NYCH3 #1426 Dusters Hash

Wednesday, May 11, 2011, 7PM

NYCH3 #1426 Dusters Hash

Start: 23rd Street & Broadway

On-In: Ace, 5th Street between Ave A & Ave B

Hares: The Hudson Dusters

Scribe: Lazer Labia

When describing the hash to all of the potential hashers I know, I always say that we are a “drinking club with a r*nning problem.  I make it clear to them that the emphasis is on the drinking, camaraderie, debauchery, etc. and that the r*nning is just a means to an end.  I ALWAYS tell them that the hash is a run, not a race.  The hash is not a r@ce.  The hash is not a r@ce.  I found myself repeating this tonight trying to convince myself that I was not, in fact, running a r@ce.  I must have been confused by the hares saying that tonight’s hash was a race (winner takes, well, nothing) and by all my fellow hashers’ conduct.

A gun must have fired somewhere because we all took off after setting our Garmins.  The trail went quickly since we were all r*nning our hearts out, even Copa who is r*nning a marathon this weekend (good luck!).  We arrived at a much appreciated beer check, the site of a later accusation, before heading off again.  When we showed up to the On-In we were carded (well, most of us) and spent the rest of the night pissing off the bouncer.  We gave out well deserved Down-Downs to the following hashers:

The Hares: Trips & Balls and Tim

Virgins: Just Jenna, Just Rob, Just Nicole, Just Liara

Just Jenna was in shock when we sang her “B-I-M-B-O” for only bringing $17 to trail and then being unwilling to take $3 from a friendly hasher because she “can’t take money from strangers”.  I guess we made a good first impression on this virgin, will we get a second date?

Fast American Dave for forgetting that tonight was not a r@ce and falsely accusing someone of leaving the drink check early, fearing that he would lose his lead (we won’t mention that he took the chicken split… oh, wait, I just did)

Crawlaholic for being the responsible hasher yelling “Don’t die for the Hash” to those darting in front of oncoming cars only to have her warning repeated to her as she was almost hit doing the same

Pimpy Long Stocking for showing up to trail in tight girl jeans, in fact, I think I own the same pair

Ding for having sexual conquests that are too few and far between, and, no, not a single Harriette offered to help him with his problem

Laura, a member of the Hudson Dusters, for showing up to hash wearing a Prospect Park Track Club T-shirt

Trips & Balls and Tim for failing to mark “chain” on trail as we took a left turn straight into a chain which Craig and Red headed Steve tripped over

Just Nadia, a kind of virgin not listed above since she failed to find “A”, for stumbling across the trail marks on her evening run and following them all the way to the bar.  She’s a hasher through and through!

Birthdays: Ahoy the Wanker, belated, but he was bitching that he didn’t get recognized earlier so we recognized him now, and Dave Too Long

Red Headed Steve got A$$hole of the week for running through a crowd of 10 people, doing their own form of club sport, minding their own business, and ruining their night.  He too was in a hurry to “win” the hash tonight.  Way to make us some new friends, wanker!

Those who tried to “win” the hash tonight got the same reward as those who did not, beer and pizza. The On-In, Ace Bar, had great beer and even better company, but may have ended prematurely (I’m noticing a premature trend ever since Pimpy took over as JM) due to the lack of food.  It was well said by PAB, “Five pizzas works if Jesus is hashing, but we all know he can’t”.

The anger over this write-up will have subsided by the next time I see you wanks, so enjoy! I’ll miss you too!