Official Organ of the Greater Gotham Full Moon
Hash House Harriers
G2FMH3 Hash # 170 Friday, Oct. 1, 2005
Start: The Patriot (Chambers and Church)
On-In: Welcome to the Johnsons (Rivington and Norfolk)
Punk Ass Bitch (Scribe): FMIG
It was a horrid night, a night fit for no person to be on the streets of New York City. Wind whipped around street corners, rain beat against the sidewalks, and the sound of thunder nearly drowned out the noise from the devout group of alcoholics who defying all sense, gathered at The Patriot for the latest installment of The Greatest Gotham Full Moon Hash.
Why not run?
Perhaps because of the aforementioned dark and stormy? Perhaps because it had been like this for days and anyone with any sense wouldnt be thinking of running a trail? Perhaps because Fluffy was in charge and as of 3pm that afternoon had not settled on a borough, let alone a bar to on-in in?
No, none of that was reason enough for us to just go straight to the bar, drink ourselves silly, pick someone up, and go home. We had to go running first. In a rain storm. To follow a wash away trail set by a man called Fluffy. On freaking on.
Off we went, Salt Lick caterwauling, Ass Ranger whistling, Booty Call and myself generally shouting whatever popped into our heads. The trail headed North and East and North again eventually disappearing somewhere North of Canal Street. By the time I caught up to the FRBs it became apparent that we couldnt find popcorn in a movie theater and I rechecked north with Ass Ranger. We didnt find trail right away but using all the resource and wit at our disposal, we decided to turn right at the end of the block and shockingly enough found a mark heading east.
Five minutes later we passed Fluffy and Monica standing on the corner of Rivington with the bags, including Evas giant pink bag of death. This was no great surprise, at least to me, as the last time I ran a Fluffy trail it ended with him on the Corner of Smith and President, surrounded by plenty of bags, no beer, and no bar in sight.
Fortunately, the On-In was right across the street at Welcome To The Johnsons, a once hip bar which has apparently fallen on hard times if they have room for the likes of us on a Friday night. We hauled the bags in, ordered some beers and waited for the rest of the pack. And waited. And waited. Apparently, they expected the Canal Street check to solve itself. Maybe they expected us to come back for them. Maybe they stopped somewhere for a quickie.
Anyway, they showed up as the 2nd round arrived, and en masse, we began the important business of terrifying the local hipster contingent, or at least the people who supplanted them at WTTJ.
Sooner or later we scared away future customers when we started to let the love rule
Down Downs were awarded to
Our Hare Fluffy: Had Fluffy gone to McDonalds prior to the circle, I think he would have been banned from ever planning an on-in again. Kudos due though for laying a good trail in the sh*t weather.
Virgins Rory and Mike: Props to Kyle for making them cum.
Myself: The FRB award which is a knapsack the winner has to carry on the next trail after adding something too it. Currently, this bag contains a bag o rocks and a rather large sneaker. Im leaning toward sewing a giant stuffed animal to the damn thing. I;m sure this is a grand tradition at some hash or other.
Officer John: received the hash name Don Juanabe (wannabe) for hitting on every single woman at every single hash recently. Keep up the good effort John, sooner or later someone always says yes. Maybe it will be.
MasterCard: Apparently she thinks she can take on 18 Wheeler Semis, but can she handle Don Juanabe? I dont doubt it.
Salt Lick and Lauren: They had some sort of threesome on trail with some ridiculously tall guy, Crofty I think.
Lauren was hauled right back up there by Ed Lunch for a random abuse of power down down. Have you seen these two? Strangest.Hash.Couple.Ever
Fluffy was out at Mickey Ds by this point but Mean Jean kept on screaming something about his PBR priced shirt, which she found to be kind of girly. Rory took one for the team here. Well done man.
The circle degenerated into chaos, the center could not hold, and soon after, Ronald McDonald returned with his hamburgers and mcnuggets.