NYCH3 #1215





NYCH3 #1215
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Start: Suspenders Bar, Broadway and Wall St.
Hare: AssRanger
On-In: “2 by 4” at
2nd Ave and 4th St.
Scribe: Lauren


The Hare:  Many feared the return of AssRanger to the haring scene after the debacle that was his last attempt at a live trail w/ Fast American Dave.  Several said “don’t let him do it” or “I’ll be skipping this one”.  Well shame, shame shame on those non-believers.   As it turns out AssRanger cleared his name and the trail was a success.  Even Hardy was heard saying, “you know, it really wasn’t a total f#*k up after all”


The trail:  Plenty of single-headed white arrows and tons of tiny little colored pack-marks made for a well-marked jaunt through downtown.  There were lots and lots of checks which kept the FRB’s at bay and even succeeded in getting them a bit lost (see down-downs).  We ran threateningly close to several Brooklyn-bound bridges, but thankfully our outer-borough hare decided to keep us on the Island.


The on-in:  Was a dive bar at its best; It had the dark dank feel of Doc Holidays, lots of hanging bras reminiscent of Bourbon Street, and fun board games a la Dive 75.  Needless to say we felt right at home.   AssRanger ordered us up several buckets of KFC (that’s Kentucky Fried Chicken for you youngin’s who wouldn’t remember) and lots of side dishes.  AssRanger wouldn’t take too much credit for it saying, “this is Fluffy’s trick, never order pizza, everybody loves it”.  Now I’m not sure I’d go touting Fluffy as my mentor under any normal circumstances, but the buckets of Colonel Sanders special recipe were a big hit.  Hash cash was a decent deal and when it did eventually run out Gary generously (read: trying to get virgins drunk) bought 50 PBR’s for the crowd to consume. 


The Down-downs:

–First to the hare for surprising us all and not f&#king up the trail.

–Then we wasted about a pitcher on beer on virgins who we’ll never see half of them again.

–Then JM formerly known as Tim and now known as “Eager for Beaver” or E4B as he’s taken to calling himself was brought up.  The story behind the name isn’t all that fantastic, buy hey it’s a good name!

–Speaking of new names, Bruce shall here-after be known as “Lexi’s Bitch” for obvious reasons.

–Then an unfortunate virgin (or was she just relatively new and really ditsy?) who dropped her ID outside the on-in and was heard by many to exclaim “oh no what would I have done without my license plate!”  Mastercard was a suitable stand-in for that one.

–Would be FRB’s Gary, Red-headed Steve (gotta get a better name for this kid), and FAD for getting totally lost on trail and then sprinting in a vain attempt to still finish first.

–We celebrated Jeremy’s (he’s the tall blond one) first 29th birthday

–Then finally A$$hole of the week went to red-headed Steve for killing a mouse at a previous on-in.  Two things I took away from this: Steve’s getting better at the plunger (AOTY?) and Manhattan has too many mice!