BH3 #562

BH3 #562

Start: Lorimer L stop

On-In: Wreck Room

Hares: Ding! and Canine Fixation

Let’s talk about expectations for a second. The word comes from the Latin exspecto, exspectare, which means “to look forward to” or “to wait for”. Certainly, we all are guilty of looking forward to the hash, and we all patiently wait for a few basic things: developments on trail, servings at the bar, circle to proceed with lively renditions of hash carols.

And so, seeing that a live trail was promised, I had an expectation of my own: that the trail would be relatively short – perhaps four miles? With this in mind, I ran from home to the start, a fair eight miles, mainly along Bedford Ave. I arrived at the start just in time to see the hares take off on their head start. The pack restlessly waited out the five minutes, and then took off after them.

Unfortunately, we lost precious time at a couple of early checks, playing into their hands too easily. We journeyed near to the waterfront, made a couple turns, and then…a drink check? Yes, there they were – not the hares, but Drippy Sac and MILF & Cookies serving margarita Jello shots and “special” Gatorade, while Facial Discrimination and Porno Putz looked on. After partaking, we continued on our way, but a long way it was – all told, the trail fell somewhere between 6.5 and 7 miles. Now, for those of you keeping score at home, that makes for about 15 miles of running all told for this hashiographer, which, to be frank, makes for one tired Bastard, no matter how Cheeky.

At last, however, the on-in was reached. We started getting settled in, and, after it served a turn as a changing room, the secluded, mirrored-and-muraled, kinda strange back room became the place to which we were called to circle by an animated Noah’s Dingy. And we proceeded to make those listed here drink it down down…:

– our hares, Ding! and Canine Fixation

– our visitor, False Advertising from the White House Hash

– Barnacle, who caught the hares – but didn’t pants them. Perhaps his expectations caused him some PERFORMANCE ANXIETY? (emphasis attributable to Headlights)

– Canine Fixation, for abandoning his fellow hare with a timely burst of speed, since he expected they would be caught (and subsequently Ding!, for when one hare drinks…)

– Nads on Film, who almost, but not quite, caught the hares

– Facial Discrimination, for having the dress of someone expecting the hash to be an audition for the Bachelor, was awarded a random abuse of power down-down, which he bestowed upon Pussy in Boots

– Cheeky Bastard and Rack N’ Roll Her, who complained the trail was “too long”; and that (I, Cheeky) “hit the wall” (man, expectations can be a bitch…)

– Canine Fixation, since he doesn’t know the difference between a back check and a YBF (and Ding!, for when one hare drinks…)

– Nicole, for being DFL, and allegedly muttering “it was my anger that got me through that one”


– Facial Discrimination called out Rack N’ Roll Her, who asked at the start if E4B’s shirt, which featured the numerals 42.195, was a marathon in Japanese. (Note: E4B’s bucked our expectations of him by showing up just before the head start of the hares was up)

– Nads on Film called on Canine Fixation for making use of a pair of “new” (to hashing) shoes, and Ding! and Canine Fixation gamely took their punishment, with one shoe/down-down per hare

Thwarting expectations, the hares provided riceballs as a source of post-trail nourishment (with an escarole and white bean option for the vegan-folk), supplemented by conchas, a.k.a. Mexican sweet bread. I can’t remember for certain if hash cash ever ran out or not, which means, in the end, my expectations were served just fine, thanks.


Cheeky Bastard