Hares: New York Cock Exchange & Pussy in Boots
Start: The Bushwick Country Club
On In: Casa de New York Cock Exchange & Pussy in Boots
Brooklyn Hash # 697
Scribe: Rack N’Roll Her
Sigh. The farewell hash of two notorious and well-loved hashers. They are leaving, off to Chicago (well, gone as I write this). What will the GGFM do without New York Cock Exchange?! No one has the endurance to run circle as long as she can! Or be as loud, really. And their drink checks! The Pickleback drink check in East River Park wins best drink check ever, of all the NYC area kennels. Never mind that the pack got completely lost on that sh*$$y trail and had to run back to the drink check from the bar. But I digress – I’m not writing about the GGFM trails – back to The Bushwick Country Club.
Shortly after 7pm, a very large group of hashers, many of whom are rarely seen in the provinces of Brooklyn, were chatting at the start. There was plenty of time to drink a pint since, true to their Friday night hash style, our hares gave the chalk talk close to 7:30. The pack was off, and an absurd quantity of bags, luggage, purses, laptops and other random crap were piled into the hares’ car, and on top of the hares and yours truly. Having gotten a ride to the drink check, I have nothing to share about the trail, except that it ran through Bushwick. Oh, and the one piece of information that I later heard repeatedly from half the pack: there were oppressive smells of homemade doughnuts and sewerage. But if you missed the farewell trail of New York Cock Exchange and Pussy in Boots, not only did you miss scents of fresh bread and poop, but another fantastic drink check. Raphael and I managed to scare off the police officers that snuck up on us in the playground, and provided the pack with a delicious Cider Bourbon mixture. After giving generous seconds, and thirds of the drink check to those that were DFL (is it really worth it to be the FRB?), we packed up and headed to the grand apartment building of our hares.
The pack quickly took over the building’s party room; tore through cases of beer, devoured all the food, and somewhere in that mess there was a circle.
Our down downs for the evening:
Hares – For leaving us!!! Prompting our JM Eager for Beaver to make the comment that “New York Cock Exchange will be surprised to find herself at a hash where she isn’t the JM”.
Virgins – Just Kelly (Ding made her cum) & Shaun (Torr made him cum)
Ding – Abandoned his virgin on trail
Terminally Anal – Missed the Drink Check
Ding’s Virgin & Ivory Dickler – I think they were playing the piano. (Not really sure, but I do remember there was some kind of challenge issued, and then things got weird…)
Fast American Dave – He interrupted and ruined an arm wrestling match, which would most definitely have ended with the spilling of an abandoned beer.
Whoremaster – Miso Ramen (This, and only this, is in the notes, and I have no memory of what it means or refers to. Next time you see Whoremaster you can ask him, I’m sure he will have a lot to say about it)
U.S. Marine Whore – She ran the Brooklyn Marathon the day before.
Ian, Marie and Ricky – For their disgusting toes and toe stories. At the drink check these three wankers were sharing their personal methods for popping blisters, draining blood, and removing dead toenails. Please, tell us about your pus! Nothing is sacred at the Hash.
Just Trey – He was named Pediphile. Just Trey was walking around the On In in his sandals and showing off a lovely pedicure and some sparkly green nail polish. I think that feet may have been the theme of the evening.
With that the circle ended (well that is where it ends in the JM’s notes), and everyone broke off into their own silly conversations. There was plenty of beer left when I decided to piss-off, so it will be up to your wild imaginations to divine how the night ended.
Goodbye New York Cock Exchange and Pussy in Boots, you will be missed!