September 6, 2006
Start: 33rd and 7th
Hares: Empress Norma, Dan, and Mastercard
On-In: Otto’s Shrunken Head
Scribe: Blackout

Ah, the month of September, when the evening air turns crisp, hashers are seen combing the stores for red dresses, the sun sets earlier and earlier, and blue chalk inexplicably becomes attractive to hares.  Of course, for hashers looking for trail these last two characteristics can lead to much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

The start was on the northeast corner of Madison Square Garden, where gathering hashers already took note of the darkening skies.  Norma in her opening instructions made it very clear that “E” stands for “Eagle” and “C” stands for “Chicken”, warning everyone that the eagle trail was at least a mile longer.  At this point some in the crowd swore that they heard ominous music floating down 7th Avenue, the kind heard in soundtracks just before the horrors begin.  Of course, just like the movie characters unaware of the obvious terrors soon to be unleashed, we in the pack took off towards the Hudson.  After some southward and then eastward wandering across numerous avenues, all the while the trail getting darker and the marks bluer (cue more ominous music), the pack arrived at a makeshift “lemonade” stand along the East River staffed by Kim and Dan.  At this point (maybe scared by the dark?), most of the pack quickly took off south after a hurried drink.  The rest of us sipped our beverages and enjoyed the nighttime view over the river before catching up to hashers shuffling around looking for invisible blue chalk marks.  Without too much effort (this time anyway…cue music), trail was found and the pack continued south and over the FDR to a final check.  This check was nearly the pack’s doom, until eagle-eyed Jumpin’ Jack Gash spotted some marks heading west and north.  Speaking of eagles, the pack finally arrived at Otto’s Shrunken Head wondering whatever became of that chicken-eagle split.

Down-downs were given to the hares, visitors Mike from Copenhagen and Cuntsultant from Bangkok, and numerous virgins.  Next up were Joe for lecturing virgins on trail, Fast American Dave for complaining about not being able to get ahead of the women, and yours truly for getting sh*t upon early on trail, perhaps a sign of the type of trail that was to come.  Last down-downs were to Stewa for getting caught on television at the US Open—making out of course, and to Scott for something about using a cell phone while changing.  Assh*le of the week went to Norma for chalk violations and a never-found chicken/eagle split.  To finish the circle, Pussyfoot and Mike sang a Copenhagen serenade to the last beer.  Maybe due to the copious down-downs, hash cash ended not long after the pizza arrived, though that didn’t stop some of the crowd from lingering into the wee hours of the morning.