NYCH3 #1350


December 6, 2009

Start location: The Strand (12th Street & B’way)

Hares: G.Dick and Gabe the Babe

On In:  Jay Bar, (Jay St in DUMBO)

Scribe: Just Holly  


How does a newbie get roped into the roll of scribe?  Had it simply been earlier in the evening (read: less alcohol consumed) I would have had more scruples about the task at hand and followed the age old adage “Just Say No”.  Alas, I reluctantly obliged as all virgins about to be deflowered are prone to do.

It was a brisk day perfect for a r*n and our fearless hares advised us of a modest trail “just over 4miles.”  


At the start G.Dick provided insight as to how we came to be in front of NYC’s beloved Strand Book Store.  Generally it came down to the fact that G.Dick likes picture books.  This, of course, left me puzzled, and wondering what kind of picture books a fella with the name Gee Your Dick Smells Terrific might like to view.  Hmmm, this was indeed food for thought,…..which brings me to our trail which was headed due West on 12th St……A Food Lovers Dream (aka Ginger Steve’s nightmare).  


Our first check was directly in front of Magnolia Bakery, where a queue had already formed, wrapping around W. 11th St. nearly masking our checkpoint.  With Fast American Dave and Junky Monkey already “checking” I did the math concluding there was no time to indulge in cupcakes and banana pudding (pout).   


We breezed past other  notable food mentions as follows: Babbo, some fantastic food trucks – including one for a great cannoli in Little Italy, and some Chinatown greats like Excellent Pork Chop House (stupid redundant name….is there anything but an excellent pork chop?) and Apotheke on Doyers Street, to name just a few.  


There was some further confusion around City Hall where our trail came to a stop (not quite a check, but it was unclear which direction we were to head), we soon realized the direction was Brooklyn Bridge.  EEEK….Dumbo here we come?!  


Down Downs were administered, as follows:  


1)      To the hares: G.Dick and Gabe the Babe

2)      Fast American Dave: For aid in the collection of cash for the hash

3)      Visitors: Booty Call (again?)

4)      Ginger Steve, Basia and Bill: For being victims to the cold requiring “group hugs”

5)      Roy: Missed the check on Brooklyn Bridge

6)      Ewa: New shoes

7)      Birthdays: Death Breast and Booty Call  


As appointed scribe for the trail, I shall take this opportunity to editorialize and provide some note-worthy additions to the Down Downs.  


1)      Trader Blows: For being a self proclaimed “Big Deal." He indicated he was being ironic, but I’m still unconvinced.  There’s no irony in channeling Ron Burgundy.

2)      Virgin”ish” David: insisted the trail ended “somewhere on CHASE Street in DUMBO,” ….after calling the hotline. 

3)      Hares: For poor planning, as reflected by the trail mapped on, which was in fact INTENDED to be 4.2miles (per a map provided to me).  It seems there was a  bit of a SNAFU and the Manhattan Bridge was closed, leaving no other option to get to our On-In, but the Brooklyn Bridge.  Of course this would require additional mileage that our beloved hares were negligent in mentioning at the start.  Bold move or stupidity…. you decide.

4)      Ginger Steve: showed “brotherly behaviour” by picking up some additional sustenance…..there was jabber about the hares falling short on their pizza.  Claps for sharing Nachos, salsa and hummus with the undernourished!

5)      Ginger Steve …AGAIN, (on a less positive note) for being a bit of a girly-man, whining about the trail and the fact that an NYC hash shouldn’t end in Brooklyn.  Note to Ginger Steve:

·         Man up, Brooklyn is a borough, therefore NYC (thereby qualifying as a destination for a NYC hash).

·         Perhaps if our Daywalker* friend were a bit less ambitious (read: don’t run from Harlem to Greenwich Village) a modest 5 mile run would not seem so daunting.  


Without a virgin in site, it could have been mistaken for a Holiday Whore Hash**…….a more PC version of the infamous Santa’s sluts, perhaps?  




**DISCLAIMER: This proclamation has been made after learning far too much about who has swapped bodily fluids with whom.  Dirty Little Whores…..the whole lot of ya!  


On Out,  


Your disgruntled scribe