Start: Eastern Parkway & Franklin Ave
On-In: Boat, 175 Smith St (btw Warren & Wyckoff St)
Hares: Barnacle & Pimpy Longstocking
Scribe: Just Katie
The hash got off on a tardy foot as most runners arrived late to the start due to an accident deep in the bowels of the MTA system – more specifically, at Nevins Street – that shut down the 2/3 train for several hours [note: a quick internet search clarified the truth among the various rumors circulating: a man crossing between two cars in a 2 train that was traveling between Nevins and Atlantic fell in the gap and was killed]. With a brisk wind whipping down Eastern Parkway to match this chilling news, the pack had plenty of time to cool off before the start of a live trail set by our two hares – and yet, despite the delay, some people still didn't manage to make it to the start before we set out (more on that later). As we waited, we were told of the glories that awaited us at Valhalla – er, the On-In – which allegedly ranked among the top 3 Brooklyn On-In locations in 2010. Incidentally, Barnacle was hare'ing that time too…
After giving our hares the requested three minutes' lead, we were off on an "under four mile" trail. Wise fools we were to trust these hares: after a jaunt down Washington Ave, an (apparently unintended) cut across Prospect Park, some zigzagging through southern Park Slope, a Gowanus crossing and a snake up through the main drags of Carroll Gardens, we clocked between 5.1 and 6.1 miles to reach our destination, Boat Bar. The hares were eager to tell anyone who would listen about how they got waylaid by some skeptical police officers, Headlights was eager to show off her chiweenie, and the pack was eager to imbibe some of this great beer we had been promised at the start. In due time we circled up and down-downs were awarded:
– Our hares Barnacle & Pimpy Longstocking: for
1) setting a live trail
2) getting lost on their own trail (we're in the park?) and
3) getting stopped near the end of the trail and questioned by the police who wanted to know what they were doing marking "BVVVN" in white chalk on the sidewalk… a reasonable question
– Just Nicole: for getting the bar wrong and bringing all the bags to Kamp, the bar two doors down from Boat. Close, but not quite…
– Blackout & Screaming O: for showing up late to the start because they were on a date. Come on, the Valentine's day hash was two weeks ago.
– Smashmouth & Dogface: for showing up late as well… because they were on a date
– Splat: for being too cheap to get a cab himself after helping Nicole load all the bags into a taxi, and subsequently walking to the on-in from the start
– Canine Fixation: for again marking checks with entirely unhelpful question marks. Type A-Hole proceeded to regale us with a lovely solo for this down-down that went a little something like this: "Oh it's not too long and it's not too thick, it gets hard too slow and it comes too quick, it gets lost in a woman's twat but it's all he's got, it's a small small dick… It's a small dick after all…" etc
And on that high note, the circle ended, more beer was consumed, and good times were presumably had by all. On out.