August 29, 2011
Start: Bergen and Flatbush
On In: Micnik Lounge
Scribe: Death Breast
MAFH, they cried! No, I said that. The last Monday pre-Labor Day hash was a beautiful night. Isn’t Brooklyn beautiful in the summertime? On a corner of Flatbush Avenue, surrounded by Vibram Five Fingers and mandals (man sandals…never OK), the crew unpatiently awaited the whiney hare who told us to TRUST HIM several times. Now, when someone says "trust me when I say that all falses are marked," it sounds kind of like someone pre-emptively starting a statement with "I don’t mean to be an asshole," and then following it up with any number of douchebaggy comments ("I don’t mean to be an asshole, but you look like shit"). Anyhoo, the mandal-clad hare set us out on a "trustworthy" trail of less than 4.5 miles.
We were teased with Prospect Park, but merely skirted the edges, explored many parts of Park Slope, Carroll Gardens, and then ended up in an area of Brooklyn that I’m not completely sure of the name. Is it Brooklyn Heights? I don’t know. I don’t care. All I care is that I was able to have Calexico, even though it took 15 years to get the food. What is this? San Diego? This is New York, people…hurry the hell up with my tacos.
In any case, I digress. I didn’t take the crappy beer deal and instead paid for my own Six Point nanokeg of Sweet Action. Because, my friends, this is supposed to be the "Better Beer Hash," so, no crappy bottled beer is going down my gullet. Unless I’m already severely drunk.
The circle was led by two very tired ladies, having arrived to the On In not running trail, but instead running their own 20 mile trail of tears and vomit. Technically Foul and Headlights were sore and let us all know. Several times.
And the down downs went to:
– The hare Barnacle
– Virgin Miguel
– Visitor Barock (really??)
– Barnacle for the lack of "hurricane"
– Doggy Erectus because he just HAD to hash on Sunday, right after Irene
– Fast American Dave, Speedo Gonzales, Pizza Slut, Marie, and others for being fooled by childrens’ chalk
– Smash Mouth pecause he can’t resist trivia and passes on shot (what the hell was that about? I have no idea what this means)
*EDITORS NOTE: Smashmouth had won a free shot at the bar for solving a trivia question and passed italong to a fellow hasher. Alcohol abuse!
– Rack n Roll Her for a tragic bike accident with a puddle and Fast American Dave for falling on his stoop because of a puddle
– And, of course, our lovely circle jerks Technically Foul and Headlights for their ridiculous 20 miles to the On In. RACISTS!!!
Monday nights save my week. MAFH.