KH3 23 In 1980

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #24
Wednesday 27 October 2010
Start: The Cube at Astor Place
On-In: Plug Uglies
Hares: Just Peter
Scribe: Mickey Mouth


In 2010, Just Peter turned 30 and hared the Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #24.

In 1980, Just Peter was shoved out of his mother’s womb. Also kicked out of the womb in 1980 were Mccauley Caulkin, Kim Kardashian, Ryan Gosling, Christina Ricci, Alicia Keys and a host of other people that I also have no idea about. Sometimes the hash is filled with people I don’t know, but not so much the KH3.

In 1980, on the island of Vanuatu, John Frum’s cargo cult declared secession as the nation of Tafea. Just as lost and crazy as that sounds, was Mean Jean’s face when she walked up to the hash. Her thoughts? please please please please please let there be people I know here please please please.  

In 1980, Richard Pryor was badly burned trying to freebase cocaine. Just like Mr. Pryor, Peter’s trail went up in smoke. There was rain, but this young man was adamant – I only use chalk!! He stomped and sputtered. Ah, youth and their folly. But a good hasher stepped up in his cape and large P on his chest and proclaimed! “never fear! Penn Joe is here!” and set a live-ish trail.

In 1980, Rosie Ruiz won the Boston Marathon, only to be exposed as a fraud and stripped of her award. The On-in was Plug Uglies. Plug Uglies is not a New York gang as is popularly thought, but a Baltimore gang in the mid-1800’s. It is also not a good place to have an on-in. At least, I feel confident in saying that since hash cash was gone by 9. The margin of error in my confidence lies in people (can’t be real hashers) not paying for what they consume. Beer and food $20! Pay your hare!

In 1980, Pac-Man, the best selling arcade game, was released. I spent hours of fun with Pac-Man in arcades (arcades were stores full of arcade games that cost a quarter). The hash is also hours of fun. A little run, lots of booze and some interesting people.

In 1980, Azaria Chamberlain disappeared from a campsite in Ayers Rock, reportedly taken by a dingo. Oddly enough, this came up in a scintillating conversation I was having with Finger F*cked and J. Monkey that also included a baby eaten by a boa and a baby attacked by a pitbull.   

In 1980, the Gang of Four trail began in China. China was a very scary place. It is also scary sometimes in the circle because you have to drink Bud Light. Peter, Penn Joe and someone else were called a few times for : haring and birthday. Poor Penn Joe was called back again because Lexi’s Bitch caught the live hair but Penn Joe proclaimed that he was not clad in underwear and he had not shaved his butt hair in a week.

In 1980, The Empire Strikes Back was released. Bartos (beer goggles?) was wearing new shoes. When Noah’s Dinghy poured beer into them, it ran out like a sieve. The look on Bartos’ (Bartoses? Bartosts?) face was one of pure glee. But Noah’s Dinghy didn’t get to be Joint Master because of his stud qualities. OK, not ONLY because of his stud qualities. He’s gots some sharpened tools in there them shed and said (ala Han Solo) “Laugh it up, Fuzzball”. He made Bartos get on his knees (I will pause here because I know  some harriettes really enjoyed this part)….and ran the beer-like substance through the shoe, into his mouth.

In 1980, the Member’s Only jacket was the height of fashion. Not quite Member’s Only status but close were black socks worn my Donar Kabob and some chick.

In 1980, McDonald’s introduced Chicken McNuggets. As disgusting as McDonald’s “food” is, it is not as disgusting as seeing Donar Kabob’s ass crack as he bent down to show off his black socks.

In 1980, Bon Scott of AC/DC died. The official cause was listed as “acute alcohol poisoning” and “Death by Misadventure”. It would be terrible to end the hash with the former, but not so much the latter. Punk Ass Bitch, having to take a Metronorth train home after the hash, would be a likely candidate for either.  

In 1980, the top five songs were: Call Me, Another Brick in the Wall, Magic, Rock With You, and Do That To Me One More Time. Those songs are classic and I still shake my booty when they come on the radio. Just as those songs are timeless, so is wearing hash shirts to a hash. Otherwise, how do we know you are hashers?

In 1980, Voyager 1 probe confirmed the existence of Janus, a moon of Saturn. Just as cool and out of the world, is the Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers.  

In a final note, in 1980, John Lennon was shot down in front of the Dakota.

And now back in 2010, this is Mickey Mouth, signing off.

“She’s Always Write!”