NYCH3 #1077, November 6, 2004
HARES: Jumpin’ Jack’s Gash and Cockstar
START: 59th St between 1st & 2nd Avenues at the on ramp to the Queens Borough Bridge
On In: Dive 75
Scribe: Cockstar
MARATHON TRAINING RUN
This is not typically a well-attended hash. Maybe it’s because people have better things to do on a Saturday, don’t want to be drunk by 7PM before they go out with their REAL friends, are hung-over from the marathon pub crawl the night before or, maybe, it’s cause they’re r*unning the stinkin’ marathon the next day and would rather carbo-load at the Ronzoni Pasta party at Tavern on the Green — instead of pizza and beer at a Dive Bar. WHATEV!
So, it wasn’t surprising that only twenty-or-so people showed up at the start, which was somewhat confusing, because the start was off of the down ramp on the 59th Street Bridge. Jumpin’ Jack’s Gash (JJG) actually had to mark arrows from 2nd Avenue to the start. JJG was in charge of the trail and the chalk-talk. There were a couple of new hash marks – one was a Chicken/Marathon split – explained as: either follow the white arrows or follow the blue line up First Avenue into the Bronx and we’ll see you in a couple of hours. Then there was a: “only if you know New York” should you follow the NY hint (GO TO THE ‘FINISH’) mark.
The pack was promised a short trail. One visitor from Boston actually showed up with his bag/number from the Expo and wanted assurances that the trail would be 3 miles or less. So, naturally, we told him to follow the blue lines while we auctioned off his number to the highest bidder. Daulphish (sp?) – pronounced, “dog fish” was a returnee. Unfortunately, every time he shows up and introduces himself – we all think his real name is a hash name. I myself was a victim this time, but that’s typical open-mouth-switch-feet behavior for me. I apologized. Other regulars included Jonathan (part of the Twin Towers), Chad, Bruce, Viagra Vince, Stewa, Magoo, John Burke, Crofty, Haldi (a/k/a Flaccido Domingo), MasterCard, Fast Am. Dave #6, Sarah and Andrew and Jo(h)n (twice in a weekend????) and a few others I can’t remember.
I had nothing to do with the trail, but JJG told me it somewhat followed the last couple of miles of the Marathon. So, my guess is the trail went up First, west towards the Park, zigzagged a bit therein and then up the 0.2 miles of rolling hills to the finish – out around Tavern on the Green and then up the UWS to Dive 75. It was a short trail because JJG and I barely had enough time to get the bags to the bar and get plastic cups for water before the FRBs arrived.
As always, the beer flowed and Vince flirted with anything that didn’t have three legs. A couple of civilians showed up including Wet Connection and Mean Jean. Laird also showed up at some point with children in tow and there ensued a vicious game of Connect Four (??? – I don’t know, I just make this sh*t up as I go).
The pizza was timely and as the warm, comfy smell of tomato sauce, cheese and pepperoni wafted in the bar, the down-downs were doled out:
1. The hares.
2. Visitor – Neil from LA.
3. Neil – again – for being a marathon widower – his wife was r*nning.
4. Chad – for being an FRB and showing off his FRB skills by throwing his chalk up over the finish line, r*nning over to the other side to catch it and, whilst doing so, leading the rest of the pack off trail.
5. Haldi – for r*nning his first marathon (DC’s Marine Corps Marathon) last weekend and who still hasn’t quit smoking.
6. Jonathon (Part Deux) and stand-in for DBB (John Burke) for being late to the start and having to r*n with a bag. The best part was that DBB, seriously pissed-off at the hares for leaving too early showed up at the on-in, bitched Jumpin’ Jack’s Gash out and then took the subway back to the start and r*n the trail by himself. By the time we got to his down-down, however, he still wasn’t in.
7. MasterCard – what NOT to say the day after a hash pub-crawl – for commenting at the start that she was afraid to r*n the trail because her underwear was “chaffing” her privates.
8. Mean Jean for being so anal that she had all the marathon r*nners’ precise times at mile 23 on Fifth Avenue.
9. AOW had to go to Fast Am. Dave #6, for showing up at the hash the day before he planned to r*n a 2:55 marathon, carbo-loading with a couple of beers and two slices of pizza. You GO BOY!
On-out.