Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers
Run #1 January 16, 2009
Hares: Mean Jean, Wet Connection, and Noah’s Dinghy
On In: Plug Uglies
In Which The Events Are Recorded For Posterity
The Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers convened their very first trail on Wednesday January 14th 2009 at 7PM. As this was the first new hash in New York since the birth of the NAWW and NASS in 1997*, this generation of hasher is now assured of the chance to one day be able to sit around and claim, “I was at the first one!”, while a bunch of younger hashers wonder why the old farts can’t finally get a life.
The KH3 would be the first of several drink-worthy events in the week to come, the next of which would be the miraculous landing of an Airbus 320 on the Hudson Thursday, followed by the weekend, and the inauguration of Obama. Finally, and paling only in significance to the 1st KH3, Lost returned the following Wednesday. There was also a BH3 and a NYH3, so you can assume the beer flowed well.
For the record, the following Harriers and Harriettes were at the very first Knickerbocker H3.**
Founding JM’s: Mean Jean, Wet Connection, and Noah’s Dinghy
Old Farts: Yank it, SmashMouth, Hedgehog, Hardy, Steamer, and Dogface, and Peter
Stinky Farts: FMIG, Eager For Beaver, Fire In the Pie Hole, Fad #6, a late arriving Blackout, Don Juanabe, Junky Monkey, and Wet Willy
Hot Farts: Lesley, USMW, Crawlaholic, Lauren, Hot Rod, and Tit Totaller, Norma, Dana, Doggy Style, Marie Wickham, Baboon Ass, and Lisa
Young Farts: Headlights, Splat, Britney, The Leos, Laurel, Pussy In Boots, Just Rebecca VII, His And Herpes Simplex I and II (simplex II arriving real late and complaining about work, what a wank!), Jeremy, Ben, a guy who brought the virgin
Virgin Fart Michelle and Visiting Farts Tinsel Dick and Sara Legal
All told about 45 of us were at an event that were it KH3#2 would have had about 4 attendees since it was about 10 degrees outside. However, spirits were high, no doubt in part due to the prelube at nearby Heartland Brewery.
Promptly at 7:15, Wet Connection took a few moments off from selling inaugural haberdashery to those not clever enough to wear a hat and gave us an idea of what to expect, I believe she said it was pretty much the usual shit with a Chicken-Penguin split. We took that at face value and off we went.
A bit to the south we quickly came upon the split and I foolishly took the Penguin along with the rest of you chuckleheads. We proceeded east to that famous building you don’t know the name of near the corner of 6th Avenue and 8th St, and a check that would tear the pack asunder. Exactly how this check was solved by most of you is a mystery, but when the flour cleared, only myself, Lauren, Tit-Totaller, Crawlaholic, and Eager For Beaver were to be found. Fortunately, we lost him pretty quickly, leaving me with the belles of the ball… hot damn!
From there we covered the circuitous ground of the West Village for a while before heading east to Washington Square Park where the chicken trail re-merged with the penguin. Fortunately, our fellow hashers were kind enough to pack mark the remaining checks, saving us from any further ineptitude. We were joined somewhere east of Broadway by Don Juanabe who started a bit late and was just now getting to about mile 1. He’s a bit slow that one.
Eventually, we made our way to Finnerty’s, where Noah’s Dinghy was forlornly drinking his 2nd pitcher as he wondered where the hell we were. While most of us were eager to help him out, Tit Totaller, struck a demure pose in her new kicks, bit her lip, and whined “Do we have to?” I have no idea what got into her and presumably Too Long straightened her out.
We quickly finished the beer, and Eager For Beaver shoved a handful of pretzel mix into his pockets in preparation for the long walk to Plug Uglies, where we had been beaten to the bar by everybody including the pizza guy. DFL indeed!
Eventually, the very 1st KH3 circle was called, and the JMs broke out a whole bunch of new songs for us to belt out. No, I kid, we sang the same tripe as usual. Honoree’s this evening included:
The Hares: Our JMs.
The Virgin Michelle decked out in a clingy Wonder Woman Shirt.
Visitors Tinsel Dick and Sarah Legal
DB2: Apparently his peepee got a little too cold for anyone’s comfort.
DB2 and Myself: I helped DB2 recover his collection of Man-Bird porn. We were justly serenaded.
Myself- Apparently my peepee was a little too available in clingy black spandex.
Tit Totaller – Wore new kicks and expected no one to say anything. Oh, please.
Splat – Running with a flask, there’s really no stopping homeboy is there.
Geoff, Roy, and maybe Ewa – Primarily a peace-making down-down, these stewards of the NAWW proudly wore their colors. Its likely Ewa just wore something excessively garish in any case.
AOTW – I’m not sure if we are calling it that, but Britney had some very fancy shoes and maybe some sort of surgery.
Nominations were called for and DBB predictably stepped to the fore in an attempt to rectify some dwarf/midget/little person abuse that happened at Monday’s BH3. DBB was assured that Lauren’s honor will be restored at the BH3 this Monday.
And that was pretty much that. See you at run #100; I’ll be the one telling you I did the write-up way back at run # 1.