BH3 #440

December 22, 2008
Hares: C*ntcake, with Helper Dan
Start: Bedford Avenue L Train
On-In: R-Bar
Scribe: Canine Fixation (thanks to C*ntcake for filling in missing details)

Cold and icy does not begin to describe this r*n. Retardedly cold and

icy, maybe. I use the term “retarded” because that’s what I must

have been for allowing the call of beer and holiday treats to get me

to toss good judgment aside and head out to Brooklyn. I headed to the

L train with visions of fresh eggnog and cookies dancing in my head,

and hoped that C*ntcake wasn’t just teasing when those emails were

sent out.


The small pack that arrived at Bedford Ave decided to stay inside the

station until start began rather than go up and freeze their asses

off. While perfectly sensible, this caused the hares to almost leave

and go get drunk instead of giving the chalk talk. Eventually, the

desire for alcohol consumption overwhelmed the group, and, like

groundhogs, the pack emerged to the surface, much to the hares’



The hares gave a brief outline (warning) of the trail before sending

the pack off. Seeing as how there were still large swaths of ice

covering the ground, the pack was forced to cautiously traipse from

one corner to another looking for nigh invisible pink marks on

whatever exposed concrete there was. The hares later insisted that

those marks stood out better in the small patches on concrete

available but the pack concluded that they were full of sh*t.

Thankfully, the trail was a short jaunt through Greenpoint though it

somehow managed to avoid all cleared sidewalks and dash through at

least one construction site.


The hares, rather than the chalk, pointed us to the drink check,

nestled next to yet another construction site, back in Williamsburg.

We were led to C*ntcake’s apartment where she served us her special

homemade eggnog (and no doubt allowed them to pet her kitty, er kitties –ed). It had been in her fridge a year but she didn’t tell

us that until we had all imbibed. Unfortunately, Dogface did not

arrive in time to partake due to his walking the trail along with

unintentional sabotage*. Sufficiently warmed up, we left and ran the

short distance to the on-in, the R-bar, where the festivities



Although the hash was done London-style, a little cash went a long way

as we arrived in time for 2-for-1 specials. In addition, C*ntcake,

struck by the spirit of giving, treated us to a holiday gift of pizza

and delicious home-baked Christmas cookies (these were not aged like

the eggnog). Some late comers trickled in, and the circle commenced. A

possible incomplete list of down-downs awarded is as follows:


– Hares C*ntcake and Dan for the aforementioned sh*tty markings.

– Dan and Alex for being Brooklyn virgins and Josh for making Alex come.

– *Hedgehog for laying down wrong pack marks that Dogface got to enjoy.

– Marie for waiting at the wrong entrance at Bedford Ave. For 30 minutes.

– Dogface for attempting to inject some political correctness into the circle.

– Greg the bartender for having to put up with people with too little

goddamn common sense to stay in for the night.


The on-in more than made up for the sh*tty trail, which in all honesty

wasn’t that bad considering the situation. I’m not sure who stayed

until when, but I headed to the sorta nearby L train, warmed by the

flowing, cheap, delicious beer, with visions of naked Brooklyn hashers

dancing in my head.




Canine Fixation