BH3 #588, AGM
October 10, 2011
Start: Mission Dolores
On-In: Mission Dolores
Hares: Headlights & Noah’s Dinghy
Scribe: Drippy Sac
On a mild Monday evening, a veritable bevy of hashers gathered in the late afternoon to celebrate the arrival of foreign explorers. Indeed, word of the celebration had spread so far and wide that the government powers-that-be – when not monitoring those seeking to Occupy Wall Street – had even cancelled mail service and let several fortunate natives forgo their usual working responsibilities.
Unbeknownst to the wide-eyed natives, these explorers were in fact, a rag-tag group of hoodlums, derelicts and shysters who, with stars in their eyes and sweet ambrosia on their lips, promised to share riches and glory with the natives who greeted them with open arms. In truth though, the newcomers had but deceitful and devious thoughts in mind; and using words of trickery and cunning, were even able to convince some unwitting natives to turn against their former friends.
Now faithful reader, you might think that I refer to Christopher Columbus landing in the New World some five hundred years ago to steal North America from the natives, raping and pillaging along the way. But no… You’d be wrong… what Columbus did cannot even compare to the depths of depravity to be committed by the 2011-2012 Brooklyn Hash House Harriers Committee!
How bad could it get you may ask? How much worse could the new Committee be compared to the previous Committee? Well, let’s put it this way. The old Committee gave the new Committee engraved glass beer mugs. So sweet. On the new Committee, there’s a special position called Trailmaster. The Trailmaster’s responsibility is to ostensibly help novice hares set trail as well as provide constructive criticism to non-novice hares on their 15th or 16th trail. And who is this special Trailmaster? It’s Barnacle. So now the hash gets to listen to Barnacle “officially” bitch and moan about every trail. Really? Because he didn’t already complain enough? BH3 – you’ve been warned.
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming…
Down-downs were awarded to the following:
Headlights & Noah’s Dinghy for setting a final shitty trail as out-going JMs
US Marine Whore for haring the pub crawl on Saturday night
Dogface: for shortcutting trail in an effort be the FRB and hog beer
Ding: for going mano-a-mano with a mini-van (the fact that Ding’s down-down was taken by Porno Putz should not suggest that Ding lost his duel with a motorized vehicle)
Skidmark: for directing traffic around Ding’s duel in the middle of the road
The Saint: for picking a fight with a pack of smokers (though the Saint left early, probably to go have a smoke) so FMIG was “coerced” into taking the down-down
Trader Blows: for stopping to talk to a motorist while checking
Technically Foul: for being accosted by a God-fearing man
Barnacle: for trying to be polite, telling civilians that he was passing them
Headlights and Just Joe: for getting engaged
Fluffy: for one-upping Headlights and Just Joe and getting married
Cheers to the 2010-2011 Committee:
JMs: Headlights and Noah’s Dinghy
RA: Technically Foul
Haberdashers: Barnacle and Eager 4 Beaver
Hare Raisers: Blackout and Trader Blows
On Sex(s): Canine Fixation and Death Breast
Welcome to the 2011-2012 Committee – Don’t fuck things up:
JM: Noah’s Dinghy and Technically Foul
Haberdashers: Eager 4 Beaver and Speedo Gonzalez
Hare Raisers: Just Nicole and US Marine Whore
On Sex(s): Cheeky Bastard and Drippy Sac
Kitty Keeper: Headlights
One last story from the evening: while we were toasting the outgoing Committee, Cheeky Bastard said to no one in particular “Since Canine Fixation isn’t here, we should get someone to take a down-down in his place. Too bad there aren’t any other Asians here.” AND I WAS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM! Really? Usually people complain that all Asians look alike… now Cheeky thinks that I look like all other white people? This is what I have to work with for the next year?
And with that…