Official Organ of the Greater Gotham Full Moon
Hash House Harriers
G2FMH3 Hash # 162 – Friday, February18th , 2005
Mis-management: JMs: “Kyle” & Mean Jean The Down Down Machine
Religious Advisor: “Scot” and “Danny”
Parliamentarian: Sarah Downunder and Pearl Necklace
On-Sec: Mickey Mouth
Sergeant-at-Arms: Crazy Bob
Stats: Hares: Polish Manslave
Start: 56th and 6th
On-In: American Spirits
Punk Ass Bitch (Scribe): Jumpin’ Jack Gash
What a TOOL…
I was walking up 7th Avenue toward the start thinking that this was going to be an odd evening for the GGFM with an unusual turnout since it coincided with two traveling hash events. The bollocks were off to Scotland while the women were upstate for a lesbian sex weekend. Why hadn’t I shaved my ass and joined in on the lesbian sex? But alas my loyalty to the GGFM!
There was some confusion regarding the start – NW corner of 57 or 56… but the attractive, intelligent, wholesome group had noticed the NYCH3 mark at 56 and were congregating. (Note to self, NYCH3 mark at start of GGFMH3 run, add one down-down). It was a cold night, but a good turnout as we waited for the hare.
No hare, but no problem – sometime trails run late. I wasn’t worried since the hare, Manslave, was an experienced hasher. As I waited, I wondered why we hadn’t scheduled a pre-lube at H**ters. Pearl, the designated Bag Hag, shows up in heals – things were beginning to go south…
No hare. The crowd was beginning to get restless. Jean’s hashing survival skills kicked in and she did the only thing a JM can do in such a situation – Father Abraham! Of course, half of the damn crowd was so young and inexperienced that they had never heard of Father Abraham, so Jean herded everyone onto the adjacent building plaza and gave instructions to follow her lead. When Jean couldn’t get past the first verse, Mickey jumped in and led on with skills that can only come from being trained overseas. A crowd of pedestrians gathered thinking that we were a street performing group from the Alvin Ailey Dance Studio.
No hare (Note to self, hare is very late, add one down-down). Mickey started to call Manslave’s cell phone when it was reported that Manslave and Down-Under share one cell phone and Down-Under took it upstate on the lesbian sex trip. Mickey blurts out, “What a TOOL” and we all lose it (Note to self, great line add one down-down).
A search party was dispatched to locate signs of trail. Success – trail is found heading west. Anarchy breaks out and the crowd starts piling bags on the sidewalk and prepares to leave. In a risky move, the pack was released while the committee hung back with hopes that the trail would lead somewhere and a hare would eventually arrive.
7:50 – Manslave arrives complaining like Hendrix about cross-town traffic. Mickey and Jean volunteer to help load bags into a cab [ed note – I had actually left by then and was running down CPW]. Manslave tells me the trail heads to the upper eastside and if I can catch up to the crowd, I should warn them that it’s icy in Central Park.
Off on trail, I caught most of the pack at the first check on 10th Avenue just as they discovered the trail headed north. Although Manslave f*cked up the start, as I was running, I had to admit that the trail was well marked. Off we ran through Lincoln Center, following the pink beacon that is Ewa’s shorts, and up Broadway. We turned east somewhere south of 72 and headed into the park – our last Christo enhanced hash. We ran across the park and headed to the UES. Simple trail, but after all of the drama, simple was good.
The On-In was held at American Spirits at 91st and Second, a true dive with a touch of class (they kept yelling at us to keep our beers off the pool table) and a jukebox filled with serious 80’s rock! [ed note – 80’s RULE!] Down-downs were doled out: Three down-downs for the hare – offenses listed above. Visitors and Virgins. Jean resurrected the “abuse of power” down-down which was awarded to Mickey for her to assign. She chose Minicuchi [ed note – that’s Minicucci] who had trouble managing the size… P*ssy Repellant for racing on trail. Norma (of the bright red hair) and Ookie Cookie for swapping hair dresser numbers. We ate crappy pizza, and lots of it! Beer ran out in due time, but the specials continued on…
I guess it’s time to leave. Where the hell is everyone else? This place smells like left over pizza and stale beer and some bald chick with a huge Adam’s apple won’t leave me alone, or is that HUA? How the hell did we wind up in a dive on the upper eastside? I gotta get home. Hope I packed my GGFM HELP (Hash Emergency Leaving Pack) – keys, cash, written directions for the cabbie in case he doesn’t understand tongues. YES! Good to go… Every good GGFM lives up to its slogan – PARTY LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW.
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