BH3 #402

Run:         Brooklyn 402, 2/18/08
Start:        Court and Montague
On In:       The Royale, Fifth Ave and Thirteenth Street-ish, Park Slope
Hares:       USMW and Noah’s Dingy
Scribe:      Whoremaster


If you’re not happy with this writeup, blame habitual scribe Saint Bruce, who missed the hash because he was trapped at the airport in Dallas. Getting trapped in an airport is bad luck. Missing a hash suggests that someone has poor timing. But going to Dallas? That’s indicative of a substantial character flaw, to say the least. Anyway, due to his absence, Eager for Bearver Tim asked that I scribe.

I don’t have a lot of luck with writeups. The last time I scribed, Saint refused to publish it. Well, he refused to publish it in English. I think he ran it through “” and distributed it in Italian or something. My writeup prior to that must have been must have been ages ago and not everyone was thrilled. Smashmouth Dave, for example, tore it in two and didn’t speak to me for three years.

Come to think of it those were three good years. Maybe that was a darn successful writeup after all, in which case I’m battin’ .500 on scribing and my luck with it isn’t so bad. We’ll see if I can keep my average up on this one.

Karen and James, aka USMW and Noah’s Dingy, should be commended for their choice of On In location. First and foremost, The Royale, at Fifth Avenue and 13th Street in good ole Park Slope, is a mere ten minutes from my apartment. Why are so few On Ins held in the slope these days? Back in the day every other hash ended at a bar from which I didn’t have to take a subway home. So kudos to Karen and James for goin’ old school and ending their hash at a ‘slope bar. It was like, retro.

Secondly, The Royale is a cool place, one definitely underleveraged by the BH3 (though I’ll note for the record here that I was the first to leverage it about three years ago). I hadn’t been there for a while and was disappointed to see that they got rid of the alcoves (aka “nooks and crannies” for those of you who’ve seen the movie In Bruges) in the back. Present set-up is much less snog-friendly. Still, a hip spot.
The Royale also had remarkably good service. For example, when “Tit-totaller” Mary ordered a glass of wine, the bartender poured her a taste of wine before pouring her an entire glass – a touch of class that is rarely observed at BH3 On In locations. Karen and James failed to brief the bartender that such class is often lost on the BH3. Mary appeared entirely confused for a moment, staring at the splash of wine in her glass, as if she wanted to ask the bartender “what, is this all I get?” or something. She downed it with an air of resignation and disappointment. The bartender, however, must have taken her look as one of approval as he then poured her a full glass. Appearing heartened, if still confused, she slid the glass off the bar and made her way to the back.

Because she was drinking wine – going off our negotiated special – we’ll be sending her a bill for $20. Ditto for Mastercard Kim, who decided to show up in Brooklyn and immediately set about busting our hash cash by similarly ordering wine. And because Kim shows up so infrequently we’ll be billing her $30.

As to the trail, I didn’t run it but there was apparently a subterranean check at the 7th Avenue subway station. If so that’s my gig – best check of my haring career. Was fair game and screwed everyone up. Hmm, the hares copied my signature check and mimicked my choice of On In location. You know, the more I think about Karen and James’s hash, the more flattered I become.

There were some grumblings that the run was a bit long. Someone asked how long and Fire-in-the-Pie Hole Andrew replied “I’ve got 7.3 kilometers…” –Should have given him a down down for answering in metric.

(On a side note could we not find Andrew and Mary nicer hash names?)

One virgin: George, visiting from Greece. This was, however, a deception, as he later ‘fessed up that his name was in fact “Georgios.” Whoremaster then proceeded to regale (bore) him and his host, Marios, of his travels in Greece years ago. They politely nodded their heads and offered a few “ah”s, “hm-mm”s and “oh really?”s to make WM think that they actually cared.  

WM mistakenly took Mika for a virgin; the latter pointedly assured him that she “was not a virgin” and it was her second Brooklyn run.

In other developments, Screaming O Rachel got a down down for for texting on trail. I find this less offensive than impressive. I mean, I can’t text and hash at the same time.

Smashmouth got one for being “an angry British man” in last week’s NAWW in Queens. This failed to arouse a lot of indignation, however, as the run wasn’t in Brooklyn and we thus didn’t really care.

Finally, WM and FMIG momentarily fought over the pen necessary for write-up and down-down notes (“Give it to me, I only need it for a second”/“Get your own god damn pen”), mostly because it wouldn’t have been a hash had they not had a pissing contest about something.

On out