March 8, 2010
Start: 4th Avenue and 9th Street
On-in: Bar Royale
Hares: Noah’s Dingy & US Marine Whore
Scribe: Just Laura
I arrived 20 minutes late after the F crawled through Brooklyn. Four other hashers were on the same train, so we all took off as fast as possible, trying to reach the on-time group. We heard something about an eagle, a chicken, etc. etc. that 30 runners were out on the trail. It was a beautiful spring evening, probably why people came out on a Monday night for a lovely run. We took off down 4th Avenue and ran down the same empty street across the Gowanus as in #501… so I was very happy when I ran into Ewa, another Hasher. We started chatting and chatting, through Park Slope, Carroll Gardens, then ran through some housing projects, around to Atlantic Avenue. Past every chain store in creation, we ran back into a neighborhood of brownstones where a dead-looking rat sat in the middle of mine & Eva’s path. After a random kid started laughing, we realized the thing was plastic, not real, and continued. We got to an intersection back in Park Slope, where the chalk showed the eagle & chicken paths merging… which meant we chatted so much we missed the path’s split. Oh well. We think we ran the chicken. A few minutes later down 5th Avenue and we were at Royale, the last to arrive.
Royale was not crowded, Fight Club was on television, so drinking commenced. There was a nice selection of pale ales, FYI. There were two other guys at the bar, one started screaming at us to be quiet, before the circle. I thought, oh man, just wait, soon you’ll truly hate us. I hoped he didn’t scream at us too loudly, unless he sang a melody to the songs, which would sound nice… anyway, the circle started and down downs were given out, and that guy left:
- Virgins: Chris, who made himself come; Allan, who sadly came alone, without coming; Brock, who was brought by Death Breast; and Steve, who also made himself come.
- On the trail, Twisted Nipple and Tim chased down some harmless puppies, sad. Twisted Nipple was not around so Hedgehog, looking like Twisted Nipple, took her down down.
- Canine Fixation, as he called false 3 times on the true trail, that was cruel
- Death Breast, for singing along with skateboarding hoodlums. Did we run through any neighborhoods with true ‘hoodlums?’ Or were they perhaps ne’er do wells?
- Legal in Some States, who bent over & showed his crack to Twisted Nipple, who loved seeing said crack. Twisted Nipple was back in the circle for this drink.
- Red Headed Steve, who made a pack mark out of garbage <- ew
- Ivory Dickler, for complaining about pizza being the food of the hash. At this moment, this is when the pizza arrived. The crowd reacted and some people suddenly "Needed to get beer" and stood near the pizza boxes. Sure, Hasher, you’re thirsty right now, not hungry. Totally buying that, yup.
- Dental Damned, who told someone his name is Francois. Why, we’re not sure so we think he should admit that he’s gay.
- Canine Fixation had to come back and take another down down as, his crime of leading the group ashtray three times earned more punishment.
- And last, Smashmouth, who wrongly called the pizza’s arrival.
Everyone swooped down and grabbed pizza slices, and the spinach slices were gone quicker than you could say "Vegetarian." People were there until at least 10:45 as that’s when I left, to get back on the slow-moving F train. Not sure how long hash cash lasted; in my mind, at least as long as it took me to get back to Williamsburg. Til next time,