NYCH # 1078,
Hares: Speedy Gary and Dr Steve
Start: 96th & Fifth
On-In: 96th & Fifth
On On In: The Back Page, 83rd &
Scribe: Mean Jean
Fear and Loathing on the
We were somewhere around 96th street on the edge of the park when the Kaluha-laced coffee began to take hold. I remember saying something like, “I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should stir the strip-and-go-naked.” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the street was full of what looked like skinny people, all swooping and screeching and diving around the orange Gatorade cooler, which was going about 100 miles an hour with its top off to the 23rd Mile. And a voice was screaming: “Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn runners?”….
…. Hash Cash Peter had given me $200 in cash, most of which was already spent on extremely dangerous alcohol. The bench next to the park looked like a mobile police raid in support of the open container laws. We had 84 cans of beer, 2 large containers of Starbucks laced with Kaluha and Baileys, one giant orange cooler of Strip-and-Go-Naked, one flask of bourbon that John Haldi didn’t think I saw and one giant black foot…
… “Man this is the way to watch a marathon,” said my attorney.
Hunter S. Thompson. A classic. And what better way to describe the events of
Check that, start for me. I was late and hares Dr Steve and Speedy Gary had already sent off the hearty pack of 25. The trail, I’m told, went north and east and was not unpleasant given the confines dictated by police and their barricades. I joined the pack at the “boozey coffee” check at 96th
Hardy was naturally the first one through, easily batting away the challenge of brash Fast American Dave who was down for the same time. A few coarse fingers gestures later and Hardy was gone in the blink of eye. Dave was next and looked, well, frankly he looked like he’d just run 23 miles in the heat (go figure!). He took his down down happily and Devo got him going again kind of the way your dad used to push the back of your bike real hard when you were learning to ride. Marie Wickham, Rich Kammerer, Melanie Ashmore, and a few other fasties sped by and things became a bit of a blur as the strip-and-go-nakeds began to take hold right outside of
It was bout this time we noticed that the strip-and-go-naked had run out as Cockstar stood by with a suspiciously full 16-oz cup of the elixir. We also found ourselves spilling our guts to a
Back on the marathon trail, Offensive Discharge all the way from
It was about this time that we noticed the beer had run out. As I had been in charge of organizing all the morning’s supplies, I quickly decided to get the hell out of Dodge before mutiny ensued. Er, I also appreciated the fact that there was in fact beer at Back Page (momma didn’t raise no fool). Mickey Mouth and I made our traditional trek east and south carrying the big orange cooler. The Back Page filled up pretty quickly and we were in full swing by about with the marathoners trickling in. Too Long got the circle going early and we started with the morning’s hares, Dr Steve and Speedy Gary. Marathoners were next: Hardy, Fast American Dave, HUA, blondie girl (Randilass?), Muffalotta, Offensive Discharge. Next up were HUA and Cockstar; HUA had copycatted Cockstar’s hair from last year’s marathon which had in fact earned her her hashname. V & Vs were next but I didn’t get every one’s name except for the newest Devo-tee, Caroline. Fast American Dave was up again (according to the pics on the website) but damned if I know what for. I do remember John Haldi’s naming though; for providing Cockstar with the Pocket Rocket mini vibrator at the Red Dress pub crawl and presuming he needed help with the ladies, we named him, Flacido Domingo. Seth was next up (once again according the website pics) but again, I’m stumped. Patrick appears in the next shot in the slideshow and while I can’t say for sure I’m going to suggest it had to do with the fact that for the first time ever, the beer and bagels ran out this year, the first year he was in attendance. Coincidence? I don’t think so. There’s also a pic of a visitor couple with the girl performing fully clothed fellatio in the circle. Nice.
Marathoners showed up throughout the night for their down downs, including last year’s star of the show, Swedish Big Brother who presented JM Too Long with another funky hash tshirt, and of course, Crazy Bob. The pocket rocket saw a lot of action as it bounced from beer cup to beer cup and I can only assume it found a good and loving home at the end of the evening. Food was plentiful for a change but, as was the theme for the day, hash cash was hanging on by a thread as I played a cat-and-mouse game with bartender Rich to milk out a few extra pitchers, but I think in the end we eked hash cash til a respectable 7PM though the room was still pretty full on. But my attorney advised me to take my leave and off I went with a big orange cooler in one hand and a giant black foot in the other (alas, not attached to anyone).
I was just outside of