Brooklyn Hash #510
Start: BAM
On-In: East River Bar
Hare: Rack N’ Roll Her
“For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled” – HST
BK Hash #510 can be characterized by good weather, quality shenanigans, and some tasty grandma-style pizza at the end….here’s the skinny:
Willing hashers met across from BAM to follow a trail laid out by Rack N’ Roll Her. The run started out prosaically, weaving through Fo’ Greene and Clinton Hill. Things deteriorated slightly as the trail went up through hilly FG Park and then down by the BQE, and then it got downright sketchballs as the trail wove through the Democratic People’s Republic of Hasidim (aka South Williamsburg). At that point, trail markings became sparse and difficult to find, similar to the moral turpitude of the aforementioned Hasids. Eventually the trail converged around Lee Avenue, and most of the hashers ended up as a loose pack when the festivities terminated at East River Bar
After freshening up and drinking probably 2/3 of a beer, a certain hasher worried out loud to the hare that Headlights had not yet arrived at the On-In….anybody knows that a salty Texan with an amino acid tattoo, running through a neighborhood of randy, irascible Hasidic men, is a volatile and possibly dangerous situation. No sooner had these concerns been conveyed did Headlights meander into the OI carrying a Singer sewing machine over her shoulder, seemingly without a care in the world, and with Nads on Film following close behind with the power cord and pedal. “What? I needed a sewing machine and I saw this one on the curb…” responded Headlights, incredulous that anybody would dare question picking up a discarded sewing machine in the street, during a hash, and carrying it roughly 2-3 miles to the OI.
Ultimately things got serious and the circle began….with double D’s as follows:
- For the Hare, Rack N’ Roll Her
- For the visitor, Prick of the Litter (author’s note: quality hash name) of Nashville, TN for showing up at the OI, claiming he couldn’t find the start, and trying to track down a mysterious hasher named “Nina” who supposedly invited him but wasn’t there. Prick of the Litter had 2 DD’s, one for being a visitor and one for not even managing to run
- For Just Mel, who was waiting at the start when an alleged acquaintance came up shrieking and loudly greeting her; evidently one can pay somebody to do this very thing
- For the Hare again, Rack N’ Roll Her, who apparently created a chicken/eagle split on trail without even realizing she had done it; kudos on that.
- For Just Mike, who happily ran through shiggy and other trail detritus as if it were where the trail was marked…simmer down guy, its not an obstacle course
- For Nads on Film, for new shoes. Let the record show that there was some confusion over which pair of shoes were regarded as “new”, so Nads on Film, like the good-natured hasher (or alcoholic) that he is, drank out of one of each of the alleged new pairs of shoes.
- For Oral Values, for tempting the Hasidim by dressing immodestly and batting her eyelashes ever so salaciously
- For She’s A Dude, who mentioned in passing that he just moved in with his girlfriend and then later, nonchalantly added they had actually gotten married….Mazel Tov buddy! (note this DD was given to Smashmouth)
- For Headlights, because of the sewing machine
- For Headlights and Nads on Film, because of the sewing machine. At this point the JM tried to figure out if the sewing machine actually worked, but no outlet was available to plug into
- For Dental Damned, because of his complaint that it was too light out for peeing in the park (Thanks Sketch….you’re dead to me now)
- For FMIG, because of his complaint that its hard for him to not do the circle
- For Barnacle, who wore a shirt saying “pack leader”. During the previous week’s hash, Barnacle was not able to add anything to the circle because he was “too far in front…next time I’ll drop back into the pack”…What a guy. (the best part of this was that Barnacle claimed the shirt it was from a dog-walking service, meanwhile it was technical style – there must be very competitive dog-walkers there )
- For Headlights, because of the sewing machine
Things settled down slightly, and pizza was eaten.
Until next time –
On-Out
Dental Damned