Virgin's Guide
Q: What the hell?
A: Yeah, we know.
Q: No seriously. What the hell?
A: Oh. We r*n around the streets, alleys and parks of the NYC metro area in our never-ending quest for beer, food, good times and beer.
Q: What exactly is hashing? Why is it called hashing?
A: Hashing is a mixture of athleticism and sociability, hedonism and hard work; a refreshing break from your regular routine. Hashing is an exhilaratingly fun combination of r*nning, orienteering, and partying, where packs of Harriers and Harriettes chase Hares on 3-to-6-mile-long trails through town, country, jungle and desert, all in search of exercise, camaraderie, and good times. In NYC, obviously, there is more town than jungle or desert.
Hashing, as we know it today, began in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, in 1938, when a group of restive British company men got bored at their local hangout. They often referred to the Selangor Club as the "Hash House," which is sort of an affectionately derogatory term for a sh*tty restaurant, similar to "greasy spoon." They started a r*nning group based on a British schoolchildren's paper chase game sometimes called "hares and hounds." Each r*n was patterned after the traditional British public school paper chase. A "Hare" would be given a head start to blaze a trail, marking his way with shreds of paper, soon to be pursued by a shouting pack of "Harriers." Only the Hare knew where he was going; the Harriers followed his marks to stay on trail. Apart from the excitement of chasing down the wily Hare, solving the Hare's marks and reaching the end was its own reward, for there, thirsty Harriers would find a tub of iced-down beer.
Hashing died during World War II (Japanese occupying forces being notoriously opposed to civilian fun), but came back to life in the post-war years, spreading slowly through Singapore, Indonesia, Australia, and New Zealand, then exploding in popularity in the late 70s and early 80s. Today there are thousands of Hash House Harriers clubs in all parts of the world, complete with newsletters, directories, podcasts, magazines, campouts and "dress runs" in cities all over the world, winter ski weekends, charity events, cruises on all seven continents and national, regional and world Hashing conventions.
Despite its growth, Hashing hasn't strayed far from its British and Malaysian roots. A typical Hash "kennel" is a loosely organized group of 20-40 adults who meet weekly or biweekly to chase the Hare. We follow chalk, flour, or paper, and the trails are rarely boring. When forced to, we r*n streets or alleys, but in general we prefer "shiggy," our term for fields, forests, jungles, swamps, streams, fences, storm drains, and cliffs. In New York City, the shiggy is people. Although today it's more common that some Hashers may shun a cold beer in favor of a non-alcoholic beverage, the "on-in" is always a party. Perhaps that's why they call us the "drinking club with a r*nning problem!"
Q: That was a long response.
A: Yes it was.
Q: I sweat like a pig, even worse when I r*n. Will this be a problem?
A: So do we. Your small bag of dry clothes will be transported to the On In. It won't be a problem as long as we can still taste the beer.
Q: What's an On-In?
A: That's the venue (in NYC usually a bar) where the trail ends and the party begins. Some bars have actually allowed us to come back for subsequent trails.
Q: What exactly happens on trail?
A: The trail is set by another Hasher called the Hare. The Hare marks the trail in flour or chalk. Periodically, the Hare will end the trail with a "check", and starts the trail again somewhere nearby. The Hashers — called a Pack — try to find the continuation of the trail. The idea is that the fast r*nners will get to the check before slower folks; will expend a lot of time and energy finding the continuation of the trail; this will allow the slower r*nners and walkers to catch up; and the whole pack — fast and slow — will ideally finish the r*n at about the same time. At the start of each r*n, the Hare will conduct an explanation of the marks used on today's trail.
The length of the trail varies from too short to too long. Forty-five minutes for a good r*n, one and a half hours for a lousy one. If you get lost or just want to pack it in, you can call our hotline at 212-HASH-NYC to find the on-in. Having some money in your pocket will help you catch a cab if you need it.
After trail, expect to join us at the On-In for beer, dirty jokes, general silliness and a social circle during which we will sing songs, including a song to welcome you to the hash.
Q: What kind of marks should I be looking for in my quest for beer?
A: Here's a breakdown of the marks you'll be looking for. You don't need to remember them, we usually don't.
Q: I don't run…
A: That's not a question. Also, you don't have to r*n. Walkers, wheelers and folks of all abilities are always welcome! Let the hare know during "chalk talk" you're walking. If needed, they'll give you a shortcut. We often lay multiple trails of differing lengths to keep hashers of differing speeds at a similar overall time on trail.
Q: Do I need to join the Hash?
A: Nope. Just show up at any of our scheduled events and we'll be glad you decided to cum.
Q: Does Hashing in NYC cost anything?
A: Other than your self-esteem and the respect of your colleagues, family and friends, all it costs to Hash in NYC is what we call "hash cash." In NYC we generally ask for $2 per trail to help cover overhead costs and to spoil hashers with free beer at future events (cash or venmo) — if this is a problem, find a member of mismanagement. If the hare is providing beer or food for everyone, they may ask for additional Hash Cash — this is usually noted in the event details. Otherwise we use "London rules," meaning you can choose your own adventure in terms of how much you spend on beer and food at an On-In.
Q: When does all this happen?
A: There are several kennels in the City so there's bound to be at least a couple of trails each week. Occasionally it works out that there's a Hash nearly every day of a given week, depending on how the planets align. Hashers that attend all of the Hashes during such a period are usually recognized for their dedication and superior constitution but pitied by the group for having such a barren and pathetic social life outside the Hash. Here's a quick breakdown:
New York City Hash House Harriers — Wednesdays @ 7:00 PM
Brooklyn H3 — Every other Monday @ 7:00 PM
Greater Gotham Full Moon H3 — Once a month on the Friday closest to the full moon @ 7:15 PM
New Amsterdamn Weekend Wankers (NAWW) — Random Saturdays or Sundays @ 2:00 PM
Long Island Lunatics (currently seeking Long Islanders for the committee) — Once a month Saturday — default 3:00 PM but start times often vary with the tide, especially in summer.
Queens Black Knights H3 — Sporadic; random days, random times, all over Queens
Q: That's confusing.
A: Yes it is.
Q: Is there an easier way?
A: We list all of the start and On-In locations or check here on the website. All trails are posted in the "Receding Hareline" section on the home page and it's occasionally up to date. For bigger events, we may post on Facebook and Instagram.
Q: So you expect me to check the website every week and hope it's current?
A: I'm sorry, what?
Q: Are you not listening to me?
A: Gabe was talking to me. Sorry. What did you say?
Q: I asked if you just expect everyone to check in every damn week to find out the Hash schedule?
A: Or you can join the email list, we used to send out a weekly announcement listing the upcoming week's trails. We'll try to get that going again.
Q: Will you sell my e-mail address?
A: Yes, this website is actually an elaborate scam to sell your precious e-mail address for 1/16th of a cent.
Q: Prick.
A: Please frame your insults in the form of a question.