NYCH3 #1271

NYCH3 #1271

Date: June 18, 2008

Start: Astor Place Cube

Hares: Eager 4 Beaver, Junky Monkey

On-in: Boss Tweeds, Essex Street

Scribe: Mean Jean

OVERHEARD AT THE START (Eager 4 Beaver to HDTV camera) “We’re a good-natured bunch of drunks just out to run around and have some fun…”

The pack was a little light for a summer Wednesday but the darkening skies and their impending thunderstorms may have separated the hashers from the, um, less stupid hashers. Nevertheless, we huddled under umbrellas as Eager 4 Publicity, um, I mean Eager 4 Beaver talked it up the HDTV journalist. Eventually he and co-hare Junky Monkey, looking like he had recently junkied up, set us off with the instruction that there was “not much of a chicken trail” and “not much of an eagle either”. Still trying to work out what that emans.

OVERHEARD AT FIFTH AVE AND 8TH ST (Wet Connection to pack hovering under an awning) “I don’t like to run in thunder and lightening; I’m usually the tallest thing out here.”

Needless to say, once underway, the thunder and lightening and heavy rains arrived. We bobbed and weaved around the East Village for a bit then made our way toward Washington Square Park. Marks seemed to be holding up despite the downpour but still we were having some troubles resulting in some down time for us lazy bastards as the FRBs checked.

 OVERHEARD AT THE BACKCHECK IN THE WEST VILLAGE (Dogface to no one in particular after running up and down W. 4th St three times) “Why would you set a bloody backcheck when it was obviously going to bloody-well rain.”

The backcheck brought the pack together again as the rain subsided and we were headed back 5 marks to Washington Square again. It was a southern route down Laguardia and into the NYU projects before heading through Soho and down to Canal.

OVERHEARD AT CANAL AND BROADWAY (Alison E. after 15 minutes waiting for the Hell’s Angels to clear Canal) “Couldn’t we just go down into the subway and cross over?”

Once there, we were treated to quite a sight. A convoy of what must have been many thousands of bikers (the vroom vroom kind, not the EPO-loaded kind) coming across Canal from the Holland Tunnekl heading to the Brooklyn Bridge. Well, the luster went off that treat once we were stranded on the corner for 10 minutes. The line of headlights from the west was endless and the police seemed more than accommodating as they let them run through red lights. Seems they were all at some childrens hospital giving motorcycle rides to cancer kids…jeez, I had beer to get to.

OVERHEARD UNDER THE WILLIAMSBURG BRIDGE (Mean Jean to the increasingly distraught Wet Connection) “Shucks, the on in must be Boss Tweeds.”

Once the Moses of our group led her people across Canal, we headed into the lower east side. Once we hit the Williamsburg Bridge, I started playing, “where’s the on in?” and thought I must surely have it solved.

OVERHEARD in THOMPKINS SQUARE PARK (Increasingly distraught Mean Jean to Wet Connection) “Guess it isn’t Boss Tweeds.”

But alas, we found ourselves crossing not only Delancey but Houston again and into Alphabet City. WC and I found ourselves suspiciously surrounded by the likes of Dave Long, Lexi’s Bitch, Fireman Tim, and other sturdy frontrunning bastards. What was wrong with the picture? We feared we had stumbled onto the Eagle Trail but soon that fear was usurped by the massive police presence at Avenue C and 6th.

OVERHEARD AT THE CRIME SCENE (Lexi’s Bitch beginning to miss the New York action) “Hey, I could call Bellvue and see if they have any shooting victims.”

The only chalk marks were the body outlines and the plastic down down cups were used to mark where the shell casings landed. 10,000 Hells Angels, an East Village shooting, and the clock striking 90 minutes on trail were all the signs of the apocalypse I needed to decide it was time to call it in.

OVERHEARD AT AVENUE A AND 10TH (Alison E. to Mean Jean at the pay phone) “I have my iPhone”

Dragged from the payphone, I watched Alison try to work magic on her iPhone but was thwarted by having to plus in 3 and 3 to get to the prompts for the on in.

OVERHEARD AT AVENUE A AND 10TH 5 MINUTES LATER (Alison E. to Mean Jean and Wet Connection) “I don’t know how to use this phone to call the hotline; I’ll just call Tim”

OVERHEARD AT AVENUE A AND 10TH 6 MINUTES LATER (Alison E. to Tim) “I don’t know why I’m in the East Village either; you were the one who set the f*cking trail…”

Boss Tweeds it WAS! I love it when I’m right but not when I was right 45 minutes earlier! Anyway into the on in to find we weren’t the only fun-loving bunch of drunks out on a Wednesday night in the city.

OVERHEARD AT THE ON IN (HDTV journalist to no one in particular) “The flip cup kids are a lot more fun that these farty hashers. I’m out of here!”

Sketchy down down details but the ahres of course. Plus Alison E for being trail genius at Canal Street and Village Idiot when trying to use her iPhone to call the hotline. TV whores Malcolm, Alice and Half Naked Mark, and (yet another) farewell down down for Lexi’s Bitch 7th going away hash.

OVERHEARD ON THE WAY OUT (Mean Jean to herself) “This time I’m going to the write up as soon as I get home while it’s fresh in my head.”

OVERHEARD AT THE COMPANY XEROX MACHINE 30 MINTES BEFORE THE START ON TONIGHT’S HASH (Mean Jean to the kid copying 5 manuscripts ahead of her on line) “F*CKKKK!”