Brooklyn Hash House Harriers
Run # 422 / August 18 2008
Hares: D’Stink and Laurel, unably assisted by FMIG
On In: Cherry Tree Tavern
Scribe: Joe Pennsylvania
Rumor had it that the Brooklyn hash was growing by leaps and bounds. My instincts found it hard to believe that an outerborough hash could be so successful, given that the old Queens hash used to regularly draw 3 or so hashers to its trails. So yours truly, a Manhattanite, ventured into Billyburg to the corner of Lorimer Street and Metropolitan Avenue to see in person what all the buzz was about.
Arriving a bit early at approximately 6:50PM due to some fortunate train connections, there were already a handful of hashers waiting on the northeast corner of the block. With them was an enterprising young reporter from the renowned publication, The Staten Island Advance, named Jodi. Jodi was already grilling Headlights with general questions about the hash, with Headlights answering away and Jodi feverishly taking notes. Shortly thereafter, Jodi’s photographer, Tom showed up and started snapping some pictures of the beautiful crowd gathered in Brooklyn on this fine Monday night.
The masses kept coming and coming. It appears as if some horny young virgin lads looking for a piece of action read the recent story about the hash in Time Out titled "Get Buzzed, Buffed and Laid" and decided to see what it is all about. In all, we had about 35 or so hashers on that corner of Lorimer and Metropolitan, indeed an impressive turnout.
After chalk talk to the virgins, Virgin Hare D’Stink noted to the rest of us that the trail was between 3.5 and 4.0 miles, which as the pack would discover within the hour was a big fib. One thing that she did not note was that she set part of the trail in dark purple chalk that would be almost invisible at twilight. Virgin Hare D’Stink set the pack of 35, including our virgin reporter Jodi with Headlights joined at the hip, off heading south on Lorimer Street. The time was 7:21PM.
The trail pretty much led south, through some projects and questionable neighborhoods with some easy checks, until the trail setting bastards led us into a huge circle jerk around a National Guard Center somewhere in Brooklyn where Hasidim live. It took us a few minutes to solve this impediment and then we were off again, heading through Crown Heights, through the Pratt Institute, into Fort Greene Park, where Tom the photographer was snapping pictures, by the Williamsburgh Savings Bank building (or whatever it is called these days), then eventually over to Fourth Avenue and into the Cherry Tree Tavern. Five solid miles of trail (4.7 on Eager 4 Beaver’s wrist based GPS device, but he did not run around the big circle jerk). The time was 8:14PM.
The BH3 bills themselves as the better beer hash, and indeed the Tree did not disappoint. The Tree had some nice beer option specials included in the deal for the hash, including an IPA, an organic concoction, and some wheat beer with fruit in it or something like that. I amply sampled the IPA and then moved to the organic brew. Jodi, the Advance reporter, also seemed to amply sample the beverages. There was talking and milling and chatting, and then came the ceremony.
FMIG and the Saint called the crowd to order. Down downs were first administered to the hares, D’Stink, Laurel, and their supposed adult supervisor, FMIG. Laurel remained up there and was awarded a bonus down down for throwing watermelon at fellow hashers. The ample pack of virgins was called up – the Time Out article made most of them come. Included in the pack of virgins were Tom and Jodi. Just Allison was called up for a down down for some dumb FMIG reason. YankIt was awarded a down down for setting a trail years ago in blue chalk. Yep, as you can imagine, the circle and social order was breaking down quickly. There were nominations, Riding Big Jake nominated Just Dana in a random abuse of power. Eager 4 Beaver was called up for some unknown reason. The Saint for wearing his hat in the circle. Blackout tried to nominate me for some reason, probably shouting on trail, but at this time social order did indeed fail and the circle was mercifully adjourned without further down downs.
Pizza came. Not sure if the virgins got buzzed, buffed or laid, but it seemed like they were enjoying themselves. Jodi eventually stumbled out of the Cherry Tree. Last to leave was Blackout, FMIG and yours truly. The time was 10:45PM.
On out, team!