Monday, 28 December 2009
Start: Nevins Street & Flatbush Avenue
On-In: Sharlene’s Bar
Hares: Just Mel & Goes All the Way
With the thermometer hovering right around Zero (I do Celsius, deal with it), the pack assembled at Nevins and Flatbush, ready to shed some of those holiday kilograms. The tall buildings on Flatbush Avenue helped channel the wind to enhance that wintry experience. Apparently it wasn’t cold enough for some hashers; a few of them stripped down to shorts. Puppy Lovin’ Machine’s kilt was flapping in the breeze. According to reliable witnesses, he was NOT wearing the kilt in the traditional fashion; perhaps he was a little too attached to his naughty bits to risk them in the cold. With various layers shed and added, the pack was off down Nevins Street toward Atlantic. Trail wound through Fulton Mall, then up Jay Street. We went East through a housing project, then, drawn by that prominent beacon, into Fort Greene Park. The hares had provided ample words of encouragement on the stairs to the top of the park. From there it was down into Prospect Heights, where Goes All the Way stayed out all the way to the end of the trail, dispensing Champagne to thirsty hashers in Grand Army Plaza. After a few more adventures, the pack sought shelter in Sharlene’s Bar on Flatbush Avenue, where the beer stood up well to Brooklyn’s ‘Better Beer’ standard, including the Brooklyn Monster and Smuttynose Winter.
Headlights and Noah’s Dinghy brought the pack together, starting the circle off with the hares receiving a down-down for their trail. Puppy Lovin’ Machine was visiting from Voodoo H3 in New Orleans and Just Mike was returning to the hash after doing a trail on Long Island some 15 years ago. Better late than never Mike! We did have a scantily-clad virgin whose name escapes me. Apparently no one had told him to bring a B bag. At least he was wearing pants. Just Tony and Bulldozer received the Boy Scout award for helping an old lady across the street at the start. I guess they were hoping for some beer money as a reward. Puppy Lovin’ Machine must have been expecting some kind of reward when he gave Death Breast a ‘friendly’ smack on the ass, but clearly he has not spent enough time in New York City. He is lucky to have survived intact. Barnacle was directionally challenged on trail, telling everyone ‘No trail this way!’ when he was practically in front of the On-In. Just Mel apparently interrupted Headlights and Noah’s Dinghy when they were discussing down-downs. Just because there are no rules in the Hash, doesn’t mean there aren’t some things that are held sacred. Like BEER! Splat set a new record, having been lapped twice by Eager for Beaver and three times by Ivory Tickler. Bulldozer, Porno Putz and Ivory Tickler were inducted into the Hall of Lame for giving lame excuses as to why they can’t set trail. What, they have lives or something? Goes All the Way and Splat drank for getting lost on the way back from the Drink Check, at which point Mel discovered that another thing the Hash holds sacred is ‘When One Hare Drinks, They All Drink’. With that, it was time to devour the pizza. On on and Happy New Year!
All proceeds from this week’s write-up will be donated to the Genital Frostbite Foundation. Together we can rid the world of genital frostbite!