Official Organ of the Greater Gotham Full Moon
Hash House Harriers
G2FMH3 Hash # 165 –Annual General Meeting– Friday, May 20, 2005
Hares: Rich, Mean Jean, DownUnder, Pearl Necklace, Jumping Jack Gash, Scott
Start: 72nd & Broadway
On-In: The West End
Punk Ass Bitch (Scribe): Fire-In-The-Piehole
A coalition of the willing massed at the corner of 72nd & Broadway. Some arrived earlier than others either because they were more willing, because they fancied loitering with intent outside the subway or because they just plain forgot that the G2FMH3 starts 15 minutes later than the NYCH3.
At 1930 hours (UTC-0400) we were given the green light and headed east into the Park at Strawberry Fields. From there, we turned north, heading over the lake at the Bow Bridge. Some camera crew shooting on the bridge (“embeds”?) tried to hold back the eager pack but were frankly no match for the marauding hordes. A sound editor, hairstylist and the talent were subjected to a friendly trampling in the mêlée.
We wound our way through The Ramble up to our first beer check on 79th & 5th Ave. One of these days, someone will have to tell me what’s in a Strip & Go Naked. It was foul as usual but DownUnder seemed rather proud of it.
We advanced north along 5th Ave and turned back into the Park after the Metropolitan, crossing the Park and reappearing on Central Park West at about 86th. From there, we continued roughly northwest (give or take a couple of checks), following the scent of alcohol into Riverside Park. There we were greeted at our second “beer” check by Pearl Necklace who was dishing out vodka Jell-O shots.
Feeling a little dehydrated but curiously convivial about our predicament, the pack wasted no time hurtling up the hill towards Riverside Drive which, by this point, must have been around mile five. Further northwards we r*n and it wasn’t long (okay, it was another bloody mile!) before we were rewarded with yet another beer check at the Broadway Dive Bar. Well, at least those who weren’t carded & kicked out were rewarded.
From there, we bolted virtually directly north up Broadway and, just when we thought it would never end, we marched triumphantly into the On-In, The West End (113th & Broadway).
The circle was called and our attention turned to what this entire event was about: regime change.
Oh okay, it’s about drinking with a bit of r*nning on the side but there’s nothing wrong with getting on the Hash Liberation bandwagon. Before the despots could be dispatched, however, there was the issue of dealing with those responsible for the trail which had been hailed as a victorious catastrophe: Rich, Mean Jean, DownUnder, Pearl Necklace, Jumping Jack Gash, and Scott. They were called to account for their behaviour by Too Long and were verbally abused by all and sundry.
Rich, who considers inflicting a trail on a bunch of innocent hashers “such a rush”, was ridiculed for the comment and ordered to drink more cheap beer. Then came the virgin, DeAnna, who ignored Cockstar’s calls to “show us yer tits!” but hasn’t been seen since.
Shana and Maria, who suffered the indignity of being carded at the Broadway Dive (largely because they have a combined height of 5’2”), put away a Down-Down each but haven’t been seen since either. YankIt, Lesley, DownUnder and Crusty were all called up to celebrate their birthdays in true hash fashion by standing in front of a bunch of rowdy drunks who proceeded to hurl abuse at them.
Finally, the much-hyped, thoroughly-deserved and, frankly, long overdue dictator-toppling ensued. Mickey Mouth, DownUnder, Mean Jean and Jumping Jack Gash were paraded in front of the angry mob and promptly given their marching orders. They were replaced with the G2FMH3 Provisional Authority: Rich K and Cockstar as JMs, Chad as the Hare Raiser and Lisa, who’s made it her personal goal never to do a write-up, as On-Sec.
The crowd’s jubilation was short-lived as it quickly became apparent that the new lot were just as totalitarian as the last. The new administration wasted no time dishing out Down-Downs to the previous committee apparatchiks, Mean Jean & Jumping Jack Gash. Then came the first naming ceremony (a whole 18 seconds after the new committee’s inauguration): Alex, for apparently being surgically attached to his backpack, is hereafter “Snatch My Sack”.
Finally, Jumping Jack Gash was recalled for one final bout of mockery because he didn’t know the start time of the GGFM despite being the JM for a year and Too Long and Danny were asked to drink out of each other’s new shoes. It seems they’re new to the hash as well and hadn’t realised that this custom existed. With the pack’s thirst for retribution sated, they focused on sating their thirst for beer. An impossible task, to be sure, but that didn’t stop many of them trying…until the early hours.