Panting and wheezing 5.5 miles later in Sunset Park, foolishtourists (de Brooklyn) rejoiced at the sight of Tiki Bar. Our hare must havetaken the term “tour” seriously, as he started the pack in DUMBO, and proceededto r*n us through Brooklyn Heights, Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens, Boerum Hilland the ever and ever so lovely Guwanus. Amazingly, Jeremy set the entire trailin a straight line and yet managed to find THREE nasty hills for us along theway.
We shot dirty looks at our hare, then head to the bar patioto ring our shirts out and commiserate. Several pitchers of Blue Moon helped toease the pain, and it was soon time to circle up. Following is a less artisticrendition of the down downs:
- Jeremy our hare, for his clever checks that never once led the pack anywhere but south
- Jeremy again – a very happy birthday, and a very hearty fuck you
- The virgins of course, and visitors Sarah and a couple of Danes
- DBB for being his typically angry and British self, this time taking his wrath out on Nina’s unsuspecting bag with a swift drop kick
- Wet Willie for wearing an incredibly offensive and insensitive t-shirt about some OTHER Tour de Brooklyn
- Justin for buying the hash ice pops… wait, no – his down down was for admitting he put ice pops down his shorts after a run. Not after today’s run… right??
- Dogface Roy for an unexpected outburst, possibly due to a pube found on his ice pop
- The future TDB hares for being so damn good looking
- Ashley for throwing out her back at the ripe old age of 28. Steve joined her in a sympathy down down.
- Dana and me – something about panties but we’ll never tell
After the circle, hashers continued to do what we do best, which is scarf pizza, guzzle beer and make bad decisions. Welcome to Brooklyn bitches – ain’t no classier way to kick off the tour.