NYCH3 #1115

NYCH3 #1115

Date: Wednesday July 20^th

Start:  Girl’s Gate 102^th St and 5^th Ave

Hares:  Mickey Mouth and Club

On-in:  Hill at East Meadow (and then Merrion Square)

Punk Ass Bitch (Scribe):  Karen Z.

So what happens when Cockstar asks you to be scribe but you forget to pay attention during the hash? Read on….

Never in the history of the NYH3 has there been such a star-studded hash as The First Annual R*n Hit Wonder Hash! Who thought that our beloved Mickey Mouth would have the moxy to team up with Nike and the likes of the “legendary” The Donnas, Fountains of Wayne, Nina Sky, DJ Z-Trip, Chingy, and–the crème de al crème and piece de resistance of the evening–Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.

How could one miss such an historical hash? As I arrived at the start, I realized that obviously most of the NYC hashers could. Only a few stalwart hashers made it on start on time (Shoeless Erica, Seth, Sadie, Deanna, Loretta, and virgin friend, and possibly others that I can’t remember), with Booty Call, Flaccido, and Cockstar among the pedestrians. Mickey sent the pack (if you can call all of us that) off east, toward the first of what would come to be a scenic tour of the many upper east side projects.

I have a shady memory of the trail due to my heat-induced delirium (and nothing to do with the copious amounts of cheap beer drunk in the park afterwards). Basically, the trail smelled bad, there was some sort of street carnival (but, alas, no carney folk), sprinklers abounded (as did housing projects), and the assorted multitudes asking if we were running the marathon.

Since it was hot out and we already knew the on-in location in the park, I asked myself around mile 3 or 4, What would Mickey Mouth do? Well, short cut of course! So I left my fellow hashers and ran straight back to the park.

As I ran back down Lexington, I pondered the wonder that is the Run Hit Wonder. Why exactly was Joan Jett headlining the Run Hit Wonder? I believe she actually had several hits…I Love Rock N’ Roll, I Hate Myself for Loving You, Little Liar, Crimson and Clover, and Light of Day come immediately to mind. But we can’t expect those blokes from Nike to be literal, now can we? I mean, they were probably figuring that several thousand people wouldn’t hang around all hot and sweaty after running 5 miles to hear Kajagoogoo. Or would they? And who/what the heck is Chingy? Is it contagious?

As the rest of the sweaty pack struggled into the on-in hill, we watched the red-shirted R*n Hit Wonderers finish their r*n. Other hashers that started late (not including Mastercard) followed on to the hill. Devo, of course, was topless. Sideshow Bob was waving his medal around. Everyone was sweaty. Lots of people were changing by the trees (for more info, see the down downs). We were all drinking out of plastic cups (no need for a repeat of the Idiotarod fiasco).

Surreptitious down downs:

1. Mickey Mouth: hare extraordinaire

2. Visitors and Virgins: I’m getting old so can’t remember who they were

3. Sadie and Deanna: for tree hugging public urination despite the thousands of available

portopotties. Damn exhibitionists.

4. Ewa: new shoes. How long has she been hashing? Long enough to know not to wear new shoes.

5. Devo: asshole of the week. He nominated himself. Why? Why not?

Alas, we were too far from Joan Jett to hear all of her one hits. But no one really cared until we ran out of beer, and then the pack headed over to Merrion Square. So put another dime in the jukebox baby…

On out.