Instant Replay: Run 88. March 11. 1996. Hare: Jane Kenyon Start: Jay and Willoughby Sts. On In Stubs. Clark and Hicks Sts.
“This trail has been so well marked, none of you will need to leave any pack arrows. If you insist however, I have some extra chalk. Does anyone want any?”
Hands shot up in the air like Patriot missiles over Tel Aviv. We knew the trail was going to be ill marked, hard to ﬁnd, and our only chance of finishing this run in the same time zone was to mark every check, every missed turn, every gap in the trail. How did we know? Simple. It’s the Schnipper Rule, Whenever the hare says the trail’s well marked, you can bet he (she in this case) marks the trail as well as my asshole chews bubblegum.
Out came the chalk, Groans: blackboard chalk again. “It was all I could ﬁnd. Where do you buy hat wallboard stuff, anyway?” Buy? Como? Qu’est ce que sals “buy”? We take it from rubbish heaps, we steal it from the haul-away containers parked outside every renovation project, we pilfer it from the dumpsters near every apartment rehab. Then we cut it into two inch by six inch strips and voila! Dave Cary marking materials. Also, wallboard only comes in white, so there’s none of this rainbow-hued stuff like Jane used. “Don’t worry, I only used the light colored ones,no blue.” Sure, and Trotsky got the ice axe in the head during a freak climbing accident.
Just be sure to set the hotline and mark the On In at the start. “I will.” Having Chuck Dugan there was some reassurance. At least he’d be able to remind her to do the simple things, like bring the bags to the end, mark the last bit of trail, draw an arrow and assign saying “On In” outside the bar so we’d know when we were there.
Off we went, toward MetroTech, south toward Atlantic, running all over. Surprisingly, the trail was pretty well marked Jane put lots of arrows down, generally meeting the two-per-block minimum needed to keep us all on trail. It helped running with a magnifying glass, given the micron-wide thickness of the chalk lines, but we managed to ﬁnd most. Several times the pack got separated into small groups, especially toward the end. Jane’s marking prowess took areal nose dive late in the run. There was some really nasty stuff when the trail petered out (melting snow obliterating the teeny lines. Jane claimed. Works for me; my accountant always screws up my tax return, too) on Clifton near Joralemon, and again when the trail went into Cadman Plaza Park and vanished for blocks. Apparently, it was supposed to go straight through the park, then ever to the Brooklyn Bridge, hook around. then come back to Stubs
Good old Stubs, home of the St. George hotel ﬁre. Not much going on there lately, so we outnumbered all the regulars by a safe margin. Food was pretty good, too. Trouble was, Jane forgot to put the arrow outside the entrance with the magic “On In” written nearby. Fortunately someone ﬁgured out what was missing, and supplied the signage on her behalf. I guess Chuck Dugan wasn’t as useful as I had hoped.
As for Chuck’s current situation, he seems to be weathering the Chase-Chemical contretemps pretty well, although like all employees in both organizations, he wouldn’t mind a midnight phone call from some executive search ﬁrm, describing a nice, safe job at twice the salary in Manhattan instead of the upstate backwater of Rochester. He also spun some drivel about a bad back explaining his lack of running lately, and how alcohol was the most effective pain suppressant for the particular form of lumbar distress, both circumstances explaining his rapidly expanding girth. His old rugby chums, Neal and Dominic, have been having children for Uncle Charlie. Becoming an uncle Is probably a lot easier than becoming a parent, and gives you more opportunities to drink to the health of the offspring, the parents, the ﬁrst steps, the ﬁrst words, etc.
Another pleasant surprise was the appearance of Mr. Rhys soon-to-be-Williams, ﬁnance of Jeannie Williams, She was very taken with the idea that Rhys take her surname instead of vice versa. He does a pretty quick down-down. I think he’s played rugby, too. Jane was a little concerned that Pete’s Wicked was not good enough for us, but once we saw Rhys didn’t die from the beer we ﬁgured it must be all right.
Dave Long signed up to hare a Queens hash on his birthday, Schnipper beat much of the pack after starting late, and no one’s bag was stolen, so it all turned out pretty well in the end. Next hash we should have Jane’s pictures of her run up the Empire State Building as she participated in the annual Run Up the Empire State Building. You remember the event It was won a few years ago by a ﬁreman out on permanent disability. Unfortunately Jane is still employed, so she didn’t have as much training time as the ﬁreman. Still, her time sounded pretty good, and she had a great view from the top. Congratulations.
Queens H3 Inaugural Run: The inaugural run of the Queens H3 will be held Monday. April 1st, at 7:00 pm at the 46th St (Bliss St) stop on the #7 line in Queens. QH3 will run the Mondays Brooklyn H3 does not, so those of you with time on your hands every other Monday, your problems are solved. There has been some talk of making this a Red Dress Run It is not. However, if you just happen to have a Red Dress you are dying to wear on a hash, the organizers suggest you shave closely and run quickly. On a different note, there will be commemorative tee shirt, and the Brooklyn H3 tradition of better beer will be observed by Queens H3 as well.