
  • She Likes it in the Benjamins, Hare Raiser

2009-2012

The JM trifecta
Wet Connection
Noah’s Dinghy
Mean Jean the Down-down Machine

Latest KH3 Writeups

Kh3 #93: Tales of the Knickerbocker H3

Dec 6, 2015

October 21, 2015 Writeup by Krispy Kringle Past, present and future met at the pre-lube at Emmons Tavern on October 21, 2015 as we celebrated Back to the Future Day. The trail was laid by Man-Doc Brown-Fun. It featured many check-backs, making it all a herky-jerky affair. But first we started off going in circles, ultimately managing our way west, south and then to the first drink check at the North end of Madison Square Park. Some brightly colored concoction was served in test tubes. We then staggered east from the park, then south, then west again. Mass confusion arose on Park Avenue. Super Dave managed to guide us to the second drink check at the South End of Madison Square Park. Spiked Gatorade welcomed our return. Faux Newspapers were distributed retelling some of the events from Back to the Future. Ultimately, we made it to the On-In, One Star. The trail ending up looking like this. In honor of the day, there were two Marty McFly’s on trail: Cosmo-Marty-McTits and Surprise-I’m Illiterate-Marty. There was also a Krispy Doc Brown. Various crimes were committed. Those responsible were held accountable: Geordi LaForeskin was the RA and doled out down-downs. Although there were virgins on trail; they escaped before receiving any abuse. The Hare was assisted by Surprise I’m Illiterate and Frank Lloyd Wrong. The latter did excellent work keeping a steady supply of suds flowing. Visitor, Foul Balls, was from San Francisco. And he had some prior NY Street Cred for taking on former Mayor Giuliani. Tech Use on trail was rampant, both Doggie Erectus and Cum Test Dummy were...

KH3 #92: Tales of the Knickerbocker H3

Oct 15, 2015

October 7, 2015 Writeup by Krispy Kringle And so a new season of the Knickerbocker H3 begins. Evening arrived with the promise of good times. Bonds were renewed and fellowships reforged as we gathered at Flight 151 at 18 Street and 8th Avenue. This tidy little establishment turned out to be the On-In as well. There was a sizable pack of about 30. What-a-Cunt directed us outside. And after a few words, we were off. South we ran. Then through the Village, migrating east to Washington Square Park. There we found the first Song Check. Skidmark led us in a chorus of “Roll Back Your Foreskin,” much to the delight of the park goers there. Then after some confusion, the trail headed south and then west. The pack was stretching out separating into little groups. When the trail reached the Hudson we headed north along the coast. Then east and up onto the Highline, that magical park in the sky. We darted past nervous pedestrians. Until we found a second song check. A fellow practicing his cello accompanied a few of us in the classical rendition of “Ten Toes Down.” We continued north, until a Chicken-Eagle split spawned. The chicken happily went east to the drink check and the On-In. The eagle went north. It exited the Highline to explore a small park which featured a running track and a false trail that circled it endlessly (a cruel trick by the Hare.) The trail then went west and back on to the Highline going north again. Finally exiting the HL and heading west to the river, turning south at...

KH3 #29 and 30 – Unamusing

Jan 22, 2011

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #29Wednesday 5 January 2011Start: 28th and 7thOn-In: Whiskey RiverHares: MILF n’ Cookies and Copa Cum Bloody Scribe: Mickey Mouth   Inspiration dumped me like Fresh Kills on a hot steamyday. No explanation, no note, not even a text. Typical, huh. Inspiration walkedout the door for a quick trip to pick up a pack a’ smokes and inspiration neverreturned. Ah well, a new year, a new start. This is a special double issuewrite-up because, well, I just told you. Inspiration left. It’s as empty as aparking lot after closing time…   So, let’s begin, Part 1: On 5 January, 2011, bundled uphashers converged on 28th and 7th for KH3 #29. MILF n’Cookies and Copa Cum Bloody were the stars of the show that night. They setthem off north. There were so many bags we needed two taxis. And both thehashers and the bags were off to Whiskey River on 30th-ish andsecond. The run was good. The bar was good. The beer was good.Urg. That’s the best I got? What is wrong with me. No joke? No Pun? Urg.   My notes. My notes too are a mess. And I wasn’t evendrinking! Here are some quotes: “Should I go take a piss now?” said Punk Ass Bitch. Isthat funny? What is funny about that? “You’re not a mistress if you’re not married,“ saidNicole. Now that is kinda funny. There are some notes about flimflam and that MF can’tplay the bugle. I don’t understand that one.   There was a whole story about how Pimpy Long Stockings,Cheeky Bastard and Fireman Tim all “took a short cut” through Chelsea....

