NAWWH3 #135

New Amsterdam Winter Wednesday #135

Date: January 18, 2006

            Start: Front St. and South St.

            Pre-lube: Heartland Brewery

            On-in: Jeremy’s

            Hares: Fuck Me I’m Gay (FMIG) and Kerry

            (Virgin) Scribe: Jenn

FMIG’s co-hare actually showed up this time which was a good thing because he needed to break his “Manhattan curse”. He succeeded with a super-secret unmarked beer check!

As a slow and dumb pack whore I can’t provide the exact details on where the trail went. One check was at the Wall St bull. We were in the WTC Path Station when I saw a check and spotted an arrow that a blind man on crutches could have beaten me to. I loudly and proudly shouted “on-on”. Don Wannabe was cumming up from behind and snidely commented “did you mean…ON-ONE?”

The check on Chambers St. was where the fun began. Cries of “The Patriot” were heard far and wide. Eventually Dave B., Steamer, Eric (Alaska guy), and me somehow became the FRBs while the arrow that “falsely” maneuvered everyone else into the Patriot led to a surprise beer check. Whom do you ask paid for the beer? Why it was our very own Sideshow Bob and Flaccido Domingo who I later heard were “doing an interview” (?) at the bar when the hashers came in. The four of us continued, with Eric diligently marking the trail and almost getting arrested when a security guard spotted him marking in front of the federal plaza building. No big surprises for the remainder of the trail.

I volunteered myself for the first down-down as soon as I walked in the door at Jeremy’s. Before I had consumed even a half-pint of beer someone yelled HASH CASH and like the cheap jew that I am I complained loudly and demanded to know where all the money was going since there were about 20 of us and only 4 supersized beers on the table.

Steamer reasoned that since I had r*n the whole trail I could do the write-up. FMIG said he would help and I told him he was taking me out to dinner. Steamer grabbed the reins as down-down master and started off with the hares and then with an indecent exposure accusation of Fast American Dave for wearing shorts. He then called up all the “deviants” who partook at the Patriot for stopping at a false beer check but since there were so many of them we needed more beer and there went more of my hash cash. Don Wannabe was next for passing fake $2 bills (marked with his personal “where’s george?” stamp) to pay hash cash. (On a side note he would like you to know he’s marked over $20,000 of bills for the where’s george website.) FMIG gave Flaccido a random down-down for teaching him everything he knows about hashing. Despite conspicuously waving and “oohing” I failed to get a down-down.

Flaccido announced that he “got the baby jesus” (or that’s what I thought he said) at the mardi gras hash and needs help organizing, please get in touch with him.

Note: Please blame FMIG for any mistakes. This was only my seventh time hashing and I haven’t even made-out with anyone at an on-in…yet.

On-out.