The Truth
Official Organ of the Greater Gotham Full Moon
Hash House Harriers
G2FMH3 Hash #179 – Friday, 5/12/2006
Hares: Pussy Repellant and James
Start: Bowery and E. Houston
On-in: Patriot
Punk Ass Bitch (Scribe): Lauren
“It’s Friday Night Muthaf*ckas!”
In proper GGFM fashion the pre-lube was at a cute irish bar called Slainte. As it turns out it is pronounced ‘Slon-cha’ and is the Gaelic equivalent of ‘Cheers’. As my Dad always says, “You learn something new everyday. And if you don’t you must be some kind of moron.” The best part about that is you’ve just learned your fact for today. Now you can take the rest of the day off from worrying my Dad will call you a moron and enjoy the following write-up.
An entirely uneventful prelube at Slainte left us totally unprepared for the craziness that would ensue. From the dearth (look it up and you’ll have learned TWO things today!) of marks and the difficulty of the checks we deduced that Pussy Repellant and James weren’t in any rush to get us to the on-in. They must have thought that on a Friday night no one would be in a rush to consume some delicious adult beverages.
As there is a good possibility it is again Friday night and reading this is further delaying your consumption of more thirst quenching pints I shall go straight to the down-downs:
Hares: Pussy Repellant and James…half the marks means twice the down-downs…drink up fellas!
Cree: Got to take the FRB backpack for next time and was awarded a second down-down for being a SCB (short-cutting-bast*rd) which resulted in his FRBness
Fast American Dave: Leave it to a successful lawyer to forget how to count to 6 and screw up the entire pack in a backcheck.
Sideshow Bob and Yellow Smellow: First appearance of the newly marrieds in a long time, emphasized by Yellow Smellow’s confusion upon seeing a false mark and questioning “what is that thing?”
Robert: numerous offenses including losing his GGFM virginity, his outlandish shirt and the following photo/invite which is self-explanatory…
Random Abuse of Power: given by Jen to Jumpin’ Jack Gash (scribe bites her tongue and continues writing from her notes)
James: takes his third down-down of the evening for handing out a Sunday write-up at a GGFM
Cockstar and Rich: For leaving stuff at the pre-lube
By this point the circle had long since stopped being attentive and several rogue singers (or just Oh Shit) were refusing to shut up for announcements. Cockstar decided to solve this dilemma by chucking her beer across the room at him and spraying half the crowd. Being caught in the crossfire and not one to take things lying down FMIG threw his beer right back. No strangers to being covered in beer and other substances the hashers simply shrugged their shoulders and went back to their beers.
Little did we know, but Oh Shit had another surprise in store for us (or just me as I’m the only one who got a good view). Somehow he convinced a momentarily brain-dead girl Molly to pants (or is it de-pants?) Yank-It who I was chatting with at the time. Let me just say that the whole episode caused a bit of an uproar, but all I concluded from it is that Wet Connection is one lucky woman and Oh Shit is one big pain in the ass!
As I’m sure those of you that aren’t coordinated enough to drink and read at the same time are probably quite fed up with reading by now I promise this is the last thing! We were all having a great time and well on our way to being drunk as skunks when our new friend Pussyfoot stumbled in all sweaty and disgruntled. Apparently he had “overheard the hares say 34th St.” and ran straight for it looking for marks from East to West. As the trail went no where near 34th he was lost and running for about 3 hours until he grew a brain and decided to go back to the start. Let that be a lesson to all of you that are tempted to take short cuts. That’s enough learning for today…now drink up you moron!