G2FMH3 Hash # 181 – Friday, July7, 2006
Hare: Wee Willie and Kendra
Start: Merchants Gate, Columbus Circle
On-In: Bourbon Street, Amsterdam at 79th Street
Punk Ass Bitch (Scribe): Mean Jean the Down Down Machine
Let’s leave Kendra out of this for the moment. Don’t worry, we’ll get back there. Let’s start with Will. Wee Willie, as his nom de hash. Did you know that in Scotland, Willie, or wullie, is a synonym for the male sexual organ? So, for argument’s sake, let’s just call him Dick for now. So Dick turns up at the start all sweaty from just finishing setting trail—as it turned out for the second time in as many days. Having set it the day before the hash, he was shocked and stunned to have discovered that the arrows had faded overnight. Off he went to set it again but faced a clusterf*ck when he discovered the well-marked chicken/eagle split from the night before had survived though he had no time to remark it. An epic description of how to avoid the chicken/eagle split was left in its place. Must have used all his chalk writing that blockbuster because he clearly didn’t use it on the rest of the trail! Now let us circle back to Kendra. Clearly still tired from exploits with round-the-world sailors the weekend before (Pot, have you met Kettle? He’s black too!), Kendra failed to do anything at all for this trail, save for writing the word On In in front of the bar. Well, that’s what we get for letting a couple of pimple poppers set trail on a Friday night!
Now about that trail, let’s start with what a trail is: noun
| a circuitous path or track made across a wild region, over rough country, or the like, by the passage of people or animals. |
Keyword here being circuitous. Roundabout, not in a direct line. Now let’s examine what a loop is: n. Something having a shape, order, or path of motion that is circular or curved over on itself.
Hmm, trail or loop? You ran it? You decide. But two straight lines with a curvy bit at the bottom and another curvy bit at the top, well, LOOP! Essentially from the start at Columbus Circle, we made our way up the east side in Central Park. I got crazy lost at the Reservoir when trail mysteriously evaporated but eventually discovered Peter and Rick Kammererererrr in the same boat. We eventually got on on back on the reservoir until we crossed over the bridal path and hung a left at 96th where we spent about 20 minutes reading about why there was no longer a chicken eagle split. Rich eventually ditched me before we hit the west side and made a sharp left onto Broadway but try as he might to do the same I dogged along with Peter the rest of the way. I don’t know what that says: is my running getting better or is Peter’s getting worse, but… A gratuitous jaunt over to Riverside Park notwithstanding, we made the On In in due course, with only a couple more trail evaporations to deal with!
Ah Bourbon Street, home of the annual Mardi Gras hash and fond memories of marines and sailors from Fleet Week 2005! Any bad trail can be quickly and easily forgotten with a good on in and we were served up with longlasting hash cash, yummy pizza, and the soulful stylings of JMs Cockstar and Rich.
Down downs dispensed as follows: Hares Kendra and Wet Willie, not once, not twice, but three times!Virgins Liz, Marie, Dan, and MarkVirgins Dan and Liz stayed up; Dan was apparently caught talking to Mommy on trail and Liz who wore her shorts back to frontSalt Lick as the FRB gave the hasher bag to Devo (the GGFM tradition of the FRB adding another item to the bag to be carried by the next FRB continued as Salt Lick added a pair of Fluffy’s underwear she happened to have in her knapsack..??????)Dr Bruce for peeing on trail—an oldie but a classic! Jenn who decided it was time to start marathon training and gu’ed in the middle of the trail!Kaiko for iPod-wearing on trailSarah Down Under and Andrew for being AWOL from GGFM for so darn longHares again for a wonderful story involving emptying the cabbie’s trunk of all the hash bags as well as his own bag; poor guy had to come back to the bar after his shift to pick it up!Finally, the Random Abuse of Power from Marine Whore to her honey, Noah’s Dinghy Another GGFM put to rest. And considering I’m finally writing this approximately two months after the event itself, I’m delighted to put this Write Up to rest alongside it.