NYCH3 # 1093

NYCH3 #1093

Date: February 20, 2005

Start:  96th and 5th Avenue)

Hares:  StEwa

On-in:  Merrion Square

Scribe:  Cockstar




            And what a weekend it was!  We had the Gates, the Gates and (guess what?) more of the Gates.  The streets were packed and it was impossible to travel anywhere on the UES or the UWS during this long weekend.  In fact, I ended up having to walk across the 96th Street transverse to get to the start because the traffic was so backed up.


            Having arrived early, and still recovering from the hash pandemic flu, I opted for a v. unhashly-like libation: tea.  Starbucks was packed on 96th and Madison, so I made my way down to my old stomping ground (91st & Madison – where yours truly went to High School) and got my self a hot one.  Moseying back to the start I wondered where we might r*n, having r*n the Gates the previous weekend.


            It was a small crowd for a holiday weekend; maybe 15-20 r*nners at the start.  It’s been over a week now, so forgive me and grant me some On-Sex license here: Screaming O and civilian boyfriend John, HUA, Patrick, Chad, Karen, Ed Lunch (I think), Mary, Pussy Repellant, hares StEwa (of course), Crofty, Fire-in-the-Pie-Hole, Cree, Dr. Steve and Jumpin’ Jack’s Gash.  Hmmmm, there was either a dearth of women or I prefer to only remember the men (you decide).  Despite a lousy showing from NYCH3 regulars, there were a fair number of I-only-show-up-once-every-4-months hashers, who (because of their infrequent hashing) shall remain nameless. 


We started somewhat timely and were instructed to enter the Park on 97th Street.  Trail went north along (you guessed it) the Gates and up to a circle jerk around 100th Street.  True trail continued further north up to the ice rink and then around the Harlem Meer, but non-Botty Call Patrick and I decided to short cut the trail, based on his claim that he had seen arrows along the 96th Street cross-road. 


Off we went, turning east on 96th Street and up to the Reservoir, only to encounter a mark which read: Go back 18 Gates.  This we did, only to come back out to the start a whopping 8 minutes after we left it.  That being said, it was not surprising to see the hares waiting with the bags and for the late arrivals.  At this point, Patrick and I learned that we had cut off the entire trail, so we started again.


The second time around, we were able to avoid the Harlem Meer because, at the top of the hill, we spotted Alice (DFL) along the northern end of the drive, heading west up Wave Hill.  Patrick and I decided that r*nning on the drive was better than through the Gates and we cut across the 102nd Street loop.  Half-way across we found Cree (lost as usual) catching up with the pack along the soccer fields and we followed suit along the foot paths under (can you guess?) the Gates.


            At this point, all hell broke lose and pandemonium ensued.  There were hashers, hashers everywhere!  Hashers r*nning around 98th Street, some east, some west and some south.  It was a mess.  Having short-cut this route before and spotted the on-in stenciled in chalk, when we passed the start for the second time, we high-tailed it to the on-in at Merrion Square (95th and 2nd Ave).  Even with this head start, we were not the first to arrive as Chad (“Let me show you by FRB ass all evening in my tight r*nning shorts”) was already outside stretching and showing off his behind.


            We like Merrion Square because we can have anything on top (I mean TAP).  Pizza arrived in due course and the down-downs were doled out by former JM HUA.  NOTE: Down-downs are from HUA’s notes, so that’s my excuse if they are out of order and somewhat sketchy:


            1.)        Hares Stewa.  Stewa (Redux) because we r*n through the Gates for the second week in a row.


2.)                Visitors and Virgins.  A bunch of these: Charlotte, Foxy Lady and Dead Animal

(both from Canada). 


            3)         Dead Animal a few more times, due to mouthing off to HUA during his first down-down, wearing a hat in the Circle, for some Canada-sweat-shirt-wearing offense and the well honored hash no-no of taking photographs of geese on trail in the Harlem Meer.


3.)                Slip-and-Slide for arriving late to the hash in civilian clothes because she had

just retuned from a trip to India and had locked herself out of her apartment.


4.)        Screaming O.  Now this was good.  Screaming O showed up wearing a black T-shirt that had a Velcro® strip across her boobage, which bore the statement “SAY ANYTHING.”  Of course, this prompted HUA to direct Fire-in-the-Pie-Hole, Dr. Steve and me to come up with an anagram.  I was selected to remove and replace the letters (given their strategic location) and the new statement read: ONE NY GAY SHIT.


5.)                AOW went to Brooklyn Steve (a/k/a Anger Management Steve) for engaging in

full contact hashing with a tourist who was trying to peacefully wander through the Gates.


Hash cash didn’t last long and a group of us retired to the Parlor on the UWS for supposed $1 pints.  Another group, faithful to the UES because they live there, remained.  And I remain yours truly, Cockstar.



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