The Truth
Official Organ of the Greater Gotham Full
Moon
Hash House Harriers
G2FMH3 Hash #212 –
Friday, August 15, 2008
Hares: Wee Willie and Anna
Start: 103rd and Central Park West
On-In: Ding Dong Lounge, Columbus and 105th
Punk Ass Bitch (Scribe): Noah’s Dinghy Ever look up in the sky? I don’t recommend it when driving or walking through midtown; the damn tourists make negotiating the sidewalks hard enough. But if you have a free moment, by all means, take a gander upwards. You’ll notice that, merely by looking, you can tell it’s daytime or not, and whether or not some strange water-like substance that people on TV like to call “rain” is liable to fall on us. Apparently, Wee Willie had not taken the radical step of glancing upward, for on a strangely chilly August evening, when dark clouds had been in the sky all f*cking day, and rain had started to come down around 4:00 p.m., he was obligated to set trail twice. The second time was more or less live, as Willie raced to place flour, and inexplicably, chalk ahead of the impatient throng gathering at the start. Actually, “throng” is probably not the word I’m looking for, but rather “eight people who couldn’t figure out why they were doing this.” Once the not-actually-named Red-Headed Steve gave a perfunctory chalk-talk, the keen powers of detection that packs of hash house harriers are known for led us into Central Park, which was directly across the street. From there, we made it a whole 50 feet before getting hopelessly lost at the first check. It was a tricky one, with four possible directions, and the lot of us repeatedly going over three of them and refusing to even consider the fourth. This being a trail in the northern end of Central Park, there was some shiggy, and a huge circle jerk that took us several minutes to recognize as such, and more shiggy.
There was also a drink check manned by Fireman Tim, who apparently had gotten to the start even earlier than the rest of us, and thus was called into service. Once we were done drinking Wee Willie’s horrid concoction, Tim abandoned the check and join us for the remainder of the r*n. There was little remarkable about the trail, billed as Wee Willie’s Last Stand, before leaving us for Birmingham. We continued in Central Park for a while, r*n around Morningside Heights for a time, spent a few minutes in Morningside Park, then more or less made a beeline for the on-in, that venerable house of crappy beer, non-existent lighting, and obscure metal, the Ding Dong Lounge. Once plied with sufficient amounts of alcohol, the circle was called to order. First up were, of course, the hares, who drank twice for setting trail twice. This was actually the third “final” NY-area trail set by Wee Willie. I guess he was taking a cue on how to retire from soon-to-be New Jersey Jet-QB Brett Favre.
We had one virgin and two visitors, but their names have been lost to the sands of time. The virgin was given an extra down-down for asking Lauren a question about a vibrator. (I have no idea, so don’t ask.)
Our not-quite virgin, Kyle was given two down-downs for (a) calling his mother at the start and (b) r*nning, as it were, in tight black jeans and motorcycle boots. It turned out that his virgin hash had been the Wednesday before, where he’d been similarly attired but that time claimed to have not known there would be actual r*nning. A less sophisticated hash might have pummeled him for blatantly lying to his fellow hashers, but instead the lovely USMW opted to christen him Pussy in Boots.
Marybeth, who sadly had nothing better to do than hang out with us, got a birthday serenade.
RH Steve and Anna were made to drink for wearing frog feet, a sort of shoe that looks like those socks with the toes. Anna tried to conceal her shoes in the on-in’s many shadows, but sharp eyes that spotted faded chalk in the park weren’t going to miss those things.
Finally, Wee Willie was called back up to receive his farewell down-down. With that, we got to the business of drinking more crappy beer, and eating pizza, and as always, a good time was had by all. On out!
