NYCH3 #1402 – Chanukah Chash
Start: Houston and First Ave
On-In: The Levee, North 3rd and Berry (that’s Brooklyn, kids)
Hares: Dr. Steve & Dr. Jonathan
Scribe: Finger F**ked
Gather around, fellow hashers, and I will convey to you the miracle of the Chanukah Chash. Many years ago our ancestors were persecuted because of their beliefs. "Running and drinking, what a stupid thing to do!" our civilian overlords would scoff. There were even attempts to make the hashers r*n without beer at the end, and forced participation in raceist activity.
However, our forebears fought off this tyranny the only way they knew how… by setting a trail and challenging the civilian control of the bar. Despite only having hash cash for 1 day of drinking, miraculously the hash cash lasted eight, after which the hash was in control of the bar and no longer persecuted. A Chanukah Chash miracle!
The pack gathered at Houston and 1st Avenue to celebrate this miracle the only way we know how. After ensuring the ladies were sufficiently covered up and the men had their yarmalukes firmly pinned to their heads, Dr. Steve and Dr. Jonathan sent us on our way, winding through the East Village and the Lower East Side before heading over the bridge to check out the Hasidic enclave of South Williamsburg.
Despite the tease of passing the East River Bar, the on in of past years, the run continued south and east past the displeased Hasidim before looping back north and west to drop off a pack of thirsty hashers at the Levee, on North 3rd and Berry.
Cookies, beer, cheeseballs, and other assorted holiday treats were inside, and much merriment and celebrating the Chanukah Chash miracle ensued.
Without further ado, the down downs:
The hares, for the usual offenses.
Virgins, for having the temerity to show up to one of these things.
Al, for coming to the hash about once every 10 years. See you in 2020!
Mickey Mouth, for saying the bags could go early, since DB2 was already there. He was kind enough to drink with her.
Copa Cum Bloody: For not respecting his elders and shouting "Hey old man, don’t run into traffic!"
Finger F**ked, for being a responsible adult person and bringing her insurance card on the run (Ed Note: I have learned this lesson the hard way, so I’ll take that down down every week to avoid a repeat performance of the finger-breaking mischegos).
FMIG, for paying a mere $6 in hash cash.
The chosen people, for Hanukkah.
Dr. Steve, we are so sorry to see you go. Though please feel free to take all of the Lone Star beer with you.
Smashmouth was AOTW for many offenses, which include but are not limited to: not stopping at checks, complaining about the loud music in the bar, and deciding his beer would taste better with some cheeseballs in it. Good show!