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The Truth |
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Official Organ of the Greater Gotham Full Moon
Hash House Harriers
G2FMH3 Hash #190 – Friday, March 30th, 2007
Start: Seventh Ave. & 19th St.
Hares: Empress Norma
On-in: Bar None(3rd Ave. & 13th
Punk Ass Bitch (Scribe): Salt Lick
The blind girl on trail couldn't see a damn mark.
But popular belief tells us that when you cannot see with your eyes, your other senses are heightened. This would put Evan—Marie’s seeing-impaired friend—several steps ahead of the rest of the pack possessing supposedly decent vision but still unable to spot an arrow if our beers depended on it.
At least Evan’s earsenjoyed the trail, as she commented gleefully that she “loved the screaming,” a comment for which she would later earn one of several Down-Downs.
We should have known at the start when Empress Norma told us she pretty much didn’t give a damn whether we found the trail. Blackout warned me that she had been known for using light-colored chalk in pre-twilight hours in hashes past, so I brought my trusty cell phone just in case I got lost on trail. After all, there’s nothing worse than being beerless at 8:30 on a Friday night, and I wasn’t taking any chances.
Blackout already was boasting about not having to pay Hash Cash as the ATM had spat out an extra $20 bill right before the pre-lube.
No one deserves to be tortured with the details of the terrible trail. An observer dubbed Marie, Natalie, Leslie and Wet Connection the Lesbian Marathon. Apparently there was a drink stop manned by Kaiko around Ninth and Avenue A, but I couldn’t vouch for that. Save it to say Blackout was more than happy to bump into me on a random West Village corner when everyone was running around aimlessly trying to find any semblance of a mark and I used my trusty cell phone to help lead us to beer.
Once we arrived at Bar None we feared the alcohol would run out before the Down-Downs even began, but no one worked up enough courage to express their concerns to the Hare, who sported a wifebeater that read, “It’s Not Easy Being a Bitch.” Not only did Hash Cash continue, but a DJ emerged around 10 p.m. and we all started rocking out to 80s music until at least 1 a.m. (I had to leave at that point because I live in the Dominican Republic, which is quite a distant subway ride.)
Down-Downs were sucked and swallowed by:
Gazoo-A visitor from Toronto.
Evan and Marie-You heard that story.
Don Juanabe-Bending over to miss a cab (earning him A-hole of the Week).
Greg Hairyass-Lighting a cigarette on trail Flacido Domingo-style.
Cat Woman-Someone bought a cat bed to the bar. We sung the Meow Meow commercial song.
New York Times celebrities—Several people quoted or pictured in the article about NYCH3 including, but not limited to, Fast American Dave, Eva, Dr. Bruce and Lexi (who left early to avoid a cat fight), Mean Jean, Jumping Jack Gash and Bottom. Special recognition went to Lauren, who was quoted as saying, “We Keep Our Clothes On.”
Our chants of “Tits Out for the Boys” were left unanswered. At least that’s what’s ON the record.