BH3 #484

BH3 Run #484

October 26, 2009

Start: Lorimer and Metropolitan

On-in: East River Bar

Hare: Canine Fixation

Scribe: Dental Damned


There he goes. One of God’s own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” – HST



Those participating in BK Hash #484 were told to meet at the Metropolitan-Lorimer stop of the L/G….ambiguous directions that were a strong precursor of what was to come.  Canine Fixation, a mathematics expert, talented runner and an otherwise reasonable fellow, gave a polished chalk talk and indicated the trail would be +/- 5 miles with mostly marked falses and one sketchy section….


The trail, in some respects, was decent.  We received a real good tour of the Hasidic section of Williamsburg (no Headlights that was not a ZZ Top cover band).  We got a great sense of the dicey, poorly lit section of Brooklyn between Williamsburg and Clinton Hill.  We were able to get a true insiders perspective on the all the exciting new construction being done on the BQE.  However, towards the 2/3 point of the trail, things went to complete shit.  First, we were forced to spend a lot of time looking for trail marks in Fort Greene Park, very close to the Prison Ship Martyrs Monument (true fact – this 148’ obelisk serves as a memorial to the over 11,000 men, women and children who died on horrible, overcrowded prison ships anchored in Manhattan Bay during the Revolutionary War – supposedly some of the remains of those people were interred in the tomb under the monument after their bones began washing up on the shore in the late 1700’s).  Upon finally tracking down the requisite trail markings, we then proceeded back to Williamsburg, ultimately passing through the other Hasidic section.  Now, I admire Hasidic people as much, if not more than the next person, mostly for their unimpeachable moral fiber, tremendous personal hygiene and impeccable fashion sense, but spending that much time in South Williamsburg was a little creepy and by the end of the trail almost all of the hashers were in a horrible mood and desperately in need of a cold beverage.  As an aside, a 5 mile trail is a good way to thin the herd out and make sure only suckahs show up for future BK hashes (or so the consensus on the trail seemed to indicate)


The on-in, East River, had some considerable benefits and some frustrating minuses.  On the plus side, it was a spacious room that was not crowded; additionally, there was a respectable beer selection.  Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, they had a working TV.  On the negative side, there was a decided lack of bathrooms and it seems we got reverse happy hour prices (sad hour prices?) as hash cash was doneskis after 2.5 beers per-


As for the circle and down-downs:


To the Hare, Canine Fixation


To the no-show Hare, Barnacle (as referenced in Fuck Me I’m Annoying’s incredibly detailed notes….”asshole”)


To the Visitor, Captain White Swallows, who supposedly hashes in Guam.  White Swallow appeared to be a decent guy, but is unlikely to return as Headlights poured a down-down on his head after he refused to take of his Bandanna during the circle….(you know the old saying: you fuck with (Sloppy) Headlights, you get the Horns and the PBR)


To the Virgin, Henry


To the Other Virgin, Unknown Person, who actually has hashed in Manhattan but has never hashed in BK


To Dental Damned, who took a piss during the trail but accidentally dribbled a tiny bit on himself.  Note that Dental Damned confided this, in private, to Melanie, who then immediately threw him under the bus and announced it to the entire circle.  Thanks a lot Melanie….won’t forget that one-


And Rob was named Ivory Dickler for his pianoman skills from the previous hash


The evening ended with some well done pizza and a couple of hashers having an old fashioned Big Buck Hunter Pro duel.


On-out and all the best to the Hashers running the Marathon…..