October 7, 2007
Hares: Dave and Sean Hardy
Start: 103rd and Broadway
On In: Broadway Dive (101st and Broadway)
Scribe: Scooter Gleason
I knew I knew the word I wanted. I just couldn’t think what it was. Then it hit me. Epigram! Then I looked it up. Turns out, I was wrong (yes, not only does that sometimes happen to me, but I sometimes admit it). Epigraph is what I meant. So I was close. The hash is that way, sometimes (well, usually, but who’s counting?). And what is an epigraph? Glad you asked.
A motto or quotation, as at the beginning of a literary composition, setting forth a theme.
And why was I thinking of epigraph? Because a group of us at the on-in, after several beers, were amusing ourselves reading the caption of a poster reproduction. It showed a woman in pre-Cirque du Soleil days in a variety of poses. In truth, the poses did not look all that dissimilar to some I had seen hashers get into before the start of a r*n (and some looked very similar to ones I’d seen after the on-in, but, being married, I can go no further than that – at least, not until my wife leaves town). Beneath the poster was this caption, which I thought could easily be the epigraph for this write-up:
Fascinating exhibitions of nimbleness and agility with the acme of graceful, modest and wonderful posing, without doubt the greatest female contortionist ever seen whose astonishing and chase displays of suppleness have won her the title of the cartilaginous wonder!
Of course, we’re far too deep into the write-up for that to serve as a proper epigraph. But there it is, all the same. And it would have been a perfect epigraph, too. It’s a shame I couldn’t have worked it in earlier. C’est le hash!
My hash experience (and, lest we forget, this is, after all, all about me) began with Sarah from Down Under catching up to me as I was leaving the subway. She proudly displayed for me the large bruise on her leg that she earned after a colliding with a car earlier in the week.
As the pack assembled on the corner of 103 and Broadway, the whole thing went to the dogs. Literally. First to show was Stewa, with my dog, who didn’t seem to recognize me after a mere 24 hours apart. Then Cockstar showed up with her dog. Or was it a small pony? Whatever it was, Cockstar was pleased to say that cleaning up after him was a “two-hander.” After a couple of dozen hashers showed up, Hardy called us to order. In what could be a nearly-unique experience, there wasn’t a single visitor or virgin among us. So he sent us off.
I don’t want to say that the trail was predictable. But at the start, Fast American Dave speculated that the trail would probably go into Riverside Park, head north for a while, then go to Central Park before coming back to an on-in near the start. I offered that it might possibly hit Morningside Park. And where did the trail go?
It went straight to Riverside Park. It headed north, exiting at Grant’s Tomb. It then went over to the Columbia Campus, before entering Morningside Park. Then it went to Central Park, entering at the northwest corner and exiting at 100th Street. It then went to the on-in, the Broadway Dive Bar, which was conveniently located just a couple of blocks from the start.
In fairness to Hardy & Son, it was a good (tho predictable) trail. I encountered Fast American Dave several times along the way, the sign of a good (tho predictable) trail. Marios and Andrew and I also met up at several different spots, each making sure the other marked the checks. Some of us even went back to make sure the pack knew where to go.
At the on-in, many down-downs were handed out. But the notes given to me, scribbled on paper plates and used write-ups, are virtually worthless. So here are the highlights:
- Hardy & Son for being the hares.
- Hardy’s Son (Sean) for being Hardy’s son. No wait, for being unhelpful to FMIG at the start. Proving, in this case, that the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree.
- Sarah and Tripod. Sarah for being hit by a car; Tripod for hitting a chair in the bar with his hip.
- Gabriel was AOTW for reasons that are not entirely clear to me. But the fun of that down-down was the knowing look on everybody’s face as he did it while wearing a hat. And I think we all know what that means: another down-down.
- And we had a naming! Ashley commented at the start that she is “such a sucker for kids and dogs.” So she became Kiddie Sucker.
Later in the proceedings, FMIG re-opened the circle to rename Ashley and to name somebody else. But in my many years of hashing experience, I have never seen anything good come of a re-opened circle. So let’s just say that it didn’t happen, nobody got re-named, and nobody else got named.
The real earth-shattering news at the on-in was Hardy’s concession that perhaps it is time to raise hash cash to $20. So there it is. It’s official. Hash cash has joined the inflationary spiral.