NYCH3 Run #1270
Hares: Gabe "The Babe" & Alison
Start: 46th & Broadway, Darkest Queens
On-In: Lavelle’s, same location
Scribe: Dave Too Long
Before this week’s write up (and shamelessly ripping off Noah’s Dinghy), here’s a quick quiz. What do you, Mr. or Mrs. NYC Hasher, think of when you think of Queens?
a. It’s that depressing industrial bit I pass through on my way to the Hamptons every weekend;
b. Doesn’t the other baseball team play there?
c. It’s a diverse borough with what appears to be an abundance of interesting hashing territory;
d. Queens?! I never set foot outside Manhattan pal.
Based on the turnout for last Wednesday’s hash, I have to assume that most of you did not answer (c). Thus, we were treated to a rare Wednesday night hash with a pack size somewhat less than that of the field for the NYC marathon, and an on-in where (I kid you not) you could actually hear yourself think. There were even a few true Queens representatives in our midst such as Bahamonde (who I think may have been born there and so gets the "True Queens" prize for the week – sorry, Mike), the hasher formerly known as Boyslave, Basia and of course the hares themselves: Gabe "The Babe", a name which always seems more suitable for professional wrestling, and Alison, which does not.
The instruction to dump our bags in the bar gave a subtle hint that this would be an A-to-A run, although in the unfamiliar surroundings this may not have proved to be that much of an advantage should you happen to have got lost. A pack of around fifteen basked in a beautiful early evening sun while The Babe administered chalk talk to the lone virgin and a visiting couple from Baghdad. Now, if you’re wondering what hashing is like in Baghdad, you should have made that subway ride last Wednesday and you could have found out – but let’s face it, if you find the thought of hashing in Queens too intimidating, we have a hunch that BH3 might not be for you either.
Trail was a mostly straight-lined jaunt around Astoria, taking in such notable sights as the Triborough Bridge, Astoria Park, several branches of Dunkin Donuts, and the Grand Central Parkway. One of these actually boasted grass and trees. But then, when hashing in Queens, you quickly learn to block out all thoughts of little luxuries like trees, grass, open air etc. and concentrate on the task at hand – namely, avoiding becoming another road traffic accident statistic and getting to the beer. This itself proved to be a minor problem, since upon our arrival at the on-in the lone bartender was busy playing with a tap that appeared to have been accidentally cross-wired with a fire extinguisher. Anyway, after this slight technical hitch, pretty soon the Bud pitchers were flowing. Note to Queens newbies: many bars in Queens are old school with their beer selection – if they have draft beer at all, it’s usually a choice of Bud or Guinness. They also don’t seem to have heard about Mayor Bloomberg’s smoking ban.
Since there was a darts match taking place upstairs, we were directed into the "party room", a.k.a. the cellar of Lavelle’s. This is a state of the art facility equipped with all the usual mod cons such as 14" color TV, plastic-topped furniture and smell of piss. But we are hashers and don’t let such trivial things get in our way. Except, that is, for Dogface and Basia, who apparently took one look at the cellar/beer selection/sweaty pack (or all three) and decided that their evening would be better spent elsewhere. Those that remained engaged in the usual small talk, drinking, and reminiscing about life above ground. The Babe had the pitchers coming at a furious rate, apparently over-compensating for the earlier supply problems. Mr. & Mrs. Baghdad were attracting plenty of attention with their Baghdad Interhash 2010 promotional t-shirts ("Baghdad 2010 – it’ll be a blast"). Unfortunately, they didn’t get the vote, but I’m sure that Commander-In-Chief McBush will have the power to overturn that decision if necessary. M&MB answered questions politely, doubtless wondering quite how they managed to hash in one of the world’s largest cities and here they were talking to fifteen people in a Queens cellar.
Our JMs enjoyed the luxury of not having to scream during the circle. Various down downs were doled out, recipients and details unfortunately totally forgotten. Somebody might have got one for spitting on an old lady, or maybe I’m confusing the hash with work. Anyway, I’m sure by now that those who answered (a), (b) or (d) in our little quiz are clamouring for some Queens hashing action. Unfortunately, you may very well have to wait for the next Babe and Alison production for that.