NYCH3 # 1324
Start: 14th St/3rd Ave
Hare: Gabe the Babe
Virgin Scribe: Just Sean
This week’s hash began as many do, with various passers-by commenting on how ugly we are and wishing we wouldn’t take up the whole freakin sidewalk. Once all 150 people had arrived, we took off r*nning. Meanwhile, Mickey Mouth, bewildered and looking for the start, asked unsuspecting pedestrians to use their phones several times. The request was rebuffed by a reluctant passer-by who presumably wished to not have his phone screen greased.
At several points en route, those of us who were either new to the game or too involved in titillating conversation realized we had no idea where we were going. At one such juncture, Lauren took command and we followed her like she was the Messiah leading us to the promised land. Presented with a checkmark and several worried first-timers, she dismissed doubts and decided to fuckitall and run across the street to the East River Park, chalk marks be damned. Her braggadocio nevertheless led us to a speedy reunion with the lost trail. This leads the author to conclude that either she receives directions from the Lord Himself or has been doing this entirely too long.
Elsewhere along the way, most of us suffered mild carbon monoxide poisoning at the Hell’s Angels reunion taking place at City Hall. Perhaps this was where Lesley plowed into Joe’s rear as she blindly hastened down the trail. This was grounds for a down-down.
At the On-In, Wet Connection lost her shit and lost a glass to the floor, while only being slightly intoxicated. A schmuck named Eric decided to buck fashion trends and wear his Zogsports t-shirt as a finger to all those present who were less hardcore than he. And Bartender Lady was wearing far too few articles of clothing for the temperature of the bar, though few people tended to object.