KH3 #28 Showtime! at the Hash-pollo!

Dec 28, 2010

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #28 Wednesday 22 December 2010 Start: 20th and 3rd Avenue On-In: Lolita Hares: Barf-fly and Just Josh Scribe: Mickey Mouth   Showtime! At the Hash-pollo! “Just Peter, I wonder if this will really be as good as they say?” “Leggs Lesley, who knows, probably hit or miss.” They sit down in 4th row orchestra seats, right in time for…. “Hello, Harlem! I’m your host Mickey Mouth and it’s Showtime at the Hash-pollo! (wild applause). Tonight, well, like every Wednesday night, you will see incredible performers and lousy hams. Clever jokesters and atonal divas. Are you ready? (applause). I SAID, are you ready? (wild applause!). Great! Before we start the real show, we like to encourage the youngsters out there to dream big. So, let me make this clear, there is no booing for this boy. You will have plenty of chance for that later, believe me. So put your hands together for Speedo Gonzales!” Speedo G. dressed in an oversized suit, fidgeting with his clip-on tie and shuffling his feet, walks out hesitantly. “Don’t be shy, Speedo, come on. Audience, help him out here!” (more applause)   “Hel-lo, I will be singing you a theme song from old-time classic TV. The Brady Bunch. Here’s a story, of a birthday Barf-fly, who tweeted from 5 bars in a row. She had to set hash, and sort the bar out. Could she do it? Well, we just don’t know. Here’s the story, of newbie Just Josh. Who is he? I haven’t a clues. But he was going to set trail, and man a drink check, Or were...

KH3 #27 Inside the Hash’s Studio

Dec 17, 2010

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #27 Wednesday 8 December 2010 Start: 68th and Broadway On-In: PG Bar Hares: No Comma and Wet Willy Scribe: Mickey Mouth   Inside the Hash’s Studio “Tonight’s guest has won a Shiggy Award for Best Hash on Every Other Wednesday in Winter. He’s a member of the New York City Hash House Harriers. He and his management team have received countless praises from hashers around the world. He also won a special once in a lifetime Booker Prize for Outstanding Writeups. This of course is only a partial list of his achievements, The Hash’s Studio is very proud to welcome Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers.” (wild applause. KH3  saunters out, gives the audience a wink and a salute.) “So, Mickey Mouth, we met again! Didn’t I just talk to you two weeks ago?” Blushing, “Yes, Knick. James Lipton came down with a terrible flu and I was asked to step in. But I am so pleased that it’s you.” “yeah, I am glad to see you again!” “Great, let’s begin. Usually, Mr. Lipton talks a lot about the childhood and past performances of the guest. But I feel we covered much of that last time, so I wanted to talk about your most recent performance, No Comma’s Birthday Hash. Many of the critics panned it, with colorful phrases like “the bar couldn’t have been louder if I was stuck inside of a jet-vol-ren. A jet plane stuck inside of a volcano inside of an ambulance siren.” Or “I got more dark beer at a bud light convention than I was able to get at this hash.”  ...

KH3 #26 – Fresh Hare!

Nov 27, 2010

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #26 Wednesday 24 November 2010 Start: Patriot’s Bar On-In: Milano’s Bar Hares: Fluffy and Headlights Scribe: Mickey Mouth   Brought to you by NYC hashes, this is Fresh Hare! I’m your host, Mickey Mouth, sitting in for Terry Gross. Start film clip: We gots some real muffinheads on the hash because more than once I heard the question ‘Where is the Beer?’ It’s at the bar people! The bar!!” shouts Noah’s Dinghy. “Or, come over here cause I’m pissing beer!” gibes Headlights. “Did you come from heaven?” whispers Just Matt with lusty reverence. Film clip end Today, listeners, I am uniquely honored to be interviewing Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers. That was a clip from his latest movie, “Orphan’s Run.” Yes, The KH3. Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers, welcome to Fresh Hare.” “Thank you Mouth, this is an honor for me. I am a big fan of yours.” Audibly blushing, “Thank you so much. You are known, like many great actors, by your full name, Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers. How would you like me to address you?” “Well, Mouth, you can undress me any way you..oh wait, you mean ADdress. Sure, just call me Knick.” “Haha, great. Knick, how to did start your career? How did you begin?” “Mouth, just three years ago, I was born out of great minds – Wet Connection, Mean Jean the Down Down Machine and Noah’s Dinghy. Did you know that Athena was born from Zeus’ brain?” “Yes, I did. But he was trying to hide the fact that he cheated on Hera once again…Ok, um, three human years but you are...
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