HARES: Kyle and Mean Jean
START: 18th St & 8th Ave
On In: The Emerald Inn
So you’d think that after a six-month hiatus of running I would be able to remember where the trail went last Wednesday. Right? Wrong! I must be having a senior moment because I can’t even come close and it’s only Sunday. I know it started at 18th and 8th and ended at the Emerald Inn at the corner of Spring and
Hares Kyle and Jean. Visitors and virgins a plenty. The guy who ran in a button down shirt and who also got AOW. Wet Wille for “buggering off” to
This Agreement entered into as of _________________________, by and between long-time member of the New York City Hash House Harriers _______________________, (“Resident Hasher”) with a residence at _________________________and newer member __________________________________, (“Newbie”) with a residence at _____________________________________________.
WHEREAS Newbie desires to enter into a coital/let’s-see-where-this-goes thing (the “Relationship”) with Resident Hasher.
WHEREAS Resident Hasher desires to enter into a Relationship with Newbie.
NOW, WHEREFORE, in consideration of the mutual covenants set forth herein, Resident Hasher and Newbie hereby agree as follows:
“Hash House Harries” shall mean the drinking club with a running problem established in the 1930’s by two Englishmen in
“Home Hash’ shall mean the chapter of the Hash House Harries where Resident Hasher first started hashing and/or currently resides.
“Hash Night” shall mean every Wednesday night during the summer months and every Sunday afternoon during the winter months when the New York City Hash House Harries run.
“Hash Cash” shall mean the amount of money paid for the privilege of running and for bevies.
“Beer” shall mean a 16 ounce pint glass of hops and barley brew (preferably the “good stuff”) served at the on-in and paid for by Hash Cash.
“Down-downs” shall mean the Beer doled out by a Joint Master and consumed by a hasher for any offense on trail or otherwise.
“Hash Friends” shall mean all of the people Resident Hasher met before Newbie showed up at the Hash.
“Term” shall mean the amount of time that Resident Hasher and Newbie decide to engage in the Relationship.
Subject to the terms and conditions herein, Resident Hasher grants to Newbie for the sole purpose of rendering Resident Hasher happy, a non-exclusive, non-transferable and non-subliceseable right to bonk Resident Hasher for the duration of the Term.
During said Term, Resident Hasher shall have the sole and exclusive right to bonk Newbie. Newbie shall not engage in extra-curricular bonking or flirtatious behavior with other hashers at the Home Hash. What he/she does outside of the Home Hash is not covered by this Agreement, but he/she best not get caught.
Resident Hasher shall have the right, in perpetuity, to turn in/ rat on Newbie for the purposes of Down-downs. This includes new shoes, stupid comments, trail offenses or just when the mood suits him/her.
Without limitation to the foregoing, and except as provided herein, Resident Hasher specifically reserves all rights, whether now existing or which hereafter may come into existence, to smooch, fondle or bonk other hashers.
Newbie shall pay all Hash Cash for himself/herself and shall not hit up Resident Hasher for Hash Cash. In the event of termination, all monies paid by Resident Hasher on behalf of Newbie, whether a Hash Night or not, shall be returned to Resident Hasher.
All rights with respect to the Relationship, whether now existing or which may hereafter come into existence, which are not expressly granted to Newbie herein are reserved for Resident Hasher.
Upon expiration of the Term, Newbie shall not attend any running event at the Home Hash on Hash Nights. Newbie may, with prior written approval from Resident Hasher, attend Home Hash non-Hash Nights such as NAWWs and NASSs.
All Hash Friends shall remain the sole and exclusive property of Resident Hasher. Newbie may retain cordial relations with Hash Friends, but shall under no circumstances call, solicit or try to convert Hash Friends to his/her side.
Newbie shall return all haberdashery to Resident Hasher upon termination of the Relationship. Resident Hasher may keep all items acquired from Newbie during the Relationship with the option of hurling them at Newbie if necessary.
This Agreement sets forth the entire agreement between Newbie and Resident Hasher on this Relationship and supercedes all prior negotiations, understandings and agreements between them concerning the Relationship. No amendment or modification of this Agreement shall be made except by writing by the party to be bound thereby.
This Agreement shall be governed and interpreted in accordance with the rules established by the Hash House Harriers without regard to principles or conflict of laws. The parties agree to submit to the exclusive jurisdiction over all disputes hereunder of the Joint Master.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, Newbie and Resident Hasher have caused their Beer-infused brains to execute this Agreement as of the date and year first above written.