The Truth: OfficialOrgan of the Greater Gotham Full Moon
G2FMH3 Hash #220 – Friday, February 6, 2009
Hare: Virgin Hare Sari and Wet Willy
Start: Subway Bar on 60thand Lexington
On-In: 85th and 1st – Ryan’sDaughter
Scribe: Just Boozer
It was a cold night in Gotham, the wind howling down the avenues. We were to seea lot of those avenues this evening, crossing back and forth searching (oftenin vain) for the scant chalk that marked our trail. But I get ahead of myself…
Our hash began mostly on time,mostly uninformed and mostly cold. We headed due east down 60th Street with F.A.D. takingthe early lead. Our pack hustled along at a brisk pace until we neared a bridgethat would take us out of Manhattan.But isn’t this the Gotham hash? Indeed. We were thankful(for once) to have a backcheck. And we headed back to find the pack togetheronce again, a more grumbling pack mind you, but we were together again.
The trail continued darting backand forth across those windy, icey, Upper East Side avenues, eventuallybringing us to Central Park, the very core of Gotham.And this was the point when all became fraught. The pack scrambled too and fro,looking for signs of trail. Marks were few and far between. Brave souls whowent off to check for trail often did not return. Had they found trail? Did thefall? Were they overtaken by the ever-silent Living Statues, never to be heardfrom again? Another hasher and I were weighing these possibilities after ourdesperate calls of R U?!?! went unanswered by a particularly belligerenthasher. As we turned back to retrace our steps a particularly loud gaggle ofhashers called out the location of the On-In to everyone in their vicinity andthe took off in great haste to the source of beer and all that is good in thisworld.
We were displeased.
We now knew the ultimate end ofthe trail and that is no fun. No fun indeed. Undaunted by tales of LivingStatues lurking in the wilds of Gotham, wewent forth. We found our trail…and several hashers who had been discarded bythe rest of the pack. A goodly amount of shiggy, ice, and yellow snow combinedwith a paltry amount of marks lead us through Central Parkand towards 1st Avenue.We neared the On-In. With just a few blocks remaining to the end of our quest thehares led us on to the East River. Now, I waswith a group who had been told the location of the On-In by the gaggle ofevil-doers but we had one among us who remained blissfully ignorant. In amoment of blind comradery we decided to stay on trail and escort him throughthe full hashing experience. Our munificence lasted only a few blocks, at whichpoint we unleashed a fearsome quantity of tetchy talk that did not cease forthe duration of the trail. And thus we escorted our charge to the On-In, wherehe promptly left us to pursue more diverting experiences…such as exposing his manscaping to all who wishedto see.
1.Hares for haring: Why were they born sobeautiful…
2. Hares for havinga chalk shortage due to the recession: Thisis your down-down song, it isn’t very long…
3. Visitors and Virgins: 1 dudenamed Greg (Mike made him c*m): Virginssong.
4. Greg (the Virgin) for wearingjeans: He’s alright, he’s alright…
5. Mike (Greg’s friend) a.k.a NumbNuts for letting his friend Greg wear jeans to the hash and then ditching himon trail (I found him wandering around on the ice in Central Park asking whaton-on meant): He’s not #5…
6. Matt for his Living Statuephobia, which manifested itself when he saw the real statues of Central Park: Whata wank….
7. Dan Wix for forgetting the dateof the hash that he wrote up and turned in to me three months later (I had adeep sense of satisfaction over this one…): B.I.M.B.O
8. Red-Headed Steve for peeing in Central Park (on a living statue?!). There were a fewsuggestions for naming him Golden Showers…but to no avail. RHS remainsnameless. He outta be publicly pissed on…
9. Matt and another hasher werediscussing his Burt Reynolds-esque chest fur (frankly, I was not impressed – afew mostly-painless minutes with a candle and he’d be pretty smooth…). Yet thedisplay of his manscaping was enough to earn him a name: B.J. and the Bearback: Horses ass…
10. Mike is for asking what “Gotham” meant and where it was…Holy ignorance, Batman!