HARES: Walkabout and Magoo
START: Dyckman Street & Broadway
On In: El Tubbys in the foothills of
Scribe: Mean Jean
Ted. Inwood Park. The waning light of a late summer Wednesday. I should have known.
Like the caged birds and the intrigued kitten pawing between the bars so poetically placed at the On In, I was at the mercy of something greater, stronger, more powerful than myself—a hare. To complete the Animal Farm metaphor, there was also a chicken (yes, you read correctly, a chicken) walking around at the On In, possibly symbolizing me on trail as well. But I get ahead of myself.
After laughing at Doug on the phone for saying he was leaving at 6PM (an hour and 15 minutes?!?!?!) on a straight shot on the A from W.4th up to Inwood, I gave myself a paltry 45 minutes to make three subway connections from the east side. And yes, I was late! But in good company, as a small bunch of us (Crazy American Dave, Rudy, Wet Connection, and a couple of virgins) headed off after Ted assured us we were only 2 minutes behind the pack and the trail was very short. That little voice in my head reminded me to ask for a shortcut but that cavalier idiot exterior won out and off we went up into
The good news about starting late is that the checks are normally solved and indeed when we approached the first speed check, our way was marked. Unfortunately, as we discovered an “F” half way up the hill, it was marked incorrectly. Now, Rudy, Dave, WC, and I are not exactly known for our checking but when the virgins set off back to the speed check, we at least convinced them to follow us as we continued our way up in the other direction to find trail, which we eventually did. The rest of the checks were smooth sailing but WC and I hadn’t seen each other in awhile and had much catching up to do (oh, and Dave was annoying us and the virgins were speed demons) so we dawdled and hung back. Very pretty view at the top of
Back down the hill about 50 yards from where we entered (hmmm, that would have been a good shortcut) and across the street and up the hill into
And the On In was set spectacularly at the river’s edge directly across from the
The invitation said, wear white. And most people gave a good attempt despite white shorts being few and far between. The bride-to-be, Shana, looked lovely in a chiffon number and Nikes. And her pal Maria was awfully cute in a cheerleader-style white skirt. Hubby-to-be Dan was also looking dapper; hell, I was just happy he wasn’t setting trail! Burke graced us with a hash appearance between jaunts to the
The circle was called and I found myself standing next to DB2, making it difficult to hear over all the “Why, in my day…” ramblings. But I’ll reconstruct the down downs as best I can:
- Hare Ted Walkabout Pitt on his own, co-hare Magoo having been banned from the circle
- Visitors and Virgins: sorry didn’t get your names
- Patrick Too Drunk and Ookie Cookie; and the story goes, Patrick Too Drunk fell down and went boom at 2 in the morning (hmmm? I wonder if alcohol was involved). He calls up
and says, My ass is bleeding. I have no insurance. Can you stitch me up? Ookie Cookie agrees and escorts Patrick to her hospital for stitches thus earning Ookie Cookie her place as On Call doc for the HOPSers and Patrick a hash name: Booty Call Ookie Cookie, MD
- Bottom’s two virgins to drink out of sparkly new shoes
- Unremembered Down Down Number 1
- Unremembered Down Down Number 2
- AOTW to Ted Pitt for setting a beautiful trail that no one could see in the dark in a park where a co ed recently turned up dead
A cornucopia of fried food arrived: French fries, chicken wings, chicken fingers… hey, wait a minute, I haven’t seen the bar’s chicken walking around in a while?