July 18, 2007
VIRGIN HARES: Sandy and Nicole
Start: 106th and Amsterdam
On In: Bar East (90th at 1st Ave)
Virgin hares again this week, but no complaints about the trail or on-in, hip hip hurrah!
It was another coolish July evening with rain threatening. Not sure if it was that or maybe that its time for the masses to head for the beaches or mountains, but a smallish crowd for a summer Wednesday showed up at the start, perhaps 30 or so. The start was slightly chaotic with hare helper Dave mumbling some quick chalk talk. No, not Fast American Dave or the other American Dave, but yet another one. Perhaps we should start assigning bar codes or some such to all of these guys…
Anyway, we eventually set off on trail, following amazingly large arrows. The kind that probably took about half a stick of sidewalk-size chalk each to make. Well, better that than the more usual wimpy arrows too far apart. The trail first headed to the Hudson, where after a tricky check then across into Central Park. More tricky checks ensued, but then the pack (except for a couple F.R.B.’s who passed by too early) stumbled upon a melon check. No, get your mind out of the gutter folks, it was like a booze check, except the booze was infused into watermelon slices…a very good idea in my humble opinion. After enjoying said melons, the trail resumed eastwards, soon to leave the park. After a couple more checks the trail divided into chicken and eagle components, though the melon check attendants warned us the chicken was a precautionary measure in case rain washed out the trail. Most of us thus took the eagle trail, which led along the East River for a bit southwards, before looping back west and north to that well known on-in, Bar East.
Without FMIG leading the circle, it was noticeably more civilized as well as lacking in random abuses of power. The hares got down-downs for their very competent trail. Next was one visitor (from Seoul) and three virgins…one of whom was lucky enough to get an extra down-down from his new shoes. The hares were dragged back up for their blatant use of blue chalk right at the start. Fast American Dave was next for the very unhygienic practice of going barefoot in the bar, and Assh*le of the Week went to Devo (back in town for only the week). Apparently at the Metro North train station after last week’s NASS at Lunch’s, he missed the train due to a call from nature, of the long sort. Lastly, hare Sandy got another drink for her recent engagement, and lastly DBB got a final down-down for having the gall to announce the return of the Queens hash…actually a NASS out by Far Rockaway.
So, moving on to more esoteric stuff, yours truly is trying not to be outdone in write-up trivia by Joe Pennsylvania…here goes nothing:
It probably didn’t make it onto the ‘news of the weird’ press wire, but recently a scientific paper was published (peer-reviewed and all, the real thing) entitled “Flight Speeds among Bird Species: Allometric and Phylogenetic Effects”. The authors’ very quick summary shows the scope of the work: “Measurement of flight speeds of 138 species of bird reveals that mass and wing loading do not scale according to aerodynamic theory but vary significantly depending on phylogeny.” Not sure if you readers jumped to the same conclusion as myself, but this scribe immediately realized that with that kind of sample size, perhaps the ancient question “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” was fully answered, perhaps even solving the equally famous corollary, “African or European swallows?” And if you think I jest, get thee to a computer and you can find articles about it (and a link to the paper) if you do a Google search for “flight speeds 2007”.
Anyway, subsequent to the circle pizza appeared and was eaten. More good times were had by all, etc., etc. I recall random foosball games broke out, and hash cash also lasted a surprisingly long time…good work hares!