BH3 #502 Polar Bear Hash

NYCH3 #1362 and BH3 #502

12th Annual Polar Bear Hash

Hares: Fluffy and Dogface

On In: Peggy O’Neals

 

**** WEATHER ADVISORY****

 

The National Weather Service would like to warn NYCH3 and BH3 hashers that while the latest snowpocalypse left the Big Apple on Friday, it’s still cold and there is still ice and snow on the ground.  Additionally, the ocean is likely a bit chillier than normal.

 

**** END ADVISORY ****

 

For 12 years the hash has proven to be full of foolhardy folk that think swimming in the ocean during the dead of winter after running in the furthest flung parts of Brooklyn are good ideas.  This year was no different, as a good sized pack made their way to Peggy O’Neals for the beer bought by Fluffy (thanks!) before the trail, and a refreshing r*n and dip.

 

The chalk talk was had, with an advertised chicken chicken of 2 miles and an eagle of 5.  Being lazy/clumsy, I opted for the chicken, but didn’t even make it that far.  Turns out the boardwalk is treacherous after snow, and after witnessing I-Feel Tower execute a perfect backflop while on trail, I along with several others decided the most prudent course of action was to return to the bar and drink more.  A good decision, if you ask me!

 

After the hardier hashers made it back to Peggy O’Neals, swim attire was donned and a trail was blazed through the snowy sand towards the ocean.  Seems like everyone went for a swim, and there’s luckily photographic evidence that we aren’t so bright at times.  Check out the hash flickr group (http://www.flickr.com/groups/nych3/pool/) for photos of the foolishness.

 

After warming up with some boozy hot chocolate (thanks Headlights!), the pack headed inside for a warm up and some down downs.

 

Down Downs:

 

The hares Fluffy and Dogface, for setting a trail that was entirely too dry, not icy or slippery at all.

 

There was a virgin who ably made her escape prior to the circle.

 

The two visitors, including the esteemed Yorky Porky from the other side of the pond.

Trader Blows and Two Buck Fuck, for being the FRB’s and the dubious distinction of being Russian, yet afraid of the snow and ice.

 

Splat for being a generous soul with his supply of booze, not only with fellow hashers, but also some of the grizzled denizen bums of Coney Island at large.

 

Legal in Some States and Mike for eating sandwiches provided to them by strangers.  While they were from a church, apparently they hadn’t learned the “don’t take candy from strangers” lessons as children.

 

I-Feel Tower was the proud winner of the Smashmouth award for a spectacular fall on the boardwalk.  As a witness to the fall, I can say it was executed with a grace rarely seen among the Smashmouth award winners.

 

Oral Values, Barf Fly, and Evan for making the rest of the hash look like lazy bastards by running to the on-in from the r*ce earlier in the day.

Ed Lunch, for being Ed Lunch.  In this case, he found a bottle of Evan Williams brand whisky on trail and proceeded to claim it as his own, and brought it back with him to the on-in.

 

Fireman Bob, who initially offered to take care of the virgin until she revealed that she wanted to run the eagle trail.  All offers of help were withdrawn at that point.

 

There was a name awarded by the hash.  As Eric ran into the ocean in a scantily clad manner (yet still clad), potential names were put to the pack for a vote.  The winner: Eric is now known as Shrinky Dick.  Congratulations!

 

The final down-down was awarded to Headlights, who had on some lovely sparkly pasties that covered up her headlights.

 

Beer, fried chicken, and assorted fixings were inhaled by the pack, who worked up quite the appetite during the swim.  As the beer dwindled along with the USA’s gold medal hopes in hockey, your scribe exited, stopping at Nathan’s for further sustenance for the long subway ride home.

 

On out – Just Brittany

P.S. After your scribe had left for the evening there was another vote and Eric’s brand new hash name was switched to Speedo Gonzalez.


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