Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Start: 23rd and 8th
On-In: No Idea
Hares: Ow My Balls & Finger F**cked (2 years!)
It’s hard to believe that Finger F**ked & Ow My Balls have been with us for two whole years. Especially after we ran that trail, but I’m getting ahead of myself. To celebrate their anniversary, the hares assembled the pack at 8th Avenue & 23rd Street in scenic Chelsea. It was a hot, humid day, & all of New York was schwitzing. Thus, the pack itself was not terribly scenic. The only relief was the sweat off of someone’s air conditioner five stories up. The hares pointed to the East, & the pack was off. Trail wound around the High Line, but the pack did not get high. Instead it went out to the Hudson, which at that point was indistinguishable from the air we were breathing. Turning back inland, the pack found a stirring message. Mark’s love for girlfriend Tanis was so strong that he was compelled to declare it to the whole pack. Karen & Rob were spotted stopping on trail for a PBR. Who could blame them? Me, that’s who. Scribes get thirsty too you know. Next time, buy me one, & I’ll write about how rich & sexy you are. Trail wound north through Midtown, back down to Herald Square. After a brisk swim down Broadway, the drenched pack (or should I say school, as in fish?) arrived at the On In. Where? No Idea. (OK, that’s my obligatory joke about the name of the bar.)
The school was desperate to replace all of the precious bodily fluids they lost on trail, & No Idea took care of us. Ow My Balls was enthusiastically reminding the school to pay hash cash. Refreshed & slightly drier, Fire in the Piehole & Fast American Dave brought the school to order. The hares were busy filling pitchers of beer every five seconds, so first up were the visitors. We had White Trash from Kansas City, Yogi Bra, Dunkin Hinds, Smell This, and Just Prakash all the way from Mumbai, India. The hares were finally dragged away from the bar to receive their just desserts. Pop quiz: how long has Ow My Balls been hashing? If you were paying attention at the start, you would of course know the answer is two years. Mean Jean apparently has not been paying attention the whole time as she proved to be unable to distinguish Ow My Balls from Splat. She received the B-I-M-B-O award. Our virgins Geraldine, Antonio & Kristina were welcomed to the school in the traditional fashion. Nicole received a stern chastisement for attempting to pay hash cash with 20 Chinese yuan. Tanis received a down-down because she is so loved. All the school could say to that was that they ought to be publicly pissed on. The school wished all the best to Njoki who is leaving for the New Haven H3. Apparently she’s going to some college or other up there. Our Asshole of the week was George who collided with a bicycle on trail. Hey, it’s hard to see underwater. The school dissolved into a feeding frenzy to prepare for the long swim home.