Place : LIC bar Long Island City
Hares: Kim Mastercard & Joe Pennsylvania
Date: June 25th, 2008
Master Card is everywhere you want to be… except at the start of her own hash? That was the opening scene for the chaos that we set out upon on the 25th of June. As the mix of hounds and virgins started out under the direction of Joe P. we went asunder and ended up back at the start. Joe P gave us abridged directions something to the tone of "go north young hashers" and we went off again. As we went round and round on the trail calling our On Ons one of our virgins Tyson to be exact couldn’t figure out what I, Wee Willie, was calling out at the top of my lungs. It’s "On On" I said, and when you come up to a mark you call it out, he go it after a few.
Allow me to digress about my On Ons which got all sorts of attention that day. After Tyson asked me what I was saying another virgin asked me if I was a drill instructor… "Nope just a thirsty hasher who wants some beer." I was also told that I could be heard 2 blocks away. Finally, which I am most proud of, my On Ons got me asshole of the week which means this hasher got a little extra beer for them. So ON ON and cheers to whoever nominated me ;).
Ok back to the trail. Some people bring cell phones on the trail incase they would get lost, of course this requires that the hotline gets set. Other hashers carry them so they can get calls from their loved ones, that didn’t happen either. In fact a certain loved one was sitting at the bar with us and after finding out that his partner and a few others were headed totally the wrong way and he wondered if he should call her and tell here where we were, or just play dumb. Of course the consensus was to play dumb, this was just to see what chaos would ensue when she got there. On that note I would like to introduce to my fellow asshole of the week Peter who left Lesley and her friends in the dark as they headed over to the west side towards Master Card’s apartment. Oh yes, didn’t he look damn sexy in his Chinos at a hash bar, you got my vote big guy.
Of course shame on the girls for assuming that the trail heads in a direction even though there were no marks. While cell phones are one thing to bring on trail I guess some others need to bring things like an Ezpass. The new resident to Hoboken NJ decided that since cars can go through gates shouldn’t hashers. Well yes they can if you bring your pass. No pass and the gate comes down. So go back to Jersey, Hoboken Dave and make sure you bring your pass next time so that you give the MTA their cut or they will take it out of your ass with their gates again.
Finally a little sections to our virgins. This can be summed up in observation and safety issues. Back in grade school I am sure we were all asked by some adult "If your friends jump off a bridge would you go and do it too" What was that answer. Mine was always yes… Let’s extend it to the hash if some psycho hasher who likes to scream ON ON decided to run into traffic is it a good idea to follow him . I still say yes. Next if the girl you are talking to has a shiny ring on her left ring finger that looks like a engagement ring it probably is. However, if you want to try go for it that leaves more of the non taken women for the rest of us. Finally, my favorite virgin line from that evening was "Is this how long it usually takes." You can let your imagination run with this line for a bit………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….……………………………………………………. Ok that’s enough it was about the hash. To them I say it takes as long as it takes so go have another beer and a few more slices. On that not I’m ON OUT. (R your ears ringing yet)
Your humble scribe and co-Asshole of the week,
Happy 4th of July.