Start: York Street Subway Station
Transit: F to York Street
On-in: NYCRUNS HQ
The first thing I thought of upon leaving the dry warmth of my apartment was “boy, am I glad I’m not running today’s Brooklyn trail”. I thought this for a few reasons. First, running sucks. Everyone knows this. What is the matter with you people? Drinking with your pals is A-OK, but I prefer walking to the subway. Smashmouth probably prefers the bus, but surely he would agree with me that running is for suckers. Thank God I run with the hash, which puts running way down low on the priority list.
Second, it was snowing. I knew that the hare would not plan for this. It wasn’t like we were expecting a ton of snow in late March, and who, honestly, on the day they’re haring, remembers to check the fucking weather. Surely not our hare, and definitely not today. Regardless, there was snow everywhere by 2PM. Predictably, our hare posts something on Facebook to the effect of, the trail I marked 2 days ago (or might as well have) is already obliterated.
Third, this was FMIG’s return to form in our borough. I’m not sure when the last time he hared was, but I’m pretty sure that trail was terrible as well. His first hash that I ran – or tried to – was a Sunday in NY, and, after a half hour of desperate checking and running in circles on the east side, we finally picked up true trail leading directly to an on-ramp of the FDR. It was a huge clusterfuck – the NYC JMs totally grilled FMIG for it to the point where it’s probably a painful memory for everyone involved. Regardless, on a shitty trail, everyone remembers the on-in. In this case, I think the on-in was probably terrible too, cause I can’t really remember it either.
As it turned out, FMIG got his revenge by taking over the JM-ship of Brooklyn, and built it into the efficient hashing machine that it is today. It’s always great when a former JM comes back to show the kids how they did it in their day. In this case, “their day” did not include maps, chalk, planning, or decent beer. Or bars, since we on-in’ed at the brand new headquarters of NYCRUNS. We did get some sweet swag that befits a professional running organization, including night-time blinkers, pens, and a great hoodie/t-shirt combo invention of FMIG’s that is truly the best race giveaway I’ve ever gotten.
But seriously, it had been too long since FMIG had graced Brooklyn’s gritty shores. The pack met in DUMBO at York Street, and were pretty much f’ed from the first mark. Wet snow covered everything, including the marks set in white chalk. So everyone ran around hopelessly for a while, and headed to the on-in. We got to drink some very foamy beer made by one of his neighbors that was probably better cold, had some pizza and caught up.
New-ish hasher Jean Marie had a few points to make at the on in. First, her name is pronounced “Juh Maree”; noted. Second, 3 out of the 4 hashes she’s run have ended in homes or offices. This is not what she signed up for. And third, that irreplacable finishers award that FMIG was saving to give to a first place finisher of one of his races would look much better on the floor, smashed into pieces.
TF and I gave out some down downs:
To the hare, for his trail and on-in.
To Just Jill, for conducting financial business on trail. Apparently mortgage rates are at an all time low; call your broker.
To Pearl Necklace in a Box for a) having a ridiculous hash name and b) picking up chalk off the street and tasting it, or sniffing it, or generally doing something you shouldn’t with crap you pick up off the street. Seriously, I get Pearl Necklace – ha ha – but why “in a Box”? What’s with these New Yorkers and their hash names?
To Fast American Dave for running his own trail. Although honestly, that’s a harsh down down: if the trail is set in white chalk on a snowy day, what are you supposed to do?
Blackout gave a random abuse of power down down to someone. Probably Stacey, who we also haven’t seen in a while, but I can’t remember.
To Speedo Gonzales for being DFL on what must have been the shortest trail in his hashing career.
Then to FMIG again, for coming back into the fold, and opening himself up to abuse like this write up.
Welcome back former JM!