BH3 #667

Hash: BH3 #667
Date: Apr 29, 2013
Start: Corner of Smith and 9th St
Transit: F, G to Smith and 9th Sts
On in: Brooklyn Crab
Hare: Smashmouth
Scribe: Eager for Beaver

The Smith and 9th St Station has been closed for renovations for 2 years, or a year and a half more than originally planned. In MTA parlance, that means that construction was completed at least 3 years early than expected, and a billion dollars under budget, regardless of whatever it actually cost. Anyway, Smashmouth was glad that the entrance had just reopened, since only the F and G – or, the “eff’in G” – trains stopped there, ensuring maximum inconvenience for the pack.

The new entrance to the station is now made of the brushed aluminum, or “aluminium” in the hare’s native language, of a Horn and Hardart Automat. This probably provided the hare with additional comfort, since he first immigrated to our fair shores around the time that the Automat was still in business.

As the acting MTA chairman Fernando Ferrer said, “But here we are. Better late than, you know”. As was the pack.

The hare’s lovely spouse loaded our bags to the hash mobile, and we were off. The trail went up along that ridiculous little street with the 4 foot high doors – a guaranteed stop on any trail in Carroll Gardens – and then picked up along Smith Street a bit, to a check in the Carroll Gardens Park, and then down Smith Street a bit more.

At some point there was a left to head west, until the pack arrived at a mysteriously named JTC check. Hedgehog noticed that this was in front of Eager for Beaver’s apartment, so must indicate a Jointmaster Tim check. If only – as it turns out, hares of a certain age need a bathroom break at regular interviews; “JTC” indicated a toilet break of the Japanese variety. If only your’s truly had remembered his keys from the backpack he’d given Ms. Smashmouth.

This toilet check should in no way have any bearing upon the age of the hare. While the hash prefers drink checks to toilet checks, only “rest checks” and “pinocle checks” would indicate a legitimate age issue.

Unfortunately, Doggie Erectus would really have appreciated a set of keys, because he actually had to go. Dr. Bruce – or, er, Lexi’s Bitch – actually did go, along the piers by Van Brunt.

The trail shimmied around Van Brunt, and passed some excellent bars. Unfortunately, none of them were the actual on in. On trail, the recently refreshed Dr. Bruce mentioned that there were only 3 or 4 bars in Red Hook that are still in business let along remotely Hash-friendly, and at that point we’d run by 2 of them.

We ran, thankfully not through, but by, the Red Hook Housing Projects, passed Rocky Sullivan’s (potential on-in #3 for those keeping score), over to the Ikea parking lot, and back to the Fairway and to our on-in, Brooklyn Crab on Reed Street.

Now, Brooklyn Crab is co-owned by a longtime hasher, however Smashmouth was only able to get the Monday beer special, $2 Narragansetts. We were offered the outside deck, but the climate-change-related cold forced the pack indoors; luckily, the intense polyester/old sweat/new sweat smell scared away enough of the locals to score us all the tables. Since the pack was on its own for food and the last bus service was no doubt about to head out, your JM’s proceeded with down downs.

Your hare got his.
Color me surprised, but no virgins or visitors were brave enough to truck out to Gowanus.
Conelingus was late, having cum all the way from Queens. BTW, Queens Lives.
Eager for Beaver for not having his keys for the false toilet check.
Doggie Erectus for really needing a toilet check.
Dr. Bruce for creating his own toilet check on trail.
Just Drew for running past the on in. (Blackout for standing in, since Drew had better things to do than wait for the circle.)
Smashmouth for not marking the on in.
Urine Trouble for paying $14 hash cash.
Headlights and Dr. Bruce for having better things to talk about during the circle.
Just Jim for never providing trail offenses, despite his back-of-the-pack vantage point.
Hedgehog, for the waitress misunderstanding his accent, and renaming him “Hot Dick”.

on on