NYCH3 #1445, 14th An*l Red Dress Run

Saturday, September 17, 2011, 3pm

NYCH3 #1445, 14th An*l Red Dress Run

Start / Dressup & Makeup Area / On-In: Fontana’s Bar, 105 Eldridge St. between Broome and Grand

Hares: Punk A$$ Bitch, Salt Lick, Head Up A$$ & Flabio

Circle Emcee: Pimpy Longstocking

Scribe: Doggie Erectus

We gathered at Fontana’s Bar to don our gay apparel.  And to put on our wigs and paint our nails…

Needless to say, it was going to be a huge mass of drunken red confusion.  Fontana’s is on a small street near Chinatown and the locals were all stopping to gawk and take pictures as we filed out of the bar for a few group photos.

After we had all the pics we needed, we hit the trail.  It took us through the Feast of San Gennaro where we passed a crowd watching someone speak on stage.  They invited the whole pack up on stage for a round of applause which we gladly accepted

Then we went through Washington Square Park where many of us ran through the fountain

Skidmark found on a sofa on trail and was carried like Cleopatra on her litter by the pack for a while

We eventually found our way back to Fontana’s and gave out Down-Downs:

The Hares: Punk A$$ Bitch, Salt Lick & Flabio

Visitors & Virgins: Too many to count

The "You came to a Red Dress Run without a dress" award was given to 3 wankers

Punk A$$ Bitch, Salt Lick, Head Up A$$ & Flabio took over circle at this point to give out the Red Dress Awards

Best Boobs (female): Just Darlene

Best Boobs (male): Just Matt

Most uncomfortable costume: Skidmark in his bloomers and bustier

Ugliest costume: Gabe the Babe

The Ed Lynch is a homosexual award was awarded to: Ed Lunch

Camel Toe Jumpsuit Award: Yank It My A$$ Hurts

Best A$$: Shock the Beaver

Mr. Red Dress: I Feel Tower

Miss Red Dress: Just Leslie

We liked Leslie’s outfit so much we named her Bam-Bam Thank You Ma’am

It was really nice having my nails done by a harriette before trail.  We should have had a post-hash makeup removal party too.  It was a little awkward stopping in to the drug store on my way home to buy nail polish remover